Older women on the forum? Your early years?

I am glad your diagnosis has helped you.  It can help explain a lot of our past and aids understanding. 

1. I'm glad your diagnosis has helped, and that you have a supportive daughter.  Yes I feel that my latter years of life have been the best too.

Really good to read your story of being diagnosed late - I was diagnosed this year, at 60. Similar childhood and young adult life problems, also with some 1970s style abuse and neglect. However, I have been very lucky to have a wonderful grown up daughter, although not the happy marriage, but no matter now. I've always worked, despite all the seeming relentless challenges, got a degree in 'my special interest' and held down a good career for the last 24 years. These have been the best years. I used to go through life wondering why things seemed so easy for others socially, and suffered from bouts of depression. Although my recent diagnosis was a shock, (my daughter persuaded me to get it) it's been making me see all my past struggles in lots of light bulb moments. I was also ignorant about Autism, didn't know what it was really. Although the diagnosis hasn't wiped away the pain of my early life, I think it's really important to remember my struggles. I do feel increasingly accepting and better about myself already; it's as if I have more of my own 'voice' or agency now, rather than the voice I thought others expected. I'm beginning to feel it's a kind of late in life gift of insight.

hiya im 54 and found out last week im autistic with few adhd traits,im proccesing and rumminating a lot this week picking over the whole of my past life and replaying converstions,its extreamly tieiring and taking up a lot of my energy,

I had a boyfriend once who quoted that rhyme at me!

Hi I'm 67 and was informed of my neuro diversity by my GP 2 years ago

 When requesting an ADHD assessment I was told on the phone by a counsellor I was ASD according to my notes

I've had so many jobs and relationships.I struggled with appraisals etc, being told I'd been rude somehow now I read up on things I can finally understand why.   

I'm less stressed in retirement and have a male friend who I've shared my diagnosis with but I know we will never live together which makes me sad. I had children wi th my ex husband but felt unloved always as if life has passed me by.

I'm lucky to have adult children and grandchildren but always wanted friends. People I've been friendly with in the past include a neuro diverse woman who was alcohol dependent, and so was my best friend who died last year. I guess we gravitate towards each other.

Life's always been a struggle I have lived in over 30 houses! My current one since 2015. Sadly I'm coping by interacting less

Hi yes I'm 57 diagnosed 2018. 

Childhood pretty difficult at school, didn't fit in, communication problems , lonely and sad didn't understand myself,  neither did my family I was very different to them. Things have improved a lot now were all older.

Mental health problems always had anxiety due to masking, feeling odd and unaccepted and unloved. Got dangerously low. Turned to God and life improved a lot.

In my 40's realised I felt as if I had a learning disability with communication. 

Saw a TV programme and realised its autism. 

Eventually got diagnosed. 

Managed to be happily married had children now grown up and have young grandchildren. Still have problems with friend making and communication. 

Have managed a career and still working part time.

Hello, I'm 42 and just recently (in the last few months) have been exploring the possibility of being on the spectrum with my therapist. I have been in and out of therapy for years for "anxiety" which we are discovering may actually be 'over stimulation." In my early years, I was very very shy, absolutely loved school, and was obsessed with playing the piano. I much preferred talking with my teachers than with peers. I had a few collections (cat trinkets, stitching, stamps). Some things that really stuck out to me were a few times I ran out of the house, how my mom described me at times as hysterical, monster, or like the poem "There once was a girl with a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid." That was me for sure. Very very good at times; and completely terrible at other times. I felt like (and still do feel like) there is a constant fireball inside of me just waiting to be released. 

thank you for this great history that shares so many detains fro so many of us.

Hello there,

I'm in my early sixties, and I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that an autism description fits me very well, having had social anxiety all of my life.   It's really interesting to read others experiences and how varied they are.  Not sure whether to pursue a diagnosis though, can't see the benefits.

I remember at primary school I was not interested in socialising with others, but used to really enjoy going round the playground picking up the old rusty kirby grips that always were between the paving stones.  I would join in skipping or hopscotch or something else if asked, but would be as happy playing solo hopscotch.   As I also had severe asthma and eczema (the drugs to control asthma well did not exist in my day and allergy testing was not really a thing then) any social issues I had were put down to that.  I much preferred sitting quietly with the adults when we had friends round.  School was great. You knew what you had to do and when.  Just didn't have any friends on the same wavelength as me, they were all swooning about David Cassidy or Donny Osmond.  I pretended to like Sweet and (Oh Horror) Gary Glitter.  Didn't have much problem with bullies, mainly because they could not get me to react so soon gave up, although they were persistent at times.  I must have been very detached.  Still am.

