Prevented from pursuing special interests?

I see myself as a recovering Aviator.

I no longer seek it out, but if someone was to place one in front of me and say "have a go" I don't  know how I'd react. 

That's an interesting way of putting it. It must have been hard for you to let it go 

I have two little ones, 1 and 3. I also work. All I have the energy for is to feed, dress and watch them, I sometimes muster the energy to play or draw with them. I wish I could take time in a silent room but I almost never get this opportunity. So I I shut down and do only the essential things 

Definitely have depression. Have just started on a different antidepressant as a previous one made me sick. So many practical life issues... my husband is from a culture where it's the norm to live in multi generational homes and the chaos and lack of control is just maddening. 

I think perhaps my depression has been lifelong. I used to get excited about things such as painting or reading philosophy etc but now I just don't care. I think I have shut down from doing anything except the minimum to keep myself and kids alive

Being overwhelmed is the natural state for a parent. I certainly wasn't ready for it, but one thing I did find is that routines are the lifesaver. Feed at X time, bed at Y time, etc. Helps the kid as well, as does getting them into nursery as soon as you can afford to. That couple of hours break in a day is a life saver and it helps thr kid develop social skills

It was like (I imagine) a 20 year infatuation leading to a 30 year bad marriage.

I woke up one day and realsied I was getting nowhere that I wanted to be and not particualrly enjoying making the effort any more.

I have several hobbies which have been a lifelong obsession. I feel compelled to do one of them, at least, each day, even if only for a short while and this greatly helps with my mental health. I find the time and make sure I let it happen. Until I don’t. Every so often my brain wants nothing to do with any of these things so I just leave it and either do nothing or something fresh that I don’t usually do. I don’t try to force myself. It feels weird. I miss doing those things. But I know I will do them again when I’m ready. Sometimes I stop doing them for months. But the interest always returns eventually. Maybe just relax and give yourself time. 

memory problems and losing interest in things is a sign of depression.

parenting can be very stressful and if there are 'extreme relationship issues' as well then this is a recipe for worry which for sensitive souls like us can tip us into depression.

It is great that you are here and sharing and being open about the situation. The more people you can connect with and get support from the better.

Yes! The main reason why I can’t do my favorite things and concentrate on my hobbies is child. My daughter wants to play with someone, she gets bored, she is naughty. Thank goodness I’m not alone with her. But this is also an issue in my relationship, my husband does not like the fact that I want to be completely alone for at least 1 hour per day. Preferably 2-3 hours. I can’t cope, if I don’t have it everyday. I tried to explain that it’s not that I don’t love them, but I need it. I also make sure that he has time for his friends and watching football. I know that if I don’t take time alone, I would either explode or totally shut down. Before I got my child I could sit half day without food, drink and bathroom and just work on my project. I don’t remember when last time I had such a luxury to have half day to work on something. Now it’s like if I have my time alone I usually relax with relaxing music or in silence. Best late evening. But if I start working on a project such as graphic design, and someone interrupts, then I leave it being upset and it takes me a lot of time to come back to it and finish or I even don’t finish it at all. But to not stay too negative about the inability to pursue my hobbies and interest as I would like, I always try to turn something negative into positive. For example I offer my daughter doing something that I also like such as drawing or building with blocks. Others when they see the little houses I built they say, that I should be an architect. I love houses, dollhouses etc. and yes I wanted to be an architect until my mom told me that I will fail. But this is a different story. At least my daughter loves the houses and plays there eagerly.

Yes I'm English and an avid tea drinker but couldn't touch it during pregnancy. Thankfully that's got better now! 

I'm finding I can't remember things from my childhood that were important to me. I also can't remember what I did last week. I need to be reminded and then I will recall. Also information and facts, I used to have a great memory for those which formed part of my identity. Now I can't remember at all.

Yes I should try and solve my everyday issues. There must be a way. I'm just so overwhelmed.

That's interesting, what made you quit, if I may ask?

I experienced genuine "grief" similar to, (but thankfully much less than) when a pet dies, upon quitting a fifty year old special interest, that being "personal aviation". 

I think I'm bettter off without it...

Pregnancy and childbirth really does a number on the female body. My partner, who had amassed over 900 teas, stopped drinking it entirely because the tastes had changed, plus her memory was fubar for at least a year afterwards.

Minor in comparison but evidence that this does change people in all sorts of weird ways.

My advice is to stop questioning the change and look at what is impacting on your ability to lead day to day life, tackle those bits first and then stop and consider more nuanced things.

Has dropping your hobbies negatively impacted your Wellbeing?

Was your comment the one about burnout? 100% I am fully burnt out. I don't see it ending until my kids turn 18!

Oh no, what has been deleted?

Thank you for replying. I have definitely had PND and had help for that since my 1st pregnancy. I haven't had any gut issues.

When did you become a parent? If Female, From 6 months to the first few years we can be susceptible to post natal depression. I have a feeling the Autistic biology can suffer more especially if you have had any gut health issues. I would chat with your GP 

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-natal-depression/overview/

My son went through something similar in his teens and we found ashwaganda + Reishi helped as he’s prone to Vit D deficiency. 

I was going to say the same thing, during a bad burnout last year which lasted a few months, I binned off all hobbies and did almost nothing but scrape by at work to avoid drawing attention. Between meeting while WFH I was on the bed with a pillow over my ears and eyes. 

I've also stopped some Spins in the past if they attracted too much negative attention from friend and family, which meant they were taking up too much time and bandwidth so I dropped hobbies I'd been absolutely obsessed with like a stone and never went back 

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