A rant (feeling burnt out)

I was going to post but Deepthought beat me to it 

There's the app - also if you google "mood meter" and look in images there's loads of them. 

I started using a paper copy when I had more control over my day. As things have got busier I've let that slide (it's harder to remember to check in, take downtime - all the self-care stuff I should be doing) so using the app is a good call.

O said:

I don't like being being asked all the above questions in the first line, it feels like it's an invasion on my inner privacy, in my head I just think "why should I tell you" half the time if I do have a problem or 'something on my mind' I don't even know what it is that is bothering me and that gets me angry because everyone around me knows how they feel in an instant and they can talk about it in an instant and I just can't do that and they don't understand how I don't understand THAT and I can't do what they do.

The main reason the neurologically typical and atypical can talk about their feelings in an instant is because they have had plenty of practice relating with other people like themselves ~ knowing when to fake it and how not to, whereas the neurologically divergent do not get much practice relating with each other on account of being somewhat isolated. 

The invasion of privacy thing is often as a result of being excluded or attacked for being divergent from the behavioural norm, whereas once we have been better facilitated, identified and affirmed by those much more like ourselves, the better we are able to relate with ourselves and others. We learn as such from each other to come to terms with our feelings so that we can think and therefore speak or write more informatively or exploratively about what is or not or might be going on for us.

NAS72895 said:

what's the link for this mood meter? i'd like that. 

https://moodmeterapp.com/

There is also this:

What is Colour Psychology: Effects of Colours On Emotions

Most of the time my happy is just not feeling “bad”

Can so relate to not understanding how you feel , noticed other people seem to know more than me how i feel .

I have read  about loads of different emotions ,but don't know how they feel ,i understand angry, not sure about happy ,but i have been told i look happy sometimes .

what's the link for this mood meter? i'd like that. 

https://theconversation.com/people-with-autism-dont-lack-emotions-but-often-have-difficulty-identifying-them-25225

I found this article a few hours it's quite interesting thought you might want to read it

The award for the best idea of the day goes to O!

Thank you I think I will. I have call with my course mentor in a couple of hours so I think I'll do you what say and find a tree to sit under and watch something funny on my phone :)

Hi Ethan,

I think the same, some words are just too vague and to me at least they don't make sense all the time, like sometimes words like stress or worry or down don't describe how I feel but then there are no words that I can think of that fit the way I feel, and the thing that gets me is that based on how my family are (because they're really the only people I know) those kind of words are enough for them to understand how they feel and its enough for the people around them to understand.

Sometimes I'll just feel bad but I don't know what kind of bad I feel and if someone asks me "well what exactly do you feel" I just get so frustrated because I can't answer it but if it was the other way around they can.

I'm glad you're feeling better. Get some lotion on, put on your shades and go for a nice walk in nature. And remember to laugh (at least three times a day). Once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. Three times minimum. 

“The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.” – Samuel Butler

It's really hard navigating thoughts and feelings, trying to make sense of it all. Just when I think I've had a eureka moment, something happens emotionally to knock me back down again. I'm glad you're feeling better and were able to have a good night sleep. If you find anything that helps I would be really grateful to know. 

Thanks Pikl I feel a bit better today I had a good sleep last night I needed it but I'll be looking into this a bit more because it does really get me down when this happens to me 

Thank you, I'll try to remember that, I forget we're friends I feel a bit better today I went to sleep shortly after I replied I woke up in the same position I went to sleep in I don't think I moved at all haha

Hey O, I tend to describe how I feel, like " stuck in a Washing Machine " or "drowning" "falling" or A kid with a sugar rush". A lot of the time I'm feeling too many things that I can't separate them to name them.

I don't like being asked those questions either, they are too complicated to answer. 

Sometimes it's like  I have a box with how I feel inside and I can't open the box. Or at times emotions are just too overwhelming to make sense of them.

I hope you feel better soon, and if you find a way of understanding emotions, please let me know.

Hey, O. If you need to vent, you know you can always drop me a message (we're connected on here as friends). Otherwise, stay sane, man, and remember what Einstein said: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”  So, keep moving! Tomorrow is a new day!

NAS72895 said:

s i heard from an expert in autistic people, that sometimes thinking in terms of colours, or whichever words make sense, is great.

Really good advice - I've a mood meter based on work from the Yale Centre of Emotional Intelligence (Mark Breckett does work on emotional awareness and learning) which maps emotion words on a spectrum against color so it helps if I'm able to link an emotional word to having a "blue" moment, or a "green" one.

I always found words like "anxiety" and "stress" too vague.

NAS72895 said:

or me i also use an app called molehill mountain which prompts me with questions like what are you worried about to help me.

I'm off to google to look at this now - thanks for sharing this. 

Thank you, I'll look at that app you mentioned.

I don't have anyone in my family that I can really talk to about this I'm the only autistic person in my family and I don't have any friends either I'm just really alone in my life especially when I have my 'autism issues' I'm starting to think more and more that I should see a therapist I didn't think about this moment the over day when I asked if should see a therapist when nothing really negative is happening in my life but this happens to me quite a lot I just get so frustrated that I can't understand my feelings and emotions and the reasons why I feel what I feel.

something like this can 'trigger' (I hate that word) an almost short-term depressive episode that can last a few days or a few weeks because ill just end up shutting down

can you explain what you mean when you talk about colours a bit more I never heard of that

wow i really identify with what you said. I am similar in that way. my mum is also autistic and also is like this so i'm guessing what you described is actually normal for autistic people, as far as I can tell. i also hate being asked how i am. and I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling that way feel better soon. sending a lot of warmth and love. (okay maybe there's enough warmth to be going on with maybe not)

one idea i had which might help, is to think about strengths you and (other autistic people ) have, which your nuerotypical people you know might not have. for example, some autistic people are very creative, or technical or analytical, in a way nuerotypical people could only dream of. and yes they have strengths like emotional awereness, but also weaknesses like thousands of dumb social rules and sometimes shallowness.  itll help with boosting yourself!

also regarding feelings i heard from an expert in autistic people, that sometimes thinking in terms of colours, or whichever words make sense, is great. she said words like anxiety and stress often don't resonate and words like overwhelm, righteous injustice, etc, or whatever feels right, do. for me i also use an app called molehill mountain which prompts me with questions like what are you worried about to help me.

hope this post is alright i know it's a bit rambling!