Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys,
I'm new here, just joined today and thought I'd come take a look on the forums as I am feeling a bit wired tonight. I feel drained but hyper/on edge all at once. My whole life I have always felt different and think I have probably been depressed for most of it whilst going through the motions until it all came to ahead a year ago. I eventually went to the GP who diagnosed depression and put me on Citalopram which I have been taking the past year. I've improved a little but not enough to allow me able to cope at work or at home yet so he referred me to a psychiatrist, sensing that I'm a "troubled soul".
I had my initial assessment with the mental health team in April sometime I think it was and broke down at several points talking about my childhood through til now, my thoughts, feelings and how my whole life has been. It was very draining. At the end of the session she asked if I knew why my GP had referred me. I said I wasn't sure other than to get my medication looked at and she told me it was because he suspects I have ASD and that she would have to agree with him based on some things I said about my childhood, although she admitted her knowledge was limited. She asked me to do the AQ10 question which I did. I think I scored 6 or 7 out of 10 which meant that she was able to offer me an appointment with the local adult autism service for a full assessment. So that is where I have been today and a bit of background about me.
It was a bit of a shock and I didn't know what ASD was. However, since doing some research on this website, receiving inforation from the autism service and reading some books I feel like I am reading about my life. It is comforting yet upsetting all at the same time. I was with the adult autism service for over 4 hours today and I go back in a few days to see the clinical psychologist. They tell me they will let me know the diagnosis then. I feel sick with nerves and worried. So here I am.....I hope I've not rambled on too much. I'm a 35 year old female, supposedly in full time employment but I just can't cope and need some answers and some help. Hopefully this is it. I've been told over the last two and a half years things like OCD, anxiety, depression, but nothing hits the nail on the head like ASD so keep your fingers crossed for me that everything is going to turn out okay. I can't afford for this to carry on otherwise I am going to end up losing my job!
R x
Asha said:HiI was just wondering if theres anyone you can take to the assment with you - perhaps a relative or a friend - someone who knows you and know of the difficulties you have.Its no small matter for you, I can see that - you might feel a bit less vulnerable if someone goes with you.
Hi
I was just wondering if theres anyone you can take to the assment with you - perhaps a relative or a friend - someone who knows you and know of the difficulties you have.
Its no small matter for you, I can see that - you might feel a bit less vulnerable if someone goes with you.
I actually brought my parents to the assessment yesterday but I'm going back on Friday on my own as it's just talking to the clinical psychologist. From what I gather my parents seem to be taking it pretty hard and blaming themselves for all my suffering growing up and the fact they didn't notice. I don't blame them though, it's not their fault. I think my mum accepts that I prob do have ASD but my dad is struggling to say the least!
dooglewoo said:My assesment was the end of March and I can remeber having the exact same thoughts. If and only if they say it's not ASD (I can't see them saying you haven't, because I can relate to what you have talked about) you can always ask for a second opinion.when you see them on Friday, tell them you need closure and a reason or answers to why you have felt how you have your whole life.I have my fingers crossed for you on Friday
My assesment was the end of March and I can remeber having the exact same thoughts. If and only if they say it's not ASD (I can't see them saying you haven't, because I can relate to what you have talked about) you can always ask for a second opinion.
when you see them on Friday, tell them you need closure and a reason or answers to why you have felt how you have your whole life.
I have my fingers crossed for you on Friday
Thank you :) they did ask me why I want diagnosis and I told them I need help and support in work firstly and also acceptance and understanding of myself, from my work colleagues and from my family too! They seem happy with that. I just feel if they say no it's not I'm back to the drawing bored and will feel totally and utterly lost....again!