Published on 12, July, 2020
I went to the doctors today. Nothing serious just hand irritation. I have bad anxiety and a recent thing I do which I’ve also wondered might be a stim is scratching the top of my hands which unsurprisingly has led to soreness, irritation and taking layers of skin off. At the time it’s a comforting feeling, the aftermath is extremely uncomfortable. But despite this I can’t seem to stop. I only do it when I’m feeling anxious.
Waiting in the doctors was difficult. At one point I thought I would have a meltdown but somehow I remained controlled and focused on my breathing. My appointment was at 4:40 and I was still waiting at 5:15. I got really stressed, thinking they’d made a mistake and forgot I was coming. So I worked up the courage to ask the receptionist and she was really aggressive, told me I wasn’t being patient and no one else had complained. I tried explaining I wasn’t complaining, I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t a mistake. She said she’d call me when the doctor was ready for me.
That upset me. I find talking difficult and uncomfortable so most of the time I’m mute, another unfortunate part of my anxiety disorder. By the time I saw the doctor because the receptionist had shaken my confidence I could hardly speak, my jaw got really tight so I had to write everything down for the doctor, who luckily was a lot more understanding.
I wish people better understood autism. I explained my autism to the receptionist and she didn’t hide the fact she didn’t care. Result: I'm feeling drained and like I'm going to have a meltdown.
On a more positive note the doctor has arranged for me to see a counsellor at the surgery to help me with my anxiety as it’s become somewhat out of control in the last couple of years.
I thought I would say hello as well. My name’s Paige, I joined a few years ago but didn’t give it much of a try as my anxiety put me off.
Hi Kate-thank you for your lovely reply. My dad had put in a complaint for me so hopefully the receptionist might be retrained now so that doesn't happen again to me or anybody else. I'm feeling a lot better today, and I don't need to go to the doctors or dentists (thankfully!) again for a while I hope!
I'm sorry to hear this is something you experience yourself. A bit like school I feel like waiting rooms in medical buildings are the worst places to be when you're autistic. They're normally busy, noisy, hot and the lighting is always way too bright. I can totally understand how that affects you as well and I imagine it's not very good for your son either. I'm hoping one day they'll make such places a lot more ASD-friendly. I'm not sure how but even keeping people updated on when they'll be seen would make a difference and cause a lot less stress.
I'm so sorry your son has selective mutism. This is something I deal with most days now so I know how debilitating it can be. I carry a pen and notebook round with me and use it to communicate, just in case I find myself unable to speak. It's saved me more times than I like to mention! :)
I'm going to have another restful day today and hopefully tomorrow I can go in to town and pick up some new books.
Thanks for your message Kate. Have a nice day.️
Hi Tulip, thank you, I will always try to embrace myself and stay strong. Yesterday threw me but as you say we're sensitive and things like that can really shake you up. But today has been better and my dad wrote a complaint. I hope you're having a lovely night x.
Hi Paige, I find doctors/dentists waiting rooms incredibly difficult too - almost unbearable. If I can possibly avoid them I do - and I also find waiting really horrendous too. I think these difficulties are normal for autistic people - so you are far from alone!
The receptionist should not have been rude to you like that - I’m really sorry she had such a woeful lack of understanding towards you. You’d think they’d have training about being helpful to people with autism etc in situations like that.
It’s great that your Doctor is arranging some counselling for your anxiety - well done for getting that arranged as it’s not easy to achieve these days! You must have done a good job of communicating your needs to your doctor - even though that was difficult for you it’s wonderful that you were able to do that. My son has selective mutism so we are very familiar with the challenges of speaking in stressful situations like that,
I know it was a difficult day for you but well done for getting through it, and for getting the help you need - you should feel proud of yourself for facing your fears - it’s never easy and takes so much courage. Hope you have a more restful day tomorrow !
Hi Paige
Im sorry you experienced this. We are sensitive souls arent we? It takes a lot of courage to deal with some things. But we must not let others' lack of understanding bring us down. Stand tall and embrace you. X
I'm so sorry you had a similar experience. That's really not good enough that it happens as much as it does-its really distressing, especially if you have ASD.
TheCatWoman said:I wrote a letter of complaint and I think you should too, address it to the practice manager, there's no excuse for the way you were treated.
Good for you writing your letter of complaint. My dad did this for me and took it in today, hoping I'll hear back about it and it has a positive outcome.
This happened at my Mums surgery, we waited 90 minutes and nobody told us anything, just that the doctor was busy with an emergency, they had a full waiting room and people were having to leave to put more money in the car park meter, to pick up children from school or go to work.
I wrote a letter of complaint and I think you should too, address it to the practice manager, there's no excuse for the way you were treated.
Aww sounds really nice. I hope you'll be ok when she's away, come on here, you won't get lonely with everyone here to talk to. ️ I've found this community a really fun and sociable place.
I honestly couldn’t survive without my chewlery. It helps ease my anxiety and it's good for my stimming as well. My dad put in the complaint for me this morning, keeping my fingers crossed it will have a positive outcome.
Thanks for your kind reply. I'm having nice days with my daughter before she goes away for two weeks holiday with her Daddy then scout camp. I'll find that tough but I always get through it. :-)
It's great you have found chewy jewellery helps. I hope the complaint got put in and you're recovering from your ordeal.
