My four year old daughter has 35/40 on Tania A marshell M. Sc warning signs of preschool girls with high functioning aspergers. It's been three months since I had an incling and 5 days since I was 90% sure. I don't know what to do, everything I read online is about how to support boys and girls symptoms are completely different. Any advice at all would be appreciated. Any words of wisdom. Any hope. Thankyou
There is no answer as such, not a one size fits all anyway. The best thing you can do for you and your daughter is treat her as an individual like anybody else. Every person is different and a person with Aspergers is exactly that, a person. Learn to understand her impairments and how they are triggered, for example how is she with communication and how are you at communicating with her? Sometimes what you might think is an obvious question isn’t to us aspies and what might seem a difficult one to you is obvious to us. Depending on how difficult she finds things you can use play or pictures to help. If she is only four you are ahead of the game if it’s been identified now, so enjoy your time together and get to know your little girl.
I think the basic thing to understand is that most of us find chaos and unpredictability to be very stressful.
The outside world and school are chaos for us so try to make home life as simple, calm and as predictable as possible. Routines and calm allow us to decompress from the stress of the day having to play the 'life game'. If she's a bit wound up when she comes home from the day's activities, make no demands of her until the brain is back in the room. The simple routine of coming home, tea, playing/tv/reading to her until the stress evaporates will be very important.
Any rules and decisions you make for her must be sensible and logical and explainable so she can absolutely trust your constant predictability so her home life can be stress free and her safe haven.
The more supportive and predictable the home life is, the more she will be able to face the world.
As she grows, other kids get more complicated so relationships may be a mystery for her because the rules are changing every day - and when they hit puberty, other girls can be horrible to each other - she will need a lot of support and to have a strong personality to weather that.
The more gentle and controlled socialiing that she can do will pre-arm her for life. Try things like cubs when she's old enough so she gets to play with a different set of boys and girls for short periods evey week.
Be very attentive to her energy levels - and when you see she is struggling, be prepared to give her to option to get out & go home so she can relax & decompress.
There's a balance to making sure she attacks the world and is robust and able to move forward - and being sensitive to her running out of energy and needing to withdraw to recharge.
I ‘knew’ from my son being around 3 but our GP wouldn’t refer to assessment pathway until he was 6. Yours may be different. Discuss your concerns with tour GP and they will be able to point you in the right direction of support etc and/or the assessment pathway.
Good luck x
Hi, have pre-school/ school noticed anything? I would not be surprised if they haven't girls can be quite adept at hiding things.
Try this online test it can help you identify if she may be on the spectrum
I would then recommend speaking to gp/health visitor if you are sure and ask for referral for assessment don't let them fob you off!
As plastic has said it is really important to allow her time to decompress after activities or anything she finds stressful a nice quiet area with things to relax her will help.
Keep behaviour logs to learn her stressors and work on reducing/ removing if possible. Watch for stims these can really help identify how she is feeling.
Visual timetables are good as they help with routine
The school hasn't noticed anything but this isn't there strong point. I took your online test and she scored 21/31 but I don't know what they s means. I will try to keep behaviour logs and I made a timetable a couple of days ago, this seems to be helping her. Tha k you.
Hello, my health visitor has been out for an assessment and I have a meeting with senco at the school today. I an not so fussed about diagnosis. I just want her to get the relevant support, as if I know what that is. Thankyou for your reply x
People are often locked out of getting any support until there's a formal diagnosis - the powers that be need something solid for a budget request.
The scoring on that test is anything over 15 should be considered for referral, I would recommend pursuing diagnosis, we weren't to bothered when our daughter was younger now are struggling to get assessment as she is good at masking which is bad for her.
Diagnosis also means that she can access further support if she needs it.
Good luck with the school
Hello, thankyou for your very helpful response. I will try and ensure she has a calm steady homelofe and routine. I'm gonna try my best. Thanks
Do you know any good resources about specifically young girls with aspergers/ Autism? And I will be fighting its just hard.