A Day From Hell

yes the kindness can work I agree

Oh I’m so glad - thank you for your very kind words

Re. what your therapist said: I used to work in a place where we had a customer who was incredibly grumpy and a bit rude to the staff - and I decided to be incredibly friendly to him. No one else wanted to serve him - so I always went to the counter when he came in. I was so friendly and cheerful to him and I think he didn’t really know WHAT to do with someone being cheerful towards him - no matter how grump he behaved! And eventually he mellowed a bit - I think in the face of my consistent friendliness he just couldn’t maintain it! I’ve always remembered him - and this was about 25 years ago. He’s probably dead now - he was quite old at the time. 
Anyway - good luck! 

Sometimes people feel they have to live up to the hype and exaggeration that comes from soap operas and staged 'reality TV'. They forget there are no cameras, and that they should be compromising with shared areas and trying to get on reasonably well with their neighbours.

I also support everything Kate Kestrel has said, that's very much been my experience too. It can be quite empowering when we choose not to be a victim. But I'm quite optimistic generally...

Thanks. I will tell you my view on moving.-

1- I want to move on a high.

2- I love my house just not the people they may move.

3- Because of mine and my sister's unique personalities we find that we get unkindness in most places and constantly have to ask for reasonable adjustments.There are unkind people everywhere but your advice in the long term spot on and thanks

spot on good advice 

I had similar...dug my heels in for years and then took the Universe's hint...the message just kept getting louder and louder.  Once I made the decision to move I became solution, not problem, orientated.  Things started to get better, I had a greater sense of control over the situation.  I shifted the energy too, changed my own attitude towards them.  Some days it was hard, but I kept sweeping the negative attitude I had toward them away.  It was bad, like with you, and it took five years to sort.  You have to start somewhere though.  Consider moving...it may seem impossible, but if you make the decision, you can make it happen.  One step at a time.

I know how hard it is to deal with a whole street of difficult, abusive neighbours.  You can get through it.  Best thing is to move, leave them amongst themselves.  They will soon have someone else in their sights, and in the mean time, will squabble amongst themselves.

Good luck, do something kind for yourself each day 

Wow thanks so much you have this woman down to a tee.She is very unintelligent and says really offensive comments.I am going to try your way it is brilliant.My therapist said even try and be kind to them and pay compliments .

Thank so much you have made my day with your kindness

Hi - I’m really sorry you’ve had such a dreadful day today, and that your neighbours seem so ignorant about autism, and to not be very easy people to live near to. Awful - that must be so stressful for you and your family. My youngest son has ocd so I really understand some of the issues you mention here. Myself and both my (adult) children are autistic btw. 
Being as it would be very difficult to control your neighbours behaviour it might be helpful to try and look at your neighbour’s actions and attitudes from a different perspective. 
Firstly - they obviously lack an understanding of complex issues like autism and ocd. To be blunt - they are possibly not very intelligent and have little insight into their fellow human beings. Their attitude to you and your sister suggests ignorance on their part. So you could say that’s ‘their problem not yours’ - even though their ignorance  it does undoubtedly impact on you. 
Also - it’s likely that they are probably quite unhappy people - because in general truly happy and well adjusted people aren’t nasty to other people. 
So there is a case here for actually changing your perspective on this to feeling sorry for them - because they are obviously sad, angry and ignorant people who cannot relate to people, or enjoy being kind and friendly to their neighbours. So when they say something unpleasant to you you can inwardly think : “how sad that this poor woman is so ignorant and rude - she must be deeply unhappy and probably didn’t receive much love and attention from her parents’. That way you shift the dynamic to one where you feel pity for this woman, and simultaneously realise that her opinion of you and your sister, and her language towards you - doesn’t matter at all because her opinions etc are not WORTHY of you bothering about them. In this way you can gain some detachment from anything this woman says to you and your sister. Her words don’t matter - because they are just the ignorant ramblings of a very unhappy woman. 
As soon as you stop caring what this woman says the you are FREE - and her words have zero power over you. Her words will have no impact - they’ll be ‘like water off a ducks back’

Do you want to see someone stole from someone and said he stole his bodybuilding supplement store he was working with them and a lot of other things happened to him he is Aspergers he was having autism epileptic seizures during sleep in puberty didn't you see there's psychopath people hurting you and acting like victims and when you have meltdown or defined your self you are the aggressive dog who change his gene brother because of meltdown, Aspergers and Egyptian a great MIXTURE for happy life be happy brother or sister and one last thing he was pee blood because of fake bodybuilding supplement do you want to hear full story come to Egypt and he will go to your country and all this guy knows about computers wasn't like school and refuse to work or deal with people his name is ahmed.

in that case - run. it's a no win and not a hill you would wish to die on. Pick a loftier cause.

so true my friend what is sinister is it is a mob in my road and the Police and council have backed them up !

they are looking for a reaction and live for those. Ignore them - pointedly - and they will try harder to be an irritant. Pointedly document everything as it's happening if you can use your phone for such things and write it all down when it's fresh in your mind. keep documenting and when show no reaction, just calmness as if they were invisible and they will stop - or they will escalate to where they are so blatant, they commit some actionable offense, then youv'e got your document to back you up. This worked for me once. It's work but I could not move from where I was living so I had to actually take the offender to court to solve the trouble. Also get witnesses! They are the deciding factor. 

These days I simply move when faced with this sort of thing. 

hi mate we are a house not a flat and believe you me we have tried all this it was just the most horrible day today

Some people are just complete units and seem to enjoy "baiting" those vulnerable members of the community. Seeing you suffer does sometimes get them off - a bit of a power trip I suppose.

Our laws give very limited protection from them and the fact they used a CPW against you so readily makes me thing this is because they know all about them from being at the receiving end in the past.

The light situation has already been looked at by the council and dismissed if I recall correctly so you can't do much more about the source of the light. Your best aproach is to deal with it getting into the flat instead so probably needs things like blackout curtains or better to block it.

I'm just trying to bring some suggestions for improving the situation by the way.

For the fence, if it is on their side and the materials are not causing damage to your side of the fence then there is nothing you can do. It is their side and they can do what they want unfortunately.

With the blocking of the driveway, if this is dedicated to your flat and you have a car then it may be best to block it yourself just to stop them from being able to do this. Make sure you don't block theirs or you can be sure they will get your car towed away.

If they do block your driveway and refuse to move it when asked politely then escalate to the police - make sure you have video evidence stating time and date that you can send to the police as the neighbours will no doubt try to move if if they think the police are on the way.

Basically do all you reasonably can do within the law, don't speak to the neighbours unless absolutely necessary and wait for them to mess up to the point when something gets done about it.

If you have any ways to deal with the anxiety then I would use these - try to block thoughts about the neighbours as they are like a rubbish, lingering rain cloud - settled in and horrible and you can't do anything but distract yourself with better things.

Learning to live with that level of inconvenience is unfortunately your best option for now - find ways to make life better by thinking of them as that rain cloud helps. Have toasted marshmallows and mulled wine instead - celebrate them not being able to get you down if you can.