Published on 12, July, 2020
My discovery journey helps me realise some things about myself. And here is what I noticed about the eye contact. While it’s uncomfortable with others, I noticed that I actually like looking into my own eyes in a mirror. I also noticed, that they are actually not blue, as I was always told. Depending on the light they change colors. I can see it in the mirror and photos. Sometimes they are blue like a lagoon sometimes grey but often also green. In the dim warm bathroom light they are green. How about others here? Do you also like looking into your own eyes in the mirror? My own eyes are the only one that don’t penetrate my soul. Others - do, and it’s painful or at least unpleasant. If anyone likes to take part in the discussion and share thoughts or experience, I will be grateful and happy.
This is a strange one for me. I think I may have taught myself to mask eye contact but only when someone is speaking to me. However, when I am speaking I will look everywhere but at the eyes of the person as it puts me off balance. When I am thinking and concentrating when I speak to someone my eyes can roll. Not the best for engaging in NT conversations. It is almost as my eyes are rolling as I search for the words to use.
This is the reason I have been described as being aloof, uncaring and disinterested when in the most I am not.