Childhood pretty difficult at school, didn't fit in, communication problems , lonely and sad didn't understand myself, neither did my family I was very different to them. Things have improved a lot now were all older.
Mental health problems always had anxiety due to masking, feeling odd and unaccepted and unloved. Got dangerously low. Turned to God and life improved a lot.
In my 40's realised I felt as if I had a learning disability with communication.
Saw a TV programme and realised its autism.
Eventually got diagnosed.
Managed to be happily married had children now grown up and have young grandchildren. Still have problems with friend making and communication.
Have managed a career and still working part time.
Really good to read your story of being diagnosed late - I was diagnosed this year, at 60. Similar childhood and young adult life problems, also with some 1970s style abuse and neglect. However, I have been very lucky to have a wonderful grown up daughter, although not the happy marriage, but no matter now. I've always worked, despite all the seeming relentless challenges, got a degree in 'my special interest' and held down a good career for the last 24 years. These have been the best years. I used to go through life wondering why things seemed so easy for others socially, and suffered from bouts of depression. Although my recent diagnosis was a shock, (my daughter persuaded me to get it) it's been making me see all my past struggles in lots of light bulb moments. I was also ignorant about Autism, didn't know what it was really. Although the diagnosis hasn't wiped away the pain of my early life, I think it's really important to remember my struggles. I do feel increasingly accepting and better about myself already; it's as if I have more of my own 'voice' or agency now, rather than the voice I thought others expected. I'm beginning to feel it's a kind of late in life gift of insight.
