Why are some people so horrible?

Stuff like this just makes me want to screeeeaaaammm. I can't have children and have been grieving that fact a LOT in recent years (it really is proper grief) . Stories of people mistreating their own children bring it home how unfair the universe can be.

On the plus side, when seeing the discussion about the Stanford Experiments here, I was reminded of the fact that autistic people are MORE likely than NT people to speak up about injustices to other people (Sadly less likely to speak up about injustice to themselves.) I like to think that a lot of us would have actually done well in the Stanford Experiment if we were jailers.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../are-autistic-people-more-likely-to-speak-up-at-work

People who do these things are deeply damaged and disturbed. They are suffering and they don’t know how to understand or deal with their suffering so they inflict suffering on others. Virtually human beings sometimes inflict their own suffering on others to a greater or lesser extent. Eg a man is worried that he can’t pay his rent so he shouts at his kids when they’re getting ready for school. It’s all a matter of degrees. In an ideal world everyone would grow up in a loving, kind family and a loving, safe society with no pain or illness etc and everyone would be happy. But life does inevitably involve some suffering and how people respond to that can be dysfunctional and even destructive. However the majority of people manage to still be (on the whole) fairly loving and decent. 
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed by these grim news stories - and to worry about the state of the world. But for every story of cruelty there are many stories of goodness too - and it’s important to have a ‘balanced diet’ when it comes to what we absorb from the media and the world around us. There ARE lots of wonderful, kind, loving and caring people in this world :) 

The purpose of Propaganda is to view the other side as inhuman. (Audos Huxley)

I notice that every time humans form a group there HAS to be a scapegoat in the group.

Someone who is in the group but held to be the exemplar that everyone has to be better than. Every time; School, football team, workplace, military (where it's REALLY obvious), village, family, it seems a universal basic human requirement.

The group will actually go to great lengths to preseve the "scapegoat" and limits the unpleasantness to tolerable levels, presumably so as not to have to select a new one from it's more respected or capable members. 

Until relatively recenlty, that used to be my customary role (Sometimes in more dynamic workplaces I was reserve scapegoat!) and whilst not glamourous or always pleasant, the role can still be played well and to one's advantage by a skilled and canny individual. 

Religion is a tool like a soldering iron, that can be used to effect a repair, or stab someone in the eye entirley dependent upon the nature of the person holding it.

As far as Christianity is concerned, the inquisition and crusades were artifacts of the people weilding it, and not really the product of Jesus's teaching. I personally feel I only need the instruction and examples contained in the single gospel of of matthew, and the prayer relationship I have with my creator, I ask for help to be a better part of the big plan, and I seem to get it. 

On a practical level, if there is a plan, a way things are designed then in order to allow us free will, the mechanism to prevent us excercising that free will, yet allow us to retain free will woudl have to be subtle and invisible to those of us who are unable to even conceive of there being a creation. Maybe such people seem to have a lot of "luck". 

As we get smarter (from my perspective, I don't expect many to agree with me!) or perhaps, "more able to perceve aspects or tendrils of the plan" when life suddenly seems to be getting "unexpectedly difficult" sometimes it's worth pondering am I supposed to be pursuing this course in my life? 

Of course, all this philosophising gets to be confusing after a while, and for me, quite tiring, and I need to take a rest from thinking and just do some mindless "acting". at such times I just act as "Christian" as I can manage, be as nice outwardly as I can, bite down on any anger and resentment I may be feeling and just do something useful, or, er, come and talk with my fellow 'spergs, aspies, Autists, etc...

It was the one where electric shocks were involved.... I did read about the standford one too which is truly sickening.

I think it all depends on what situation someone is put in as to the outcome which none of us can really predict because of our self delusions.  I know if anyone hurt my daughter, I'd be going to prison that's for sure!

Religion is an interesting concept used for many different agendas I think.....

IIRC, correctly tyo are talking about the standford prisoners and guards experiment...

Be careful here TS, you are pushing at the boundary of what humans are REALLY like versus our most poular self delusions... It can be quite a shock to teh system when you work out what really makes us tick.

FWIW The whole point of a life framework like Christianity isn't to look down on other people as "nasty sinners" liek our opponents alledge, but to give it's adherents some tools to rise above our more basic natures.