Also learned very early how to mask, after all, it is just a set of accceptable reactions to different situations, a bit like learning a part in a play, or how to do maths.  I remember at a birthday party about age 11? being given an Enid Blyton book which was far below my reading level and pretending to be delighted with it.  I also remember the other kids at the party laughing at the present, which I did not undestand and thought they were very rude.

Growing older, I played a lot of card games, learned so many variations of patience.  Of course, once computer games came along..........  Read books but often one book over and over again, or all the books by one author.  Preferred factual to stories, my parents offered to buy Jackie for me, but I chose a factual mag instead, Treasure I think it was?.  I tried going to rock concerts usually on my own, but always ended up on the loo in tears for no reason, looking back I think of that as a panic attack of some sort but I really didn't understand it then.

Now worrying about how to conclude this post without it sounding to abrupt but will just go with it anyway.

I like 3D Mahjong, myself, and Go and Gomoku.

Hi Pixiefox

I'm mostly fixated on Minecraft but I bought Assassin's Creed Mirage a few days ago. I'm not very good at the hand to hand combat bits but I enjoy the stealth bits. I've played all the assassins creed games. I think black flag was my favourite and Valhalla was my least favourite. It makes me smile when young people are surprised to see a 63 year old nana playing these games. They think video games are a young persons thing. Oddly enough I was young once! I just never grew out of gaming :) 

Inula

Hi Inula

I'm 60+ and also enjoy playing video games. My favourites are Sims 4, Fallout 4, Assassins creed Valhalla, Origins & Odyssey, and Hogwarts Legacy. 

Hi Uhane, I'm in my early sixties and had no idea I was on the spectrum until my mid fifties. Thank you for sharing your experiences in your profile.

As a child I lived in my own world a lot. Had an imaginary friend pre-school. Once I learned to read I escaped into fiction as much as possible. Was described as a "daydreamer" during primary school years and a quiet student who hardly spoke in class when I was in secondary school. Hated school and did not reach my potential - have learned more and gained more qualifications since leaving school, mostly distance learning.

I loved to draw, colour, sing, and build with Lego as a child, and was sent to ballroom dancing classes which I enjoyed and which I think helped my co-ordination, as I've always been a bit clumsy. I collected dolls and model horses, but dont remember playing with them much. I taught myself to play rhythm guitar when I was 11. I was also interested in animals and nature. I didn't have many friends and wasn't usually invited to parties, and on the couple of times I did get party invitations when I was at school, I became too sick with worry to attend.

I met my husband when I was 16 and we are still together. During my adult life my interests have included music, reading, sci-fi, art & design, fashion, social sciences and nutrition & health. I'm now interested in the differences between Autistic and Neurotypical minds, still love to read, and enjoy playing video games on my Xbox.

We GO us pirate sirens! 

"A dismal and rebellious disappointment" - I love that! 

You can use any name that you like - so it might be to do with your interests, or a part of the world you love, or the name of a book or film character... anything at all!  Re my 'name' - VikingMermaid - it's a combination of my ancestry and my love of wild swimming :)

Hope you find the confidence to choose some sort of handle (code name) in due course, but only when it's right for you.

HI. Perhaps it's time to start one! If you are full time perhaps something that can wedge in between your schedule easily?

thanks for chipping into the game! I have little time at the moment but will be back later in the day or Firday..

I am 59 years old & I live in Cumbria.

I was diagnosed as autistic 9 years ago and ADHD about 7 years ago, and it has been a roller coaster journey ever since to be honest.

My main issue is that I am currently working full-time but based at home.  This started in 2020 as a Covid response but now it is apparently the new 'normal'.  I have very little human interaction on a daily basis, apart from my hubby who works from home 3 days a week.

I have tried to find local social groups but most seem to be for 'young adults' perhaps up to the age of maybe 30.  I feel I would have little in common with that age group and crave peer contact.  It is now getting to the stage when I get severe anxiety spikes when I try and do something outside of the house on my own.

Is there scope to find a way to create a specific list of social groups who encourage participation from older autistic women?