Published on 12, July, 2020
I was talking to someone the other day as they haven't sought after a diagnosis for ASD as they didn't want to regret it later (as they thought an official diagnosis could limit their opportunities after university), and it got me thinking. I did not consider any of the potential issues after getting an official diagnosis, I just wanted some answers. Unlike them, I have had various mental health issues, and I've tried therapy many times to no avail. Obviously some mental health issues can be co-morbid of ASD and with how I am socially it should have been investigated when I was much younger. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's, fed up of wondering why therapy didn't seem to work for me but wanted to be "normal" I started to consider that I may be autistic. So I went after a diagnosis, which has allowed me to give up notion that one day I can be "normal" if I try hard enough, and I am okay with being different now (after getting over post diagnosis grief). So for me the diagnosis was worth potentially limiting my opportunities (even though I'm 99% sure it won't as my interests and ambitions are not effected as far as I know).
I was wondering what everyone else's experiences or opinions on the matter are?
it was difficult knowing that it wasn’t something that could be fixed and that my brain would always be this way but no I didn’t regret it.
No I don’t regret it I was 21 when I was diagnosed and it was like suddenly my life made more sense.
No i dont regret discovering that i am autistic. I now understand why i over react to some situations, i think its called emotional dysregulation. Why i push people away. Why i dont feel good enough. Why i have meltdowns. But i feel a fool for not knowing sooner. I now realise that i need medication to have any decent quality of life. It has been such a learning curve. I need to comfort myself and be kind to myself. I have a "boyfriend", we see each other once a week, all on his terms, he doesnt help with my confidence, but maybe i expect too much, but i have so many qualities, he is just not right for me x
Ben said:Lizard Queen, I have absolutely no regrets, knowledge has brought me so much relief.
I appreciate this community so much. I've not been here long but gaining so much knowledge and insight, really helps me with my own life stuff.
Shame you can't change the past but you can look forward to a bright future where you know yourself and can live as an autistic individual
Astridlora. Unfortunately, we can't change the past no matter how much we might like to, so we just have to deal with what we've got. Everyone's experience is different, but I feel that an early diagnosis must surely be an advantage.
Ben
I'm glad you found the answers in the end. Really positive that you achieved your diagnosis later in life.
Do you regret not being diagnosed earlier? I'm just curious, sorry if I'm sounding nosy.
I was diagnosed early but found I couldn't get help at school and it was a really confusing time for me as there was so much going on all at once. Something I wish a later diagnosis had happened instead of early.
Inula, I was sixty-seven when diagnosed so I understand you perfectly. Over the years, since the age of five, I'd seen many doctors, psychologists and on one occasion a psychiatrist, but all to very little avail.
Lizard Queen, I have absolutely no regrets, knowledge has brought me so much relief.
I only wish the perplexing mysteries of my life could have been solved a few years earlier.
Regrets?
Nope!
Getting a diagnosis was the best thing I've done in a long time! All my life I've felt out of place, different, broken, less than. Now I know I'm non of those things. Not broken or less than. Autistic. At long last I know that I'm not a bad or unlikeable person. The only regret I have is not knowing this very fundamental fact about myself for 62 years and now I do reflect back on my life and wonder what might I have achieved if I'd known and received a bit of help along the way.
Astridlora said:Wonderfully positive to read! I am very proud to be autistic as well. And proud to be a part of this group.
So glad you are proudly autistic too! For your information, Autistic Pride Day is on June 18th.
Evemisty14 said:I don't regret it at all, I am proud to be autistic!
Wonderfully positive to read! I am very proud to be autistic as well. And proud to be a part of this group.
At age 53, on balance, I don’t have regrets about getting a diagnosis, even though I had reservations about the true motivations of those who wanted me to get a diagnosis, where I had initially been reluctant to do so, especially given the lack of post diagnostic assessments for autistic adults, which in many respects is the gateway to accessing relevant and appropriate post-diagnostic support. For me, getting a post-diagnostic assessment is a huge issue for the reasons stated, as without it, how does one know what the most appropriate and relevant supports are, as it has the effect of limiting one’s ability to move forward. I firmly believe and maintain that this should be a focus of NAS future campaigns for the newly diagnosed, especially if diagnosed later in life. Without this, it does mean awkward conversations need to be had with jobcentre staff because one has no idea what one’s support needs are without this important benchmark
I was only diagnosed a year ago but so far, no, I don't regret it at all. I felt a sense of immense relief that a) I was right about myself after all, despite initially being refused assessment, and b) I really wasn't the lazy, selfish, rude person so many people had accused me of being.
By the time I was diagnosed I was in a job that's a very good fit for me and I've been able to disclose my autism with no negative impact on my employment, so perhaps I'm just very lucky. But on the other hand... the diagnosis is for the person getting it. They don't have to share it with anyone else if they think it will cause a problem.
That’s great! So am I!
Evemisty14 said:I have also realised that most of the negatives of autism are not actually down to the autism itself, but caused by how poeple react to us and treat us.
I completely agree!
I don't regret it at all, I am proud to be autistic! Being autistic can be hard but there are so many positives to it, to me its like a superpower!
I have also realised that most of the negatives of autism are not actually down to the autism itself, but caused by how poeple react to us and treat us.
I dont regret my diagnosis. Although my wife (who works in SEN in a school), has told me for years i am autistic. I used to think she was joking and just thought i was 'quirky' or selfish.
When i had a complete meltdown and couldnt work or drive i spoke to her and she told me she was never joking. I just wouldnt hear it. I sought my diagnosis and things now seem so obvious i couldnt believe i hadnt realised sooner.
I sometimes get the 'i told you so', but apart from that its all good.
I also get told i cant use it as an excuse, even though i dont feel like i do. So perhaps others sometimes feel that post diagnosis we should be able to moderate our autistic behaviours better than is possible. That is the only negative to my diagnosis. Sometimes i feel like shouting 'Just because i know doesnt mean im fixed!!!!!'
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It all depends on how life is going and how I'm coping at the time. I often wonder if I hadn't been diagnosed if I would be so greatly affected. I definitely wouldn't have been sectioned five times, I know that for sure.
Overall though the relief I got when I was first diagnosed is something I remember really well because it was the first time I felt I properly knew who I was and belonged in this world. It answered a lot for me and I'm so glad about that. I have some regrets, I think that's natural, but overall I am happy that I was diagnosed :)
I didn't ask them to expand on their belief that it would hinder them, perhaps I should have as it could have made a interesting conversation
I am glad the experience has been positive, and hasn't been a hinderance.
I am glad that it has helped you with getting access to MH care and that it's benefitted you in many ways. Thank you for sharing your experience