Published on 12, July, 2020
My discovery journey helps me realise some things about myself. And here is what I noticed about the eye contact. While it’s uncomfortable with others, I noticed that I actually like looking into my own eyes in a mirror. I also noticed, that they are actually not blue, as I was always told. Depending on the light they change colors. I can see it in the mirror and photos. Sometimes they are blue like a lagoon sometimes grey but often also green. In the dim warm bathroom light they are green. How about others here? Do you also like looking into your own eyes in the mirror? My own eyes are the only one that don’t penetrate my soul. Others - do, and it’s painful or at least unpleasant. If anyone likes to take part in the discussion and share thoughts or experience, I will be grateful and happy.
I love that you're enjoying looking at your own eyes, though it's not something I particularly do. (When I look in the mirror I just see all the things "wrong" with my face.) Eye contact with others is something that I always thought I did, but when I got my diagnosis through, the report made a point of saying that I only used it "for emphasis", which has subsequently made me quite self-conscious about it and thinking about it now, I have probably learned to do this for masking purposes. "Penetrating your soul" is a good way of describing the feeling.