Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys,
I'm new here, just joined today and thought I'd come take a look on the forums as I am feeling a bit wired tonight. I feel drained but hyper/on edge all at once. My whole life I have always felt different and think I have probably been depressed for most of it whilst going through the motions until it all came to ahead a year ago. I eventually went to the GP who diagnosed depression and put me on Citalopram which I have been taking the past year. I've improved a little but not enough to allow me able to cope at work or at home yet so he referred me to a psychiatrist, sensing that I'm a "troubled soul".
I had my initial assessment with the mental health team in April sometime I think it was and broke down at several points talking about my childhood through til now, my thoughts, feelings and how my whole life has been. It was very draining. At the end of the session she asked if I knew why my GP had referred me. I said I wasn't sure other than to get my medication looked at and she told me it was because he suspects I have ASD and that she would have to agree with him based on some things I said about my childhood, although she admitted her knowledge was limited. She asked me to do the AQ10 question which I did. I think I scored 6 or 7 out of 10 which meant that she was able to offer me an appointment with the local adult autism service for a full assessment. So that is where I have been today and a bit of background about me.
It was a bit of a shock and I didn't know what ASD was. However, since doing some research on this website, receiving inforation from the autism service and reading some books I feel like I am reading about my life. It is comforting yet upsetting all at the same time. I was with the adult autism service for over 4 hours today and I go back in a few days to see the clinical psychologist. They tell me they will let me know the diagnosis then. I feel sick with nerves and worried. So here I am.....I hope I've not rambled on too much. I'm a 35 year old female, supposedly in full time employment but I just can't cope and need some answers and some help. Hopefully this is it. I've been told over the last two and a half years things like OCD, anxiety, depression, but nothing hits the nail on the head like ASD so keep your fingers crossed for me that everything is going to turn out okay. I can't afford for this to carry on otherwise I am going to end up losing my job!
R x
At least you know now so you can take a well earned rest because all the tests are done now, like me you can look forward to the being of a new journey
I go back in 2 weeks for a proper chat about the diagnosis and what it means for me etc. We ran out of time. They were lovely :-) I feel tearful, tired and drained amongst all the relief. I also feel a sense of calm and like it's all going to be okay. I'm so tired. This week has took so much out of me.
I'm really am so pleased for you. You sound so much like me. I was also emotional when I was told but although I was relieved with the outcome, I still found it hard to get my head around. Did they say you have to wait for your report? Just take a deep breath and take it all in. So glad it went the way you wanted.
<p>It's official - I have ASD. I feel so emotional. It sounds crazy but I'm relieved. It's not all in my head and I'm finally going to get some help, support and understanding</p>
Your not wasting their time at all. Don'the forget they want to help people find out if they have asd. Tell them what's it'seems like living day to day and how you struggle being around people. Hopefully I'll hear from you later with the news you want.
dooglewoo said:Good luck, I have my fingers crossed for you. What time is your appointment?
Good luck, I have my fingers crossed for you. What time is your appointment?
its at 10. I have such a bad stomaxh and feel really sick with nerves. Again I'm wondering what to expect and what they're thinking of me and do they think I'm wasting their time. Am I going to be able to get any help etc
Im so nervous this morning!
I wish you luck for tmrw. At least it's not gonna be another 4 hours! I truely hope you get the answer you need.
Asha said:HiI was just wondering if theres anyone you can take to the assment with you - perhaps a relative or a friend - someone who knows you and know of the difficulties you have.Its no small matter for you, I can see that - you might feel a bit less vulnerable if someone goes with you.
Hi
I was just wondering if theres anyone you can take to the assment with you - perhaps a relative or a friend - someone who knows you and know of the difficulties you have.
Its no small matter for you, I can see that - you might feel a bit less vulnerable if someone goes with you.
I actually brought my parents to the assessment yesterday but I'm going back on Friday on my own as it's just talking to the clinical psychologist. From what I gather my parents seem to be taking it pretty hard and blaming themselves for all my suffering growing up and the fact they didn't notice. I don't blame them though, it's not their fault. I think my mum accepts that I prob do have ASD but my dad is struggling to say the least!
dooglewoo said:My assesment was the end of March and I can remeber having the exact same thoughts. If and only if they say it's not ASD (I can't see them saying you haven't, because I can relate to what you have talked about) you can always ask for a second opinion.when you see them on Friday, tell them you need closure and a reason or answers to why you have felt how you have your whole life.I have my fingers crossed for you on Friday
My assesment was the end of March and I can remeber having the exact same thoughts. If and only if they say it's not ASD (I can't see them saying you haven't, because I can relate to what you have talked about) you can always ask for a second opinion.
when you see them on Friday, tell them you need closure and a reason or answers to why you have felt how you have your whole life.
