I am a 24 year old female that was recently diagnosed with asperges I feel the diagnosis has made me doubt my self doubt my intelligence and feel so lost. I am at a point where I want to have a career but I can't even handle applying for university. Everything affects me so easily and any minor setback can push me back 100 steps. I want to pursue my dream and be a teacher one day but I am suffering from a lot of anxiety and stress and dont have the family support. I am so scared of waking up one day and feeling like my life has been wasted. I do feel like this disorder is a curse in a lot of ways as it affects so much of my life. I would like to get married and have children and have the career like any other person I just don't know how to take the first steps. Can anyone give any tips or advice or share your own experiences.
Hi, and welcome. I’m about to go to bed but saw your post, and just wanted to say, you will have all the things you dream of but you will need to get some support. I’m really tired just now so won’t go into detail and I won’t lie to you, post diagnosis is not always a bed of roses, but when you’ve had time to process it all and you’ve got some support, you’ll start to see things differently. If you give yourself time and learn to walk to your own beat, you’re own rhythm, you’ll achieve more than you could have once dreamed of. I’m sorry I’m not much help right now, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, if you read some of the posts on here, you’ll recognise yourself. Some days some of us have a really tough time but they pass and you’ll get a lot of support from this group. Take time out of equation and allow yourself some time and space to accept where you are in your life just now. However you are now, you’re not going to be like this forever. I’m barely going out of my house just now, and that’s ok, I need the rest. Your life will start falling into place for you as you begin to accept and love yourself for who you are. Big hugs ((()))
I don't think you need to doubt your intelligence or any other aspect of 'You'. Having Asperger's doesn't make your intelligence, or any other aspect of 'You', less REAL. You are intelligent AND you have Asperger's AND you have life ambitions, career ambitions, fears, and hopes just like anyone else.
Olympic athletes aren't born the perfect physical specimens we see winning medals, architects aren't born with the skills to design their ideal home, you weren't born with the knowledge to get this far in your education. Each of you WERE born with a genetic make-up that made these things POSSIBLE but each of you have worked HARD to build upon that and make use of it and turn it into something that you aspire to. Just because your particular genetic make-up equals Asperger's too, that doesn't make it less real, or viable, or honest than anyone else's, just as we don't minimise the athletes or the architects achievements as 'genetic flukes'. Your intelligence is just as real as anyone else's!
Yes, there are aspects of Asperger's that can feel like a curse at times, but there are aspects of being anything that feel like that: a Mum, a woman, a social worker, a teacher, a single person or a married person! I think you may already know all of this but, as BlueRay said, it definitely takes time to acclimatise after the diagnosis. Everything feels a bit, well, wobbly for a while. I think it's natural to be shaken by the news, even if you were expecting it, I certainly was / am and I'm still getting used to the idea but what I'm holding onto is that I'm most definitely still me! (For good and bad.)
Actually, after a nine month pregnancy, I still remember being shaken by the news that I had an actual baby! That I was a MUM!! I think any big change in how we see ourselves is going to take time to adjust to but it IS just that - how we SEE ourselves. You, in fact, haven't actually changed at all. It turns out I managed to be 'Me' and 'Mum'. I think we'll each figure out how to be 'Me' and 'Asperger's' much easier because we've actually been doing it all this time without knowing it!
I hope this helps.
Hi Thanks for the response yes I think you are right it is about acceptance and not realising I have not changed as a person however it is still a lot to take in and It isn't going to be easy. And congrats on being a mum it gives me hope that I can too be a mother eventually one day I just have to work on myself and find who I am as a person.
Hello thank you so much for the kind words. Yes I hope that I can get some support and make changes right now I just have myself I live with my father but I am looking to move out and live independently hopefully will get support with this. There is so much in my head right now consuming me making sleep inpossible. Challenging times but I hope to get a grip on everything. I have a lot of days I don't leave the house too but it has affected me dramtically. I hope to use this diagnosis as a positive and it is good to read the forums and realise a lot of us are similar. Hope you have a great day ahead
Thank you :) but my 'baby' is now 24, like you, and just reaching the end of her own university studies! (She also has two younger siblings now.) My Asperger's, on the other hand, is a very new diagnosis so I'm at the same stage as you in that I too am still working out what that means. I think that no matter what age we are, we're constantly discovering new things about ourselves and I believe that's a good thing overall. Challenging, for sure, but ultimately it's what helps us grow. Asperger's is just my latest instalment of growing pains!
Oh okay that's great! I feel like i would have been doing what your daughter is if someone gave me the support and diagnoses at a younger age I would be finishing my degree and going out in the world. Yes it is a lot to figure out but we are meant to be this way for a reason. It is all very complex still. The pyschiatrist I saw also said that like in america the term "asperges" will be scrapped soon and that asperges will be listed as on the autistic spectrum which is all even more confusing when you are actually making research in to what this actually is!
Yes, I read that it was planned to scrap the term 'Asperger's' but I'm not sure I agree with the planned change. As you said, it's hard enough already to find enough information that's relate-able without having to search through the whole of the autistic spectrum. I guess there's a good reason for the change and I suppose it doesn't really matter what it's called as long as, hopefully, the diagnostic elements are becoming ever more precise. From what I've gathered so far the main indicator seems to be something to do with having too much testosterone in the womb - i.e the whole 'male brain theory' (Simon Baron-Cohen). It's interesting reading up on research into ASD and its causes and I think he and Tony Attwood seem to be the best place to start but I'm still waiting on the arrival of the books! Maybe Paul Ekman too.
Autism is a disability, so we are not as good as some things as other people to start with. We may find things more difficult than others, such as social interaction. But does that mean that we aren't ever able to? Does that mean that these things are impossible? No! You are able to achieve anything you like despite of this diagnosis - you may have to work harder to get that thing, but it can be done! Don't let a few words on a piece of paper stop you from realising your dreams!x
Much love <3
I chose not to read the full diagnostic report doesn't seem healthy for me to do. I know things will be somewhat harder and I am prepared for the struggle I guess. Thank you for the kind words!
It is interesting that pyschiatrists can't even give a definitive answer of what causes it clearly needs a lot more research considering the absolute crazy numbers of children and adults being diagnosed all over the world at increasing rates. I've read a lot to do with genetics that play a huge role but like all of these conditions, I know they refuse to correlate injections with autism but I challenge that as in they make the pre existing comditon worse at a minimum