Hope Therapy?

better than nothing

What if you never had it?

I find it very difficult to filter - I'm a bit 'all or nothing' in social situations.      I don't do secrets and holding back information is very hard for me - I really am an open book - heart on sleeve-type - stuff comes flooding out..

I realise I'm going into a very serious and sombre meeting with terminally ill people and I feel like CoCo The Clown.

It's also the fact that they need a degree to be a nurse - it's turned a caring profession into a pay-motivated conveyor.

Most Nursing Graduates are skidaddling to the US and Australia.

What destroyed the NHS was the sedentary lifestyle of the average Briton, and the increased cost of living; which made Private Healthcare too expensive and allowed the State to take liberties with the NHS.

The Health System here, in Northern Ireland, isn't great. However, it's still the best run Public Healthcare System by a country mile.

Plastic said:

Thanks -  I've looked at the course content and it's very NT - I can't relate to the thought patterns they talk about - feelings and emotions are a bit mixed up in my head - I'm not really in touch or in control of them.

With feelings being present sensibilities and emotions previous integrations of which as habitual-instinctual drives to survive ~ and autism as a neurological state being in essence a life-long state of freeze, hide, fight or flight ~ the Rational, Sentimental, Communicational and Emotional (RSCE) sensibilities take on support roles to enhance the Imaginal, Reproductional and Sensational (IRS) ones.

Because the RSC and IRS networkings of the body-mind relationship easily become functionally integrated and fixed frameworks involving linguistic and behavioural patterns ~ and emotional feelings are socially camouflaged and personally masked to a large extent by the vast majority of people (regardless of their neurological typology with plenty of stiff upper lip and assaults and insults for any quivering of the lower lip), there is very little opportunity to compare and contrast emotional feelings with other people as most only experience and exhibit emotional reproductions of feelings to limited extent ~ due to birth trauma, parental separation anxiety trauma involved with infant schooling, and all the trauma of primary, secondary and tertiary education systems etcetera.

So you may find yourself on relatively equal terms when it comes to processing feelings and emotions, and should they prove particularly difficult to deal with ~ deep and gentle pelvic breathing is a generally recommended and effective way of coping with them, remembering specifically that that the diaphragm is not actually a muscle, but a fascia, which is band of connective tissue (primarily collagen), that 'fastens', stabilizes, encloses, and separates the muscles and internal organs of the upper and lower torso. Using the diaphragm to breath as if it were a muscle though, is more prone to distend it and or it's ligaments, and result in low oxygenation and progressive asphyxiation.

Plastic said:

I can hope I appear inspirational - but I'm worried in case I make them all feel inadequate - "That bloke should be dead by now - what's your problem?"  or    "holy crap - I've wasted this last year of my life"

Maybe use the reserved 'Clark Kent' approach to being a superhero ~ rather than bit by bit ripping off your historical clothes and flesh to reveal your T-800 series hyperalloy capabilities! ;-)

Plastic said:

I don't want to come across as too bright or arrogant if they ask me what I'm doing - and I'm not good at hiding the truth.   The engineer give concise answers that might offend.

I would suggest mentioning one or two things that you are up to ~ rather than going through the checklist and all that, and as such testing how receptive people are or at least leaving them wanting more, possibly. At very minimum just let your brightness radiate through the group, maybe.

I think your idea of at least going for the first session is a very good idea though.

My father retired at 65 and sat on the sofa getting fat, moaning about everything and being racist! Watching life pass him by. This is why I have no sympathy that he is now in a care home with dementia.

If you don’t use it, you’ll loose it.

I stand by my statement about the NHS. I did not clap once during last year's weekly misplaced and pitiful public display of affection. The only people that do a good job in the NHS are most of the poorly paid auxiliary staff, and an ever-decreasing number of decent nurses.

The rest of them, far from them being clapped on the streets, should be clapped in irons and flogged in the streets.

