Published on 12, July, 2020
I hate being asked "how are you?" "are you ok?" "is anything on your mind" "you look like there's something on your mind"
I feel burnt out the last couple days, I don't like the heat I was forced to come to two small family gatherings one day after another and I didn't want to go but if I say I don't want to go I get a bunch of sh!t for it.
I hate having to go out socially more than once a week it just takes too much out me and as a result of the burn out because of that I feel so angry when people start asking me questions about how I'm feeling but I'm not good with feelings, I'm not good at understanding my own feeling (unless it's very obvious ones) and I'm even worse at explaining how I feel its like theres a mental block between how I feel and actually physically talking about it.
I hate feeling angry and I hate being angry at people because I hate confrontation and the potential repercussions of a confrontation no matter who it's with.
I don't like being being asked all the above questions in the first line, it feels like it's an invasion on my inner privacy, in my head I just think "why should I tell you" half the time if I do have a problem or 'something on my mind' I don't even know what it is that is bothering me and that gets me angry because everyone around me knows how they feel in an instant and they can talk about it in an instant and I just can't do that and they don't understand how I don't understand THAT and I can't do what they do.
I feel like crying, I'm sorry I hate being this person but you guys on here are literally the only people I can think that might even have half a chance of knowing what I'm talking about.
O said:I don't like being being asked all the above questions in the first line, it feels like it's an invasion on my inner privacy, in my head I just think "why should I tell you" half the time if I do have a problem or 'something on my mind' I don't even know what it is that is bothering me and that gets me angry because everyone around me knows how they feel in an instant and they can talk about it in an instant and I just can't do that and they don't understand how I don't understand THAT and I can't do what they do.
The main reason the neurologically typical and atypical can talk about their feelings in an instant is because they have had plenty of practice relating with other people like themselves ~ knowing when to fake it and how not to, whereas the neurologically divergent do not get much practice relating with each other on account of being somewhat isolated.
The invasion of privacy thing is often as a result of being excluded or attacked for being divergent from the behavioural norm, whereas once we have been better facilitated, identified and affirmed by those much more like ourselves, the better we are able to relate with ourselves and others. We learn as such from each other to come to terms with our feelings so that we can think and therefore speak or write more informatively or exploratively about what is or not or might be going on for us.