Hope Therapy?

I find it very difficult to filter - I'm a bit 'all or nothing' in social situations.      I don't do secrets and holding back information is very hard for me - I really am an open book - heart on sleeve-type - stuff comes flooding out..

I realise I'm going into a very serious and sombre meeting with terminally ill people and I feel like CoCo The Clown.

Plastic said:

Thanks -  I've looked at the course content and it's very NT - I can't relate to the thought patterns they talk about - feelings and emotions are a bit mixed up in my head - I'm not really in touch or in control of them.

With feelings being present sensibilities and emotions previous integrations of which as habitual-instinctual drives to survive ~ and autism as a neurological state being in essence a life-long state of freeze, hide, fight or flight ~ the Rational, Sentimental, Communicational and Emotional (RSCE) sensibilities take on support roles to enhance the Imaginal, Reproductional and Sensational (IRS) ones.

Because the RSC and IRS networkings of the body-mind relationship easily become functionally integrated and fixed frameworks involving linguistic and behavioural patterns ~ and emotional feelings are socially camouflaged and personally masked to a large extent by the vast majority of people (regardless of their neurological typology with plenty of stiff upper lip and assaults and insults for any quivering of the lower lip), there is very little opportunity to compare and contrast emotional feelings with other people as most only experience and exhibit emotional reproductions of feelings to limited extent ~ due to birth trauma, parental separation anxiety trauma involved with infant schooling, and all the trauma of primary, secondary and tertiary education systems etcetera.

So you may find yourself on relatively equal terms when it comes to processing feelings and emotions, and should they prove particularly difficult to deal with ~ deep and gentle pelvic breathing is a generally recommended and effective way of coping with them, remembering specifically that that the diaphragm is not actually a muscle, but a fascia, which is band of connective tissue (primarily collagen), that 'fastens', stabilizes, encloses, and separates the muscles and internal organs of the upper and lower torso. Using the diaphragm to breath as if it were a muscle though, is more prone to distend it and or it's ligaments, and result in low oxygenation and progressive asphyxiation.

Plastic said:

I can hope I appear inspirational - but I'm worried in case I make them all feel inadequate - "That bloke should be dead by now - what's your problem?"  or    "holy crap - I've wasted this last year of my life"

Maybe use the reserved 'Clark Kent' approach to being a superhero ~ rather than bit by bit ripping off your historical clothes and flesh to reveal your T-800 series hyperalloy capabilities! ;-)

Plastic said:

I don't want to come across as too bright or arrogant if they ask me what I'm doing - and I'm not good at hiding the truth.   The engineer give concise answers that might offend.

I would suggest mentioning one or two things that you are up to ~ rather than going through the checklist and all that, and as such testing how receptive people are or at least leaving them wanting more, possibly. At very minimum just let your brightness radiate through the group, maybe.

I think your idea of at least going for the first session is a very good idea though.

My father retired at 65 and sat on the sofa getting fat, moaning about everything and being racist! Watching life pass him by. This is why I have no sympathy that he is now in a care home with dementia.

If you don’t use it, you’ll loose it.

Everyone copes with things differently.     My father in law just sat on the sofa for 2 years until the end.    Another friend went out every day with family and friends and off on holidays until he passed.

I'm just finishing chemo 8 and I'll be starting chemo 9 next week.   Been out to pub lunches a few times and had friends over lots - got another friend coming on Friday for lunch.      While I'm decorating 2 bedrooms and finishing the house.

Better to burn out than to fade away! (Highlander)

I don’t think you should go. I’m not sure I would cope with your diagnosis as well as you, and I still wouldn’t go myself. I just think it’ll be full of people sat round grizzling about who’s to blame and how unfair it all is etc, etc. The last thing you need.

Stay positive and keep engineering the solutions.

Go!   Behave yourself and report back to us your experience of this therapy.

It's the learning that I'm looking for -  I've not met a single other patient to learn from.    The NHS systems are being deliberately inhumane across the board.

I learn from others all the time,

soldiers, drug addicts, alcoholics, terrorists , Zen masters, nurses, comedians, depressives, nut cases, scientists, neurodivergents, animals, and Glaswegians

my chess computer has a blunder detector but sometimes I ignore it, because my move can be highly creative,unusual,random. If it leads to a win ( very rare ) its awesome

Plastic said:

but I don't think I'm doing anything anyone else wouldn't do if they had the knowledge or experience.

It's always knowledge and experience we're missing. To have someone help expand our understanding a bit more is liquid gold. One cannot make well informed decisions with out the correct information. 

