Stepping out on my own! - breaking ties rather than keep trying to conform and failing

Being at a juncture is both scary anxiety making and potentially a chance for change for the better which may or may not turn out as you hope, plan, expect but fear of the unknown can stop us making the most of life( guilty). I tried for years to fit In with NT life, family, work, friends and as you said I don’t fit and continue not to fit. Therefore changes to manage that are a good idea. Getting the balance between what we can manage and cutting ourselves off is tricky. The good thing is you said your career is good so you have solid ground and social contact at work. Staying in negative relationships which don’t support you is not good and being on your own is much better than living in ones which are not mutually supportive. So some unhealthy friendships I cut out and although uncomfortable was the right decision. If you can’t be yourself or be yourself without understanding or interest or compassion from the other person you’d probably be happier without them. Some friendships I was the one cut out but I never knew why and it hurt but better that than pretending. Family relationships are tricky for me and are even more so since my mum died because she held us together and also tricky since diagnosis because they don’t want to know and I seem to have less in common with them now.. I’m unresolved about how to deal with that except try to feel less ashamed of who I am. In the end it’s one of those areas where only you can decide but if you ask yourself if you could tolerate how things are indefinitely then you will perhaps find your own answer.. the trouble is we don’t always like the answer because then we have to do something about it. Believe in yourself and be the courageous person you are. I think Pots reply was very good too... keep talking and bouncing ideas until you feel ready to make a decision x

I gave up trying to fit in to the NT world and as you put it jump through hoops and failing.I tried to make a go of UNI but just couldnt fit my brain into their dirty little pockets any longer so i packed up and went to live in France.LOVED-it...... was like opening a window and breathing for the first time in years.......... aahhhhhhhh ....... it was bliss.I was the leading role in my very own drive in life ... escapism is fantastic whilst it lasts but the NTs will ALWAYS drag you down in the end, because at the moment they run things.Maybe we should change all that ?

Maybe more going on here than I realised. Could be worth contacting Women's Aid?

I'll delete my posts if asked.

I am pretty much on my own, and the grass is always greener on the other side. As Martian Tom said, before his current disappearance, it's a dilemma between being cut off from people, and not being able to get on with them. When I was much younger, I did move to another city and intend to cut off all ties. It didn't last long.

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NT life

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their hoops

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making a mess of it

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such ties as family and relationships

These are generalisations. It may help to be more specific. Sorry, if that sounds rude.

I don't think cutting ties or burning bridges is a good idea. A holiday on your own might be a chance to experiment. There's that silly idea from Men are from Mars that men need a shed at the bottom of the garden more than women do. We all need autonomy and peace and creative time to ourselves, maybe just autistic people a bit more. I do need people, but they are unpredictable, so I'll accept whatever happens.

Thank you POTS (Protector of the small)

Like you, I suspect that being with others does not suit me, or them, and I'm often told Im getting it wrong. In terms of family, they cut me out.

The career is good, compensation for deficits in other areas x

Hope you're ok 

I don't think you give yourself enough credit. As far as i know you have a good career for a start, so you can definitely conform in some ways. Personally i haven't had a relationship for quite a long time and it does suit me. I feel a lot less anxious. But you might not want to sever ties with everyone as you might feel lonely. Probably don't make any hasty decisions as it could be more of a rough patch than a long term thing. Good luck with whatever you decide though. At least you'll still have everyone here!