What do you like most about your home?

The simply fact it is familiar, comfortable and my cats are there.

Im glad you have that too Kate. It is so hard to find, I never dreamt I would be able to be myself with someone. 
Its hard to remember to count our blessings sometimes but it always helps our mental health when we do

I’m glad this resonates with you. I worry that my wording doesn’t lend itself to others seeing what I do sometimes, so it is nice when someone does

I agree and I think I talk about collections, both physical and thought based (e.g memories), as representations of myself. I love to collect things and display them, as you would in a cabinet and home is definitely like that for me, or perhaps I’m learning that I’m just really interested in cabinets…

That's lovely Roy. I love Cornwall really beautiful place. Best of luck to you and your wife for the future I hope you're both be really happy there x

Hi, go for it! I lived in my house for 30 years and was terrified of moving. I knew I had to do it as the house was too big and hard to manage. I can happily say that although it was stressful at the time I’ve never looked back. I’ve been in my little house for just over 2 years and I love it! Best thing I did. 

Beautiful. I love the squirrel x

I can relate - we’re a similar age and it does concentrate the mind! Tintagel is wonderful isn’t it - really spectacular. We’ve wanted to move to Cornwall for years but my son has another favourite place that he prefers and I think we might choose his option as he’s our priority above all else really. The other option is lovely too - but I really do feel the pull of Cornwall as it’s so special. I find the ocean so absorbing and it’s great for mental health. 

My neighbour seems to drink alcohol and sleep most of the day and then starts DIY in the evening. I’m not having a pop at religion but he is a Jehovas witness and supposedly doesn’t drink and has preached to me about alcohol, his bottle bin gets put out in the dark and is normally full!  More people are about in the daytime. The village has just had fibre optic installed so it’s a good selling point for me but more people working from home. It took someone outside of my bubble to actually tell me to move. Moving is stressful but I think it’s worth it for the long term gain. If you don’t make the jump then you will never know.

Yes uncannily similar. I've lived here over 20 years too and like you it was mainly elderly people at first. I used to think how lucky I was to live here. 

I blame the covid situation for a lot of the changes. Working from home has meant a lot more people now want to live in country villages, rather than towns and cities. The trouble is they bring their noisy urban lifestyles with them. People who were previously out at work all day are now at home all the time. Their yappy dogs, which would previously have been kept inside while they were at work, are now let out into their gardens all day. One of my neighbours who now works from home is on the phone most of the time in their garden, her constant loud voice drives me mad. I wonder if your neighbour works from home and that's why he starts the DIY at 5pm?

I hope you manage to sell your house quickly, despite all the neighbour issues.

I have the dark thoughts too but I am trying to remain hopeful that I will find somewhere. I think I am so averse to change that if I wasn't pushed I would probably just stay here forever. Maybe all this negativity will counteract my autistic inertia and give me the push that I need. 

Thanks, we originally thought of just moving to a nearby village, downsizing and having no mortgage. Our plan was to then move to Cornwall in 5 years time. I have an old school friend from Primary school, she gave me a bit of a shake, she told me that if i don’t to it now, then I would be 60 in 5 years time and never move again. It is really scary but she is right. The house we like is near Tintagel but this could change as we haven’t sold yet. Where ever it is, it will be away from the world.

Im really looking forward to working out things like sensory lighting and getting things like craft supplies. I would love a nature watching station. I was thinking of doing a post for peoples input on what would make an ideal retreat. I know we can’t be everything to everyone, but input would be good I think. I’ve seen retreats that are for about 20 people but I personally couldn’t think of anything worse, I need my own company.

Oh if only I could run the country! I would change a LOT :) 

I’m sorry to hear that you’re unhappy with your housing situation. I know what that’s like from past experience - it’s really stressful. I got very depressed and anxious when I was living in the city and housing I was unhappy with. I hate lots of noise and loud people too. I hope that you can find a way to move at some point. It’s so difficult at the moment - the rental sector is a total mess. My son is living abroad at the moment and is pretty much out of money - he might have to move back to the U.K. but he doesn’t know how on Earth he can find a place to live as everywhere is so expensive now and they all want massive deposits and a guarantor etc - and we can’t help him out as we are on a low income ourselves. 

