Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys,
I'm new here, just joined today and thought I'd come take a look on the forums as I am feeling a bit wired tonight. I feel drained but hyper/on edge all at once. My whole life I have always felt different and think I have probably been depressed for most of it whilst going through the motions until it all came to ahead a year ago. I eventually went to the GP who diagnosed depression and put me on Citalopram which I have been taking the past year. I've improved a little but not enough to allow me able to cope at work or at home yet so he referred me to a psychiatrist, sensing that I'm a "troubled soul".
I had my initial assessment with the mental health team in April sometime I think it was and broke down at several points talking about my childhood through til now, my thoughts, feelings and how my whole life has been. It was very draining. At the end of the session she asked if I knew why my GP had referred me. I said I wasn't sure other than to get my medication looked at and she told me it was because he suspects I have ASD and that she would have to agree with him based on some things I said about my childhood, although she admitted her knowledge was limited. She asked me to do the AQ10 question which I did. I think I scored 6 or 7 out of 10 which meant that she was able to offer me an appointment with the local adult autism service for a full assessment. So that is where I have been today and a bit of background about me.
It was a bit of a shock and I didn't know what ASD was. However, since doing some research on this website, receiving inforation from the autism service and reading some books I feel like I am reading about my life. It is comforting yet upsetting all at the same time. I was with the adult autism service for over 4 hours today and I go back in a few days to see the clinical psychologist. They tell me they will let me know the diagnosis then. I feel sick with nerves and worried. So here I am.....I hope I've not rambled on too much. I'm a 35 year old female, supposedly in full time employment but I just can't cope and need some answers and some help. Hopefully this is it. I've been told over the last two and a half years things like OCD, anxiety, depression, but nothing hits the nail on the head like ASD so keep your fingers crossed for me that everything is going to turn out okay. I can't afford for this to carry on otherwise I am going to end up losing my job!
R x
dooglewoo said:HiI can understand you don't want to or can't move. I used to live in a peaceful town where everything was familiar but I've had to move to a busy town, but hopefully I won't be here for too long and then I will move back to my comfort zone!I'm also better with one to one and I only do this if I have to. Hopefully, you'll get the diagnosis and as you say, the NAS will be able to help by putting you in touch with Aspire in your area. I know they can help you with the work thing. Your work have probably not given up on you but as you said a little understanding will hopefully go a long way.I think with the things you've said, it does sound alot like me and I've been diagnoised so hopefully you will get the result you need.good luck
Hi
I can understand you don't want to or can't move. I used to live in a peaceful town where everything was familiar but I've had to move to a busy town, but hopefully I won't be here for too long and then I will move back to my comfort zone!
I'm also better with one to one and I only do this if I have to. Hopefully, you'll get the diagnosis and as you say, the NAS will be able to help by putting you in touch with Aspire in your area. I know they can help you with the work thing.
Your work have probably not given up on you but as you said a little understanding will hopefully go a long way.
I think with the things you've said, it does sound alot like me and I've been diagnoised so hopefully you will get the result you need.
good luck
Thank you. I am getting myself a bit worked up this evening wondering "what if". What if they say it's not ASD, what will I do then, what am i going to do etc etc. Wondering if I've given an accurate reflection of myself and so on. I just want to know, it's so hard trying to be patient and not worry until Friday. t sounds strange but I'm more scared they'll say it's not ASD than if they say it is! It's like I need closure and a reason or answers to why I have felt how I have my whole life and why I have literally fallen apart at the seams recently. Argh! Hurry up Friday!