I'm really sorry to hear of your plight - but it's not uncommon - Beverly Allitt is one of many.     

The whole covid game means that now patients are fair game - no visitors to protect them from the lazy, incompetent and bone-idle staff.       There are some good ones - but they are few and far between.      You really don't want to be in hospital at night or on weekends.

I'm lucky-  being 'speshul', my wife is allowed in as my carer - and she's saved my life 3 times since October.      

I *should* be scared of my chemo, not the staff.

Additionally, the specialist cancer centre has messed up my chemo meds every time.

Plastic,

From 2010 to 2012, I nursed my mother though every stage of her terminal cancer, from diagnosis until the end. I quit work and went to live with her because my father had died a few years prior to her diagnosis.

I was by her side through all the various treatments, the highs and lows, the pain and the joy, the chemotherapy (what a wonderful place the Christie Centre is in Manchester, without doubt a shining beacon of hope, medicine and world-beating care). A stark contrast to the rest of the NHS's abysmal, incompetent and soul-destroying cancer service. If it were up to me I'd disband the whole tatty, corrupt organisation. I even had to wage war just to get her an oxygen tank at one point.

We had such fun together for those two years, albeit interspersed with battles against the forces of evil that masquerade as adult social services (and in particular, the satanic cult of home care).

But that was my promise to her. I would protect her.

I even crossed swords with the local hospice, which was run at that time by an overpaid, toffee-nosed, seemingly untouchable charlatan who was protected by a handful of incompetent minions. I won that battle and succeeded in having mum transferred to a better hospice with better care.

I'm also grateful to the McMillan Trust. They were amazing. If only they were given a fraction of the millions and millions of pounds that the NHS sucks out of the tax payer every year...

But, I'd be afraid if I had to ever rely on the NHS again. It's a *** show; and provide the worst possible care anyone could ever receive for cancer. It might be okay if you have a sore throat, but for anything serious, like a stroke, or cancer, they are utterly clueless. If I had my way, NHS hospitals would all be closed down and turned over to private companies. 

Everyone copes with things differently.     My father in law just sat on the sofa for 2 years until the end.    Another friend went out every day with family and friends and off on holidays until he passed.

I'm just finishing chemo 8 and I'll be starting chemo 9 next week.   Been out to pub lunches a few times and had friends over lots - got another friend coming on Friday for lunch.      While I'm decorating 2 bedrooms and finishing the house.

Better to burn out than to fade away! (Highlander)

That's good news, Plastic.

I don’t think you should go. I’m not sure I would cope with your diagnosis as well as you, and I still wouldn’t go myself. I just think it’ll be full of people sat round grizzling about who’s to blame and how unfair it all is etc, etc. The last thing you need.

Stay positive and keep engineering the solutions.

Go!   Behave yourself and report back to us your experience of this therapy.

It's the learning that I'm looking for -  I've not met a single other patient to learn from.    The NHS systems are being deliberately inhumane across the board.

I learn from others all the time,

soldiers, drug addicts, alcoholics, terrorists , Zen masters, nurses, comedians, depressives, nut cases, scientists, neurodivergents, animals, and Glaswegians

my chess computer has a blunder detector but sometimes I ignore it, because my move can be highly creative,unusual,random. If it leads to a win ( very rare ) its awesome

Plastic said:

but I don't think I'm doing anything anyone else wouldn't do if they had the knowledge or experience.

It's always knowledge and experience we're missing. To have someone help expand our understanding a bit more is liquid gold. One cannot make well informed decisions with out the correct information. 

Thank you Plastic. I can certainly appreciate a need to gather all information, I'm like that in a way, until I'm distracted by the next thing, and then I'm back down the research tunnels again.

Absolutely no need to apologise    

I'm in a very weird place.  

I'm not a fan of other people but I desperately need information - from real people - and my Mr Data inside needs to be able to compare and gather that information to see if I've missed anything out or made any blunders on the way. 

I will be going to at least one session.