I have my fingers crossed for you on Friday
Thank you :) they did ask me why I want diagnosis and I told them I need help and support in work firstly and also acceptance and understanding of myself, from my work colleagues and from my family too! They seem happy with that. I just feel if they say no it's not I'm back to the drawing bored and will feel totally and utterly lost....again!
dooglewoo said:HiI can understand you don't want to or can't move. I used to live in a peaceful town where everything was familiar but I've had to move to a busy town, but hopefully I won't be here for too long and then I will move back to my comfort zone!I'm also better with one to one and I only do this if I have to. Hopefully, you'll get the diagnosis and as you say, the NAS will be able to help by putting you in touch with Aspire in your area. I know they can help you with the work thing. Your work have probably not given up on you but as you said a little understanding will hopefully go a long way.I think with the things you've said, it does sound alot like me and I've been diagnoised so hopefully you will get the result you need.good luck
I can understand you don't want to or can't move. I used to live in a peaceful town where everything was familiar but I've had to move to a busy town, but hopefully I won't be here for too long and then I will move back to my comfort zone!
I'm also better with one to one and I only do this if I have to. Hopefully, you'll get the diagnosis and as you say, the NAS will be able to help by putting you in touch with Aspire in your area. I know they can help you with the work thing.
Your work have probably not given up on you but as you said a little understanding will hopefully go a long way.
I think with the things you've said, it does sound alot like me and I've been diagnoised so hopefully you will get the result you need.
good luck
Thank you. I am getting myself a bit worked up this evening wondering "what if". What if they say it's not ASD, what will I do then, what am i going to do etc etc. Wondering if I've given an accurate reflection of myself and so on. I just want to know, it's so hard trying to be patient and not worry until Friday. t sounds strange but I'm more scared they'll say it's not ASD than if they say it is! It's like I need closure and a reason or answers to why I have felt how I have my whole life and why I have literally fallen apart at the seams recently. Argh! Hurry up Friday!
Hi,
Im Mum to a 13 year old F2M transgender boy and a 14 year old girl. My son is going to be privately assessed for ASD in 2 weeks - at his own request. I have always believed that he may have ASD. He is very depressed and is not going to school.He has self harmed. He sees a councellor who is fantastic and helps him untangle his feelings and thoughts about his body, gender and school. His sister also sees a councellor and has a lot of anxiety herself. She is very angry with all of us and feels that everything is focussed on her brothers needs. She may well be right!
My husband and myself are struggling to cope with everything at the moment - the school are on our backs for none attendence, the gender clinic are not listening too well to my son ( he is desperate for hormone blockers) and my daughter is blaming her brother for everything. We are at our wits end. I am praying that my son gets an ASD diagnosis and that it helps him feel better about himself - am I awful to wish for that? Has anyone else experienced their child being too anxious and overwhelmed to go to school?
Please help - any suggestions or experiences gratefully received - good or bad.
Thank you x
Welcome and I hope these forums make you feel welcomed and at home.
In the outside world most of us feel different and alone.
Here we share experiences and realise that others have had similar problems in life and can offer practical help.
dooglewoo said:Hi Daydream BelieverI'm a 47 year old female and I'm new to the community aswell.like you I've always felt different from others and I was told by doctors for years that I suffered from anxiety and depression. I also had dealings with the mental health team.Unfortunatly, I really do struggle being around people and I've never been able to hold down a job, but hopefully in time that may change!I have recently been to an assesment that lasted for 3 hours and the outcome was that I do have autism. When I was told, I was glad to hear it, because it has made me realise why I am the way I am, but hearing it still hit me like a brick and now I'm trying to get my head around it all.I hope you get the answer you want. Good luck
Hi Daydream Believer
I'm a 47 year old female and I'm new to the community aswell.
like you I've always felt different from others and I was told by doctors for years that I suffered from anxiety and depression. I also had dealings with the mental health team.
Unfortunatly, I really do struggle being around people and I've never been able to hold down a job, but hopefully in time that may change!
I have recently been to an assesment that lasted for 3 hours and the outcome was that I do have autism. When I was told, I was glad to hear it, because it has made me realise why I am the way I am, but hearing it still hit me like a brick and now I'm trying to get my head around it all.
I hope you get the answer you want. Good luck
Hello :)
I have flitted around jobs myself but I live out in the sticks and job is very specific. If I quit, I'd have to move to a new town/city and leave everything familiar behind which I just can't and don't want to do. I feel safe and comfortable living here in my little town. Familar faces and places and of course my home and sanctuary.
I also really struggle being around people. One to one isn't so bad depending who that person is but otherwise I can't cope. I'm around people and having to "act" all day at work and it's no longer bearing. Frankly, it is exhausting and I'm still making a bad job of fitting in and can't fulfil all my duties.
I am hoping I do get the diagnosis now I know more about it. I feel like it sums me up in a nutshell and I need the diagnosis to allow me access to the right kind of support and adjustments in work that will hopefully keep me in full time employment. I can't afford to drop down to part time, although I know realistically that is probably going to happen depending what can be done to help me. I feel like work have totally givn up on me and no longer know what to do with me. So in a way, I need this to help them understand, accept and support me. I'm not being awkward or abrupt, rude, stand offish or whatever else they may think. A little understanding and support will hopefullly go a long way