Should we force it

Sports teachers are the very worst bullies in a school - facts 

Amerantin said:

and eventually a kindly teacher tried to 121 me, even just getting me to sit under a shower to get used to the sensation of water.

This is outrageous and is a clear admission that they knew they were doing wrong - this must come out in court and the school must be sued in order to teach them a lesson they must never be allowed to forget - legal action against the school is highly recommended in the public interest, in order to prevent other children from having to endure the same horrific experience, regardless of whether or not it is a “disciplinary issue” - it’s the only way that these people will learn the lesson that their bullying behaviour, child cruelty and child torture will not be tolerated - on issues like this, we must develop and adopt an absolute zero tolerance and zero patience mindset, we must be radical and millitant in rooting out such abusive behaviour which is never acceptable in a supposedly civilised society - just look at how radical action has ensured rights and equality for LGBT people - abusers must never be appeased 

This school policy must be robustly challenged and defeated by every means possible, including in the media and in the courts - in actuality it is bullying of children by the school and is child torture under the guise of school “discipline” and this is the very kind of corruption in the education system that must be exposed and opposed at every level - it comes from a point blank refusal to understand mental health issues and disabilities and in this instance, ignorance from an education provider (who should know better) is not an excuse - this kind of cruelty must be exposed - the only way to educate these people is by exposing their corruption, their dishonesty and their hypocrisy and their actions must carry severe consequences 

This child must not be forced into this, having read a few posts on this on here - and it’s a thundering disgrace and it is outrageous that these schools have “mandatory” swimming lessons, which in actuality is child torture - it feeds into the whole mindset and attitude that children with mental health issues and disabilities can be “cured” of same by ultra-strict milltary style discipline “a square peg into a round hole” because it is deemed on a “common sense” basis that they are “misbehaving” and it shows that there is a point blank refusal to understand the reality of same - it reminds me of a story I’ve heard about the US Marines where they shove recruits into the water when they are afraid of water, brutalising them for life - my advice is to fight and challenge these policies by every means possible, including legally, including in the papers, name and shame the schools, headmasters and teachers involved, because this is a moral and ethical issue - this is how bullying starts in a supposedly civilised society and it must be “nipped in the Bud” 

He loves swimming and is usually keen to go at. the weekend but has times where he doesn’t want to to go. 

Thank you, I will keep talking to him about the class he was originally going to. The weekend classes seem to have long waiting lists 

Hi, My instinct would be to let it go and not force it. There could be many reasons why he didn't want to go but it's actually quite positive that he is able to say that it is too overwhelming and that he doesn't want to go. I think it is probably a good idea to honour that. It is really important to learn to listen to what you need and to your energy levels and ability to cope with change and stressful situations, of course we can't avoid everything but pushing yourself too much to fit in or please others is one factor that can in the long term lead to burnout and exhaustion. Another factor could be that the school day itself is very exhausting (it can be really overwhelming especially for autistic individuals). Does he still want to go on the weekend? Does he enjoy swimming? Do you want him to go swimming so that he knows how to swim and will be safer?  I wouldn't force it but of course I don't know your son. 

NAS75657 said:

My Son who’s seven was due to have his first swimming lesson after school today.  He’s had lessons before but always weekends. This is the first time he’s gone out after school, he rarely has before. Despite me preparing him that he was going swimming after school, he got anxious and refused to go. Should we have made him go or would it just create anxiety in the future? 

Hi 

I had the exact same thing accept my son had moved up a group, his new teacher was quite loud and abrupt. I contacted the lady who is the head swimming coach and explained my son struggles with change and that he hadn’t really taken to his new coach. We changed to a different night with someone he was super comfortable with but it still took quite a few times to get him back into it. Swimming pools are a funny one really, I struggle with the ambient noise and really can’t concentrate. It could be a sensory thing for him as well. 

Like many others here I had mandatory swimming lessons and hated them, the cholrine in the water irritated my skin and I'd spend the rest of the evening covered in calamine lotion trying to not scratch myself raw. We were put in the "baby" pool, and being a tall child it wasn't deep enough for me. What I learned was that I swim like a brick, sports teachers are bullies and that I'm prone to contact dermatitis which has only got worse the older I've become.

It sounds like this is more to do with a change of routine than not wanting to swim. I really struggle with changes to routine and my early morning and evening routines are my most important - I have to do exactly the same processes from about 7pm onwards, if my dinner is late because I had to do something else first, that would be very difficult to deal with. Could you find another pool that does weekend lessons? If not, maybe keep talking to him about it and let him know that he can chose whether to go or not. Usually I will refuse to change my routines but if I have enough time to process that change and I have enough control over it, I sometimes manage to accept the change. I really wouldn't push it, it could cause additional anxiety and trauma for the future. 

As long as it’s his decision and he’s happy, that’s what matters 

Ann :) said:

my mum wrote excuses claiming I was recovering from a cold or had my period and couldn’t go swimming at school- so I managed to skip almost all classes

Your mum was a God-send in this respect.

I'm glad for the younger you

I know as he’s had weekend lessons before but the teacher stopped doing them 

Thanks. If it was a weekend lesson he’d be fine, I know it 

Debbie said:

I was told by my swimming teacher to put my head in a bucket of water each night to familiarise myself with the water on my face which then led to me being every more afraid/wary of water.

God yes. They made me sit in a bath and put my face in the water.

<shudder>

I was lucky - my mum wrote excuses claiming I was recovering from a cold or had my period and couldn’t go swimming at school- so I managed to skip almost all classes (i did know how to swim but just really hated it at school and could barely see without glasses, struggled to get dressed etc after, hate being in water). I did fail sports though one year but my mum didn’t care 

Amerantin said:

mandatory swimming lessons that they wouldn’t let me out of.

Your experience mirrors mine - I was told by my swimming teacher to put my head in a bucket of water each night to familiarise myself with the water on my face which then led to me being even more afraid/wary of water.

As I had very thick glasses by then, you'd have thought someone might have caught onto the fact that not being able to see anything didn't help either - in fact, it made me a lot more panicky.

Amerantin said:

if I had a Time Machine I’d go back and flatten everyone involved.

LOL.

Me too.

Right, this is close to my heart.

My parents took me to swimming lessons when I was around seven and the sounds, smells and sensations completely overwhelmed me and scared the crap out of me.

My folks gave up after a few weeks.

But then in year 6 and 7 the school had mandatory swimming lessons that they wouldn’t let me out of. It caused me immense stress and anxiety and eventually a kindly teacher tried to 121 me, even just getting me to sit under a shower to get used to the sensation of water. I was repeatedly in trouble with the headmaster because of my non-compliance.

More than 40 years later I still will not get in the water never mind swim. The school caused me real trauma. if I had a Time Machine I’d go back and flatten everyone involved.

TLDR: do not force him