I hope you can find a way to move to somewhere more suited to your needs in time. Good luck 

Wow! WOW. That’s FANTASTIC. Sounds like a dream I might have! And this is your reality

That’s such a wonderful idea. I absolutely love Cornwall - it’s so beautiful. 
I quite understand that for privacy reasons you might not want to say - but can I ask what part of Cornwall are you moving to? I love St Ives and the West Penwith area.

The idea of a retreat for Autistic people is wonderful. 
We’ve also lived in the same place for over 20 years and we hope to move sometime in the next 2 or 3 years too. It’s exciting isn’t it? Sometimes the time is right to make that change. 
I hope it goes brilliantly well for you. Cornwall is so special. 

Kate Kestrel said:

If I was running the country I’d make sure everyone had a decent, secure, warm home. Everyone should have that

You'd have my vote for Prime Minister

I can really relate to this Billy - I’m so glad that you have both the home you love and your family. Like you I feel so incredibly fortunate to have found someone I can feel like that with. When I was younger I worried I would never be able to connect to another human being in that way. I never take it for granted. Same with my children - I feel so blessed to have been able to have children. I count my blessings - life is often difficult for us in lots of ways but I always feel incredibly grateful to have my family - they are the greatest blessing in my life. And to have a home - I am so grateful to have that - lots of people have nowhere safe to rest. 
If I was running the country I’d make sure everyone had a decent, secure, warm home. Everyone should have that. 

That’s really lovely :) 

Thank you for your reply, we at the moment have similar lives, I live in a close of bungalows that originally had older people living in them. As they have been dying, younger families have moved in. I don’t want to go for a bbq or drinks and nibbles, I can’t cope in that environment.  My neighbour asked in April if he could remove my fence and replace it as he wanted to build a carport and get access to the side of it. I was told it would be replaced within 2 weeks. It’s October soon and still no fence or privacy. They have bought a yappy dog which yaps at me when I go outside. He has removed all the internal walls in his house and although he doesn’t work, he starts work at about 5pm on his house with power tools. All this is going on with me trying to sell at the same time. I live in the Chiltern Hills which is lovely but I just need space and less people. I’m hoping that our project occasionally allows me to be with people who are like us. I know I’ve got to move as I have too many dark thoughts at the moment.

That sounds like an amazing plan and I hope it all goes well. Moving and all the change it entails is scary, at least for me anyway. Reading this discussion has made me realise how much I need to move. When I thought of replying only negative things came to mind.

I live in a village but I am surrounded by houses and it is so much noisier than it used to be. More families have moved in with noisy children, who run around screaming and shouting all the time. More people seem to be getting those yappy dogs, that make my life a misery with their incessant barking every time I step outside. My neighbours seem to have some sort of obsession with DIY and building work and there is always some kind of hammering and drilling going on. Why do builders have to leave their radio blaring at full volume the whole time. Even the local pub has become much noisier since new owners took over. 

I would love to get away somewhere quiet and the autistic retreats you are setting up sounds like just the kind of thing I would like to stay in.

Living somewhere like you have found, with no neighbours within 1/2 mile, sounds like my perfect dream. Sadly I think it is unattainable for me financially and the best I can hope for is quieter neighbours than where I am now.

Hi, The thing I love most about my home is that, it’s for sale. This isn’t a negative statement. We have lived in the same village for 22 years and mostly enjoyed it. My wife and I were born 4 miles from where I live.

we have decided to move to Cornwall and start a new chapter in our lives. I’ve been struggling to live in a neurotypical world for 55 years and now I know why I struggle it has made our minds up. We have found a house with outbuildings and 2 acres of woodland. It is about a two mile walk from the coast and has no neighbours within about 1/2 mile. Our plan is to convert two outbuildings into ’lets’ for autistic people a sort of autistic retreat, very quiet and obviously very autistic  friendly if that makes sense. An ideal place for people in burnout. A place where people can recharge. My wife is going to carry on as a district nurse and I’m going to concentrate on our project. That’s what is going to make me happy in my new home.