Thank you Plastic. I can certainly appreciate a need to gather all information, I'm like that in a way, until I'm distracted by the next thing, and then I'm back down the research tunnels again.

Absolutely no need to apologise    

I'm in a very weird place.  

I'm not a fan of other people but I desperately need information - from real people - and my Mr Data inside needs to be able to compare and gather that information to see if I've missed anything out or made any blunders on the way. 

I will be going to at least one session.

Sorry Plastic, I hadn't at all considered that people would want to be with others in the same situation. Stupid of me really, as that's exactly why I'm on this forum. My apologies. You are an amazing and huge help here, it's very like that for some of the group you would be a big help for them also. Plus, as you said, it's an opportunity to be around others going through the same thing. You cannot please all of the people, all of the time, but I'm sure you will benefit some. You can always take it one session at a time, see how it goes and how it makes you feel. And again, I apologise for my lack of consideration. 

My biggest problem is the NHS has been playing covid games.      It means that I (as a patient) have been totally denied any possibility of meeting with other patients or talking with medical professionals about my situation as we are all being kept very much at arm's length with only 2-minute phone calls to say my bloods are good, carry on with the next treatment.       

It's keeping us all in total isolation from each other at a time when we need as much information as possible - and to feel part of a group going through the same thing.

Whilst I'm not sure about this course, I think seeing other sufferers would be good for me - but I'm also aware that my bright, cheery persona might not be what others are able to understand or put up with.    I have to think of the others on the course too - I know I can damage people..

Hi Plastic, do what's best for you, not for others. You could always give it a try and see how you feel about it. Personally it doesn't really sound like it's something that would appeal to you. It honestly wouldn't appeal to me. It is, of course, entirely your choice. Let us know what you decide.

I'm serious!     I am nearer to an android.    I really am like Terminator scrolling down the list of what I should do next.      I really don't understand when people talk about their subconscious or egos or all the other therapy buzzwords - I'm just me - doing the right thing no matter what - but never for me.

I'm glad if I am of help on the forum - but I don't think I'm doing anything anyone else wouldn't do if they had the knowledge or experience.- like I've said before, most people are too bogged down with their symptoms to understand the root cause.. 

I was planning on going along to the first session to see exactly where they're going - and keeping quiet - as you say, it's free so I need to feel the temperature.

It's definitely a routine offering.    They are feeling guilty for believing the '2 weeks to flatten the curve' and they abandoned everybody.immediately - a year ago - so they are tentatively restarting services

And Dave, I *really* only wish the best for you - for you to be able to move forwards and look at all your positives.     

This dwelling on something that is a long time ago is wasting so much of your life.     You only get your "three score years and ten" so wasting over 15 years of it over making an error you can't change seems to be such a shame.   .

Your self confidence is already there and I’m surprised they’re offering this unless it’s a routine.

you may be able to pass some of your positivity to others...... although to me it has been quite destructive 

Mr. Data! Brilliant. I was actually called a Vulcan once by someone who didn't know it was a bit of a family joke as my father is a bit Vulcan-y AND had pointed ears when he was young. It was supposed to be an insult, but I found myself rather complimented.

When it  comes to concepts and philosophical experiments, so long as they're intended for growth, I'm always up for the challenge. I assume adventure, so long as it's a short-term commitment. If it's free and not taxing my well being or finances, then why not. But I also second Deepthought in that, you appear to manage to help a great deal on this forum. I know it's a bit different in person, though I've been in a few group therapy situations and usually try to always point out that while I may sound clever, don't be fooled!

Thanks -  I've looked at the course content and it's very NT - I can't relate to the thought patterns they talk about - feelings and emotions are a bit mixed up in my head - I'm not really in touch or in control of them.

I can hope I appear inspirational - but I'm worried in case I make them all feel inadequate - "That bloke should be dead by now - what's your problem?"  or    "holy crap - I've wasted this last year of my life"

I don't want to come across as too bright or arrogant if they ask me what I'm doing - and I'm not good at hiding the truth.   The engineer give concise answers that might offend.

Plastic said:

Unfortunately, I'm the most positive, motivated, up-beat, energised, go-getting - depressed - person on the planet.

I'm actually concerned that I will damage or break the other people in the group when they are most vulnerable.

You may be the very sort of person to be a positive, motivated, up-beat, go getting ~ depressed ~ person on the planet to be shining example there, to boost or inspire confidence, perhaps? It is not like you have not done a lot of that here. :-)

And maybe as a bit of preparation even or just consideration: What is Hope in Psychology + & Exercises & Worksheets