I watched something disturbing on youtube which I can't describe on here due to the rules but basically a father hurt his daughter for having a toilet accident so badly that she didn't survive.  He eventually was caught up with and jailed for life but the things he did and what he did after make me feel sick.  I unfortunately have this urge to try to understand WHY this can happen and what you described too.  I do know from research that many individuals have no empathy or feelings so do acts like this as a way to try to get feelings.  There was something I read that I don't remember what it's called where people were experimented on to see if they would develop into abusive but it was all stopped due to ethical reasons.  I can't detail again what it was due to the forum rules.  It was sickening and upsetting - I don't know why I am so drawn to trying to work this one out...... :-/

there are I share your pain as today is 7/7 we must always fight too defeat evil and good is winning overall

Spot on analysis. So much wisdom packed into very few words, particualrly the last bit.

If you were here, I'd offer you my cinnamon bun for that bit of writing.

(Fortunately you aren't, so NOM, NOM  )

For most people they have something which makes them feel displeasure when others are hurt. If that isn't there then you get people who torture animals or become serial killers etc.

In other cases it can just be anger making people behave irrationally, or the dehumanisation of others (particularly effective with terrorists and those committing genocide - if your opponents aren't people but vermin then it's easier to not care and think they deserve it).

I didn't treat the dog we had, growing up, to well. But I was too much like Lenny from Of Mice and Men; back then.

That's why I have a cat, instead. We mutually respect each other; yet still show each other love, and affection. Dogs need constant attention.

I grew up with a sibling that would hurt animals and people, which is why I stopped talking to them later in life. 

The animal made too much noise, got them angry, so they hurt the animal. The animal succumbed to it's injuries and passed away. Seeing this kind of thing when I was child made me terrified of this person. 

They'd also hurt people including me, blaming and taking out their anger on everyone. It was very terrifying to live with someone like that. They'd often shout profanities and cuss at people. Often think they are right and everyone else is wrong. They were very controlling and demanding. They often think to hurt others before others have a chance to hurt them. They often twist situations to their favor, winning at all costs, others be damned. They never want to be in the situation of being weak and hurt by others. But they take great joy in hurting the weak. They put themselves first above all others. 

But I am glad to discover that there are more good people in the world than bad, and not the oopposite.

Innocent animals and people being attacked is truly evil. No one deserves this kind of cruelty. 

I'm so sorry what your sister went through. Truly awful, I hope she is ok now. My sister in law had a very close call in 2001 during the 9/11 terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center. She was in the South Tower but luckily was on the lower floors and got out quickly unharmed. She still has nightmares about it. 

There are bad people in this world, those who show us the worst of humanity but there are many more good people and those are the ones to remember. The news is almost always focused on the bad stuff because bad news sells... I prefer to not watch the news it is far too depressing. 

I think that trying to understood what drives people to do such things is futile. When it isn't in our nature to behave that way, it's impossible to understand the mindset of people who do truly evil things.

As I've got older, I have found that when the news gets particularly depressing, I have to take a step back and switch off from it.

A book that provides a very full answer to yrou question is "people of the lie" by Dr M.Scott Peck.

Sometimes though, and I have seen this a LOT, in various places, (not just this forum) although there are seom wonderful examples provided by mebers occasionally, people appear to be being horrible, and offence is taken without justification.

Other people are always gonna be hard work for most of us....

(MInd you, I can be hard work for myself some days!

I don't understand how some people can be so wicked either and I don't want the sort of mind that could understand it either.

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister I hope she ok now. There are some horrible around I’m afraid my dog had 4 different owners before me and my parents took her on she was 14 months old. She was deaf born deaf almost got put down because she was deaf a healthy dog to be destroyed no aggression nothing. She will be 13 this year and after my mum passed away she my dog now and is still loved. My mum used to say there more good than evil in this world sadly it’s life there are bad people out there. 

I know. I go to great lengths to carry spiders outside (they don't bother me, but my wife sometimes need them to go!) I've been responsible for some housefly deaths, but anything bigger than that I just can't do. I've lost track of the number of bumblebees that I have saved.

I don't understand the Ariana Grande thing at all. Basically deliberately targeting kids. That sounds awful about your sister.

There are definitely good people! I even know some.

I break down sometimes at the newspaper horror baby stories because I can't have kids and lose it at the injustice of it all.

But there are good people!