Looking in the eyes

I have hazel eyes and they can appear green in some lights, brown in others and even have a blue-ish tone in some lights, it also depends on what colour I'm wearing.

I thought of something else. I learned that I can actually stare people down. This sounds a bit contradictory to my earlier post, but it is not.

I suppose that it is a bit like keeping your arm still for an injection, while you really want to pull it away.

I can't think when I do this. I've not done it in a long time. I worked with someone once who would stare people down as a domination tactic. He annoyed me, so I took him on. The childish thing is is that he had more respect for me after. It's just a good job, that I didn't have to speak while doing this.

I look into a mirror to comb my hair but don’t really make eye contact with myself, I struggle to identify with myself, I’ve never really liked the person I see, as a child I was told off for not making eye contact, I was told on quite a few occasions by my father that people who don’t make eye contact are untrustworthy and shouldn’t be trusted. It turns out that autistic people are actually very trustworthy.

I watched an article on breakfast Tv a couple of weeks ago, the subject was about teachers having less actual teaching time per day, the pupils can do some coursework at home. The child expert argued that children go to school to be taught things like good behaviour and eye contact. Every time I think the world is making progress, someone does something ignorant to crush that thought.

I love that you're enjoying looking at your own eyes, though it's not something I particularly do. (When I look in the mirror I just see all the things "wrong" with my face.) Eye contact with others is something that I always thought I did, but when I got my diagnosis through, the report made a point of saying that I only used it "for emphasis", which has subsequently made me quite self-conscious about it and thinking about it now, I have probably learned to do this for masking purposes. "Penetrating your soul" is a good way of describing the feeling.

This is a strange one for me. I think I may have taught myself to mask eye contact but only when someone is speaking to me. However, when I am speaking I will look everywhere but at the eyes of the person as it puts me off balance. When I am thinking and concentrating when I speak to someone my eyes can roll. Not the best for engaging in NT conversations. It is almost as my eyes are rolling as I search  for the words to use.

This is the reason I have been described as being aloof, uncaring and disinterested when in the most I am not.

Eye contact was one of the first things I noticed I lacked in.

I don’t tend to use the mirror too much and have always struggled with that from a very young age. I can stand well away from them and look but not close up. 

I have on occasion looked into my own eyes (I have blue / grey) but this is still uncomfortable to do. 

I can look into others eyes if they are not looking at me, as soon as they look I look away. I have tried so hard to make eye contact but it feels like I’m running out of breath and that’s a feeling I get when a panic attack starts. For that reason I don’t force myself to do it. 

My wife thinks I’m not listening when I’m not making eye contact, it’s the opposite though as I can’t find the words to say when looking at her.

I have been doing some experiments with this one of late, actually.

I ask my companions to help me, that I am working on eye contact to see what's it all about.

So far I've found that the eyes alone are unreadable but I can read very well tone of voice and gesture for lies and

sincerity, nervousness etc. The eyes do add a layer of reciprocal regard to the exchange.

There is almost too much info when I include the eyes in my cognitive scan of time/space. 

It is far easier to make eye contact now with some people I have grown to trust. It takes time to come to that trust, but it is very rewarding for them to have the feedback from it. If someone I trust lies at some point I revert back to avoiding the eyes and want to run away.

It is not nearly as scary if I tell my companion beforehand that "for this chat, I would like to practice eye contact". They enjoy it as a game and are far more sincere. I rarely look at myself unless I am painting a self portrait - but with that it feels like another person from myself.

I can look someone I don't know well in the eye if I am painting or photographing them.

The subject is subsumed in it's role as a subject.

Yes! And, I think being able to make the doll clothes would be a dream come true for her! Love and lack of aggression are the absolute best things for a child.

Same here, generally I can stare at someone and even study the shape and color of their eyes, observe how they behave when they speak, I watch it like kind of movie or soap opera, but whenever the person looks back at me - I look away and unable to make a proper eye contact when they are looking me in my eyes. The closer the person is the more painful it feels. It’s not a big issue with my husband because he doesn’t mind having a conversation when sitting or walking side by side and not looking into each others eyes at all but I feel it may be an issue with my daughter. Unfortunately I also find it uncomfortable to look my little daughter in the eyes. When I speak to her I make short eye contact and then I look at her mouth or nose or whole face generally. I hug her and kiss her cheeks and forehead and I speak to her I’m never aggressive I’m doing my best to be a good mother. 

I have a strange relationship with eyes. Eyes are the main thing that I find attractive about people. My tragedy is that I can't look at them with any comfort. My wife has big beautiful blue eyes, and yet I still look away or look at the bridge of her nose when talking to her. I sneak proper looks when she is not looking at me.

I have a funnier relationship with mirrors because I do not use them. (I did in my teens when my hair was a bit of an obsession - but that was almost like 'special interest' wanting to look like a favourite band member than vanity). 

I was in a pub once where the bar was in the middle of the room. I thought that it was at the side and was mirrored. I commented to a friend about the mirror and they said - isn't it obvious that it's not a mirror because you are not in the reflection? I hadn't noticed my absence. I think a psychologist would read all sorts into that, but I think that it's just because I use them for their purpose so little.

I think that you have inspired me to have a look when I get home to study what my own eyes look like 

I was obsessed with looking at myself, in the mirror, when I was younger. However, I stopped doing that; out of self-consciousness.

Now, I'm no longer photogenic.