Driving

She won't use a scooter, it will be near impossible for her to get to places of work since she has to travel to multiple places. 

She seems ok today but is only willing to drive if she has someone with her, which is not going to be possible if she is going to work. I'm hoping she will sort everything out but I believe her anxiety with leaving school, working, little structure is really not helping her. 

FH said:

Calling a trans man “he” would be “correct” wouldn’t it? (Assuming they use traditional pronoun associated with that gender) 

You are correct - I got the sexes mixed here - I meant a male assigned at birth who is transitioning.

Thanks for correcting me.

What about a scooter?

We have 20mph speed limits in built up areas, a lot of people hate it, really really hate it and say it takes to long to get anywhere. Personally I love it, it makes driving so much more restful. We also have lots of single track roads, with no real passing places, they're national speed limit, but in reality it's crazy to above 25mph as you never know what numpty's coming round a bend. We get clots of cyclists on these little roads, they never stop, just head down and peddling, they're a menace, so much so that many farmers drive round with thier baling spikes down, trying to catch some.

The idea of a black box is to reduce insurance premiums, and for an 18 Year old without one prices can be brutal.
Speeding is not " cool  " and it devestates Many Family's on a Daily basis.
The limits are in place to protect other road users and pedestrian's from fatal collision's, and giving those who are hit a chance of 
survival. Death by dangerous driving always results in a prison sentence.
As far as a bmw, many if not most insureres will not insure an 18 Year old who they believe is a liability.

A friend's daughter had a black box and the car had a sticker on the back with words to the effect "I've got a black box so I'm just as annoyed as you at having to go this slow"

It's not easy when people are being impatient behind you, it's crates anxiety, but at the end of the day they are the ones at fault not the person staying within the limit....

Iain said:

You break a social rule (eg calling a trans man "he") then expect repercissions

Calling a trans man “he” would be “correct” wouldn’t it? (Assuming they use traditional pronoun associated with that gender) 

Thank God I don't have her coverage. Maintaining a speed limit, in a built-up area, is sheer purgatory; for me.

Have you thought of legal advice, on the issue?

Hi, The black box will only be fitted for a set period, the only good side to it is that she hasn’t been caught by a camera. For the first 2 years new drivers only need to get 6 points to be disqualified. I can understand how she feels but changing car won’t help, I don’t think an insurance company would even insure a young driver with a high performance car. I did think about a classic car for one of my sons but then decided against it as they have no ABS, air bags or crumple zones.

For a long time I drove a series of Beemer 5 series' all with the small 2.0 litre engine. That was all beemer but without much in the way of speed and acceleration.  

Get rid of the black box! 

ONE way I'd consider for my daughter (if she needed it) would be to buy myself a huge classic car that both me and my daughter like, then insure it cheap (last time I used it about 10 years ago my classic 4.0 litre Daimler was 300 quid a year, when my daughters insurance in a non classic tiny car was over a thousand) and put her on the policy as a named driver..

A classic landrover is a traditionally slow vehicle, you can drive those at slow speeds without annoying people. I bought a huge van which I found I was happy to drive slowly in, but the tiny car I usually drive is terryfying to drive at the posted speed limits in some situations. 

I have come to believe that vehicle insurance has morphed into a covert means of controlling the motorists behaviour and even selection of vehicle type, overall, probably to help push us all onto electric vehicles. Not that I mind electric vehicles per-se but curently they are powered by a really nasty and (technically speaking) perfidious lithium battery technolgy, AND becuase of teh way they delievr their power, apparenltly they are hard on their tyres and thus produce more of that environmental impact. 

ParentingAutism said:

I personally do not know what to do anymore.

On a practical note:

If she has any mechanical ability then she could consider a classic car - these tend to have lower insurance costs, plenty of street cred and are typically easier to maintain than more modern cars.

On a parentine note:

I would use the situation as a learning lesson with her - teach her that it doesn't matter her opinion of the rules - they are there and need to be followed or there are likely to be consequences. If she didn't follow the speed limit then she knew the black box would alert so it was a stupid choice to make and she needs to pay the price now.

Without consequences people will not follow the rules. We don't get to make them so the choices are typically fairly black and white.

You break a traffic law, you get a fine and possibly points

You break a criminal law, expect prosecution by the police.

You break a social rule (eg calling a trans man "he") then expect repercissions (in this case from social media, your community or whatever social group you mix in)

ParentingAutism said:

She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads

I don't believe for a minute she thinks that they "rule" when driven slowly. They are typically performance cars so will make her want to go fast.

My opinion here is that she has clearly not learned her lesson.

All that said, the best thing is probably to let her make her own mistakes and she may eventually learn from them - all in my opinion of course.