Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter, 18, loves driving, but unfortunately her insurance has been cancelled because her blackbox caught her speeding. Now I don't condone the speed she was doing but this road is quiet and it starts off at 50 then goes down to 40. Everyone speeds down there because it is a straight, quiet road and is so hard to stick to the limit.
She has just paid for a different insurance but is now refusing to drive altogether because of the black box. She says that no one sticks to the limit and where we live it is mainly straight national-speed limit roads with forest on the opposite side. When she does the speed limit she feels so anxious and on edge because she feels pressured by drivers behind her because they try to overtake and make gestures at her. She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads" therefore she can stick to the speed limit and think nothing of it.
I personally do not know what to do anymore. Driving makes her happy overall but drivers are knocking her confidence. If anyone has any ideas, please please please let me know.
ParentingAutism said:I personally do not know what to do anymore.
On a practical note:
If she has any mechanical ability then she could consider a classic car - these tend to have lower insurance costs, plenty of street cred and are typically easier to maintain than more modern cars.
On a parentine note:
I would use the situation as a learning lesson with her - teach her that it doesn't matter her opinion of the rules - they are there and need to be followed or there are likely to be consequences. If she didn't follow the speed limit then she knew the black box would alert so it was a stupid choice to make and she needs to pay the price now.
Without consequences people will not follow the rules. We don't get to make them so the choices are typically fairly black and white.
You break a traffic law, you get a fine and possibly points
You break a criminal law, expect prosecution by the police.
You break a social rule (eg calling a trans man "he") then expect repercissions (in this case from social media, your community or whatever social group you mix in)
ParentingAutism said:She says she wants a bmw because they "rule the roads
I don't believe for a minute she thinks that they "rule" when driven slowly. They are typically performance cars so will make her want to go fast.
My opinion here is that she has clearly not learned her lesson.
All that said, the best thing is probably to let her make her own mistakes and she may eventually learn from them - all in my opinion of course.
Iain said:You break a social rule (eg calling a trans man "he") then expect repercissions
Calling a trans man “he” would be “correct” wouldn’t it? (Assuming they use traditional pronoun associated with that gender)
FH said:Calling a trans man “he” would be “correct” wouldn’t it? (Assuming they use traditional pronoun associated with that gender)
You are correct - I got the sexes mixed here - I meant a male assigned at birth who is transitioning.
Thanks for correcting me.