Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I was talking to a lovely member yesterday about anxiety and I realised that I literally have no coping tactics for my anxiety and it's getting worse. I'm not sure how it is for everyone else, but for me it is terrible. Feel drained when I'm anxious, I'm tired all the time. I get the shakes in my hands. Upset stomach. Feel sick. And I become so jumpy and on edge. Like if the doorbell rings I become so scared and panicky that I have a panic attack, it's that bad. If I go out I'm the exact same and if I see more than one person the exact same thing happens. I have passed out before which makes it so much worse and embarrassing for me. I hardly go out now, if I do I avoid really busy places but I don't like to be alone either in case I'm attacked by someone. I have my dog who is also my best friend but she's not very protective so doesn't help this. I'm on edge and anxious now just writing this so I'm going to stop now. It's getting worse and I don't know what to do to make it better. There's always the doctor but that thought makes the anxiety even worse. I could call my old hospital but I don't know if they'll help me with anxiety and also talking on the phone is a trigger for me.
I'd be really interested to know what you do to cope with your anxiety, if you struggle with it as well.
I am not coping and I am going to write a separate article as I have to mix in the other people world and it’s making me very unwell. I now have chronic high blood pressure and may not be here if it wasn’t for strong medication. I have limited support as I am waiting for a diagnosis. I have just started a new job and the learning style is not suiting me. The employer knows they have to make reasonable adjustments but these would be in the form of making the environment a bit quieter. I am struggling with the social side of meeting a bunch of new people that don’t understand my condition and expect me to just open up my problems and not like my masking tactic of keeping all of my emotions to myself. If I were to have a full on meltdown they’d probably not accept that either. Is like they have been told I am different but still expect me to think the same. I have tried CBT but this is only useful when I am on my own. CBT doesn’t really work when you have to be around people all day and they expect you to behave normally and not act like you are interested in meditation and your coping strategies more than you are interested in the culture of the people. I am going to go back to my GP and see if I can get some prescription medication. I am not sure I can cope with people that expect me to behave like they behave. It would be better to shut the emotion off chemically and carry on with my duties during the day.