I'm glad you've been having a good day. Aww pain au chocolat’s sounds absolutely delicious! Being homemade I bet it's even better than normal. I like to bake and cook occasionally but I'm not the greatest at it. I'm listening to music at the moment too, going to be watching more Buffy again tonight.
I hope the rest of your day is as good.
I’m glad you’re doing better
My days been good thank you. Mainly listening to music/youtube, about to go out for a bike ride, and made some pain au chocolat’s
I'm doing a lot better today-just a little tired still. Thanks so much for asking that's really sweet of you. I hope you're having a lovely day and feeling your awesome.
How you been feeling today Paige?
AJ90UK said:This is such a problem with GP surgeries, being left waiting for so long, with no indication or idea how long you are expected to wait for. Last time I went to GP, I checked in on the computer, and I was waiting for a whole hour before I plucked up courage to ask if I’m showing as checked in as I had been waiting so long. Receptionist confirmed I was checked in… whilst they weren’t rude, they wasn’t reassuring or apologetic. Anyway I eventually was seen, GP was more apologetic. I know the receptionist must deal with some difficult people, but it doesn’t take much to reassure people like us and to be kind.
I'm sorry you had to ask, I can imagine how hard that was for you to do. I think this is one of the biggest problems at doctors surgeries. The staff don't keep you updated on what's happening and when you enquire what's happening they either don't put your mind at ease or as I found they make you feel you're in the wrong for asking. I know not knowing doesn't bother everyone but when you have autism being kept informed matters. Hopefully when my dad says about it tomorrow they might be better at communicating with patients in the future.
AJ90UK said:I have found the organisations that my GP referred me to were really helpful and really understood and listened to my issues. I hope you have a positive experience and it’s helpful. Keep us updated on how it goes
That's lovely to hear. I'm really glad you got the help you needed and you felt supported. This is what I'm hoping I'll get as well. Anxiety is horrible to live with and if this counsellor can even make it a little better than that's a win for me.
Yay I hope you enjoy watching Buffy again when you get to it! It's one of my fav shows. One I can go back to over and over again. Angel is the same. I love both.
Hello Paige, welcome back to the community
This is such a problem with GP surgeries, being left waiting for so long, with no indication or idea how long you are expected to wait for. Last time I went to GP, I checked in on the computer, and I was waiting for a whole hour before I plucked up courage to ask if I’m showing as checked in as I had been waiting so long. Receptionist confirmed I was checked in… whilst they weren’t rude, they wasn’t reassuring or apologetic. Anyway I eventually was seen, GP was more apologetic. I know the receptionist must deal with some difficult people, but it doesn’t take much to reassure people like us and to be kind.
I’m sorry you had a bad experience. You should definitely complain to them. Don’t worry that you’ll upset anyone by complaining. You’re just telling them how they made you feel and how it was wrong of them to be rude and patronising. You should be proud of yourself for still making your appointment, and seeing the GP even after the receptionist was rude. And that’s awesome you been referred for some counselling to help with your anxiety. I have found the organisations that my GP referred me to were really helpful and really understood and listened to my issues. I hope you have a positive experience and it’s helpful. Keep us updated on how it goes
I seen you mentioned you’re watching Buffy. I use to absolutely love watching that!!! And you’re mention of it has made me fancy watching it, so thanks for the indirect recommendation lol
Hi Tree spirit, thank you for your reply. I was on my own at the appointment as both my step mum and my dad were working at the time but my dad isn't happy about the receptionist and he's going to go in and talk to the practice manager. I'm worried about causing upset but like you say it isn't professional and it isn't fair if she upsets anyone else.
Scratching is a vicious cycle. I'm trying to break this and nail biting, something else I've annoyingly started doing as a result of the anxiety. I'm sorry to hear your allergies cause you to scratch your skin. Allergies can make you feel really rough, I hope they aren't causing you too much distress. I suffer with my allergies in the spring but for the rest of the year I'm unaffected. I'm glad your new diet changes have helped you and you've found other ways of coping with anxiety. Ordinarily I'll take something I can chew, chewlery works really well for me but like a complete fool I forgot my chewlery today! Need to try and remember it for next time to avoid any unnecessary stress.
Thank you. I'm watching Buffy at the moment, feeling a lot more relaxed now and I'm doing some writing and ebay shopping.
I hope you're having a lovely evening.
Bless you Paige,
That receptionist needs a talking to about customer service!! I'd have gotten someone to complain on your behalf so it doesn't happen to other people. I've complained when needed to with situations like that so the staff get more training as that's unacceptable and especially when it has such a profound affect on you and others I would imagine.
It's great that you got a good doctor who's taken you seriously unlike the receptionist. I understand the satisfying feeling of scratching but as you'll know, it gets into a cycle where skin becomes raw and painful. I scratch because of allergies but am much better now I've cut out various foods. I find pressing my fingers onto something rough like velcro or scratching it gives a similar satisfaction. I guess it's about playing with different stims or forgotten ones to see what works. A friend of mine has a piece of ribbon she likes to rub inside her pocket to keep calm. I also have a smooth stone but tend to like my car key better.
I hope you manage to decompress now you're at home and I hope someone can put a complaint in about that receptionist so she doesn't get away with it again.
Take care.