Published on 12, July, 2020
My discovery journey helps me realise some things about myself. And here is what I noticed about the eye contact. While it’s uncomfortable with others, I noticed that I actually like looking into my own eyes in a mirror. I also noticed, that they are actually not blue, as I was always told. Depending on the light they change colors. I can see it in the mirror and photos. Sometimes they are blue like a lagoon sometimes grey but often also green. In the dim warm bathroom light they are green. How about others here? Do you also like looking into your own eyes in the mirror? My own eyes are the only one that don’t penetrate my soul. Others - do, and it’s painful or at least unpleasant. If anyone likes to take part in the discussion and share thoughts or experience, I will be grateful and happy.
I have been doing some experiments with this one of late, actually.
I ask my companions to help me, that I am working on eye contact to see what's it all about.
So far I've found that the eyes alone are unreadable but I can read very well tone of voice and gesture for lies and
sincerity, nervousness etc. The eyes do add a layer of reciprocal regard to the exchange.
There is almost too much info when I include the eyes in my cognitive scan of time/space.
It is far easier to make eye contact now with some people I have grown to trust. It takes time to come to that trust, but it is very rewarding for them to have the feedback from it. If someone I trust lies at some point I revert back to avoiding the eyes and want to run away.
It is not nearly as scary if I tell my companion beforehand that "for this chat, I would like to practice eye contact". They enjoy it as a game and are far more sincere. I rarely look at myself unless I am painting a self portrait - but with that it feels like another person from myself.
I can look someone I don't know well in the eye if I am painting or photographing them.
The subject is subsumed in it's role as a subject.