Published on 12, July, 2020
My discovery journey helps me realise some things about myself. And here is what I noticed about the eye contact. While it’s uncomfortable with others, I noticed that I actually like looking into my own eyes in a mirror. I also noticed, that they are actually not blue, as I was always told. Depending on the light they change colors. I can see it in the mirror and photos. Sometimes they are blue like a lagoon sometimes grey but often also green. In the dim warm bathroom light they are green. How about others here? Do you also like looking into your own eyes in the mirror? My own eyes are the only one that don’t penetrate my soul. Others - do, and it’s painful or at least unpleasant. If anyone likes to take part in the discussion and share thoughts or experience, I will be grateful and happy.
Eye contact was one of the first things I noticed I lacked in.
I don’t tend to use the mirror too much and have always struggled with that from a very young age. I can stand well away from them and look but not close up. I have on occasion looked into my own eyes (I have blue / grey) but this is still uncomfortable to do.
I can look into others eyes if they are not looking at me, as soon as they look I look away. I have tried so hard to make eye contact but it feels like I’m running out of breath and that’s a feeling I get when a panic attack starts. For that reason I don’t force myself to do it.
My wife thinks I’m not listening when I’m not making eye contact, it’s the opposite though as I can’t find the words to say when looking at her.