Hello new member here.

Anonymous said:

Thanks Mike.

If only I had done A instead of B. Oh yes I've had that my whole life. One wrong turn after another.

I'll be around here quite a bit as this seems to be a helpful place and I might be able to offer a bit of help to others.

Paul

Paul - so interesting you should have said that!

I enjoy writing fiction.  Always have.  A few years back, I published a novel (in a very small, not-rich-making way!) about a man living with BPD, which is what I was suspected of having then.  Now I've had my diagnosis, I realise that the novel is actually all about living with ASD.

Recently, I've started rewriting a novel I wrote a couple of years back.  It's about a man who dies in an accident, but whose spirit lives on - both to see the effects of his death in the future, and the results of decisions he might have taken, but didn't, in the past.  For me, it was answering a need to know 'what might have been.'  I've turned down so many opportunities in my life.  So... this is my way of, if not answering the question, at least exploring it in the context of what actually did happen to me.

We can never know if they were wrong turns.  Things may have turned out badly for us with the decisions we actually made... but there are no real guarantees with any life choice.  Like people who miss flights, only to discover later that the missed flights had crashed.  John Lydon, for instance, had been due to be flying to the US on the Pan-Am flight that crashed over Lockerbie in 1988.  He missed it because his partner left it too late to pack.

So, maybe I wrote it as a form of reassurance.  I think it's the kind of reassurance a lot of people need - autistic or otherwise.  It's the same reassurance I got with my diagnosis.  Now I know why I didn't do such and such...

Thanks Mike.

If only I had done A instead of B. Oh yes I've had that my whole life. One wrong turn after another.

I'll be around here quite a bit as this seems to be a helpful place and I might be able to offer a bit of help to others.

Paul

Hi and Welcome,

I was diagnosed recently, in my late 50s.  A couple of months or so on, it's definitely helping.  MrsC and I both understand a lot better why I am how I am, it's helped us both come to terms with how life is.  It's meant that I can understand myself better (does one ever fully understand oneself? probably not) and comprehend better decisions I made years ago, stopped me saying "If only I'd done A instead of B ...".

Hope your understanding grows too - it improves life so much.  Hang in there.

Hi DQ

That's my situation too. It's been a rough ride at times but we're still here.

The diagnosis it a weight  off our minds.

Paul

No support at school. I'm 52 and was only diagnosed a couple of weeks ago.

It's something I learned to live with the hard way.

Hi Paul, he's 26, he went to a councillor last year, who didn't really do much.  But this was a 1st session with a new councillor who was so positive & caring, she was so helpful & is arranging for tthe tests to confirm her findings.  As a parent it was a shock as we had only beendealing with Dyspraxia for 20 years.  This just came out of the blue, but i'm very glad she's recognised it and not left us feeling helpless & alone.  Did you get support at school? Thank you for your reply, it's good to talk to like minded people

Hi Paul and Welcome! My Husband was diagnosed last year aged 53.

We have been married 35 years, I think it works because I drive Him up the wall as much as He can drive Me to exasperation! Luckily We have managed to accept Our differences! 

DQ

Hello Paul,

Welcome.  I was diagnosed last year, at age 56.  I've had very similar lifelong problems to yours: inability to make friends, sustain relationships, anxiety and depression, etc.  I, too, lost a job because of extended sick leave.

I was married once, but it fell apart as I find cohabiting difficult.  That was 12 years ago.  I recently tried cohabiting in a relationship again, but that didn't last either.  I prefer to be alone.  I don't have any kids.

See you around!

Tom

Hi Yellowfairy.

How old is he now? I wish I'd had a diagnosis years ago.

Sounds like your counsellor is well switch on. Couselling I have had in the past has been a complete waste of time. That was pre-dianosos though.

Hello,

I'm a parent that has an adult child who since 4 years old was diagnosed with Dyspraxia & Autism.  Throughout his school & college he was statemented & had support.  Since leaving education, the only support he receives is from myself (mum), his dad & brother.  He went to councilling 2 days ago & the lady called me in, with his permission, she said she feels has  80% autism & Aspergers & 20% dyspraxia.  We had noticed his change but just thought it was a part of him growing up. We didn't expect that.  The councillor is going to contact our Gp to ask for the relevant tests to be done to confirm this. A friend suggested i join here to obtain supprt & guidance.