Adults with autism

Hi I have an autistic girl who's 31 she is very young for her age . She likes her own company at the moment she is constantly talking to herself repeating words and saying random words and reading everything of the TV . I am so stressed and finder how I get through each day . I live her so much and feel helpless .

I wish I knew what to do . I have believed my son is high functioning autism for past 5 years. I cannot persuade him to come docs with me, come out with us, he breaks into a sweat when I put meals on table, troughs it as quick as possible. He is in his late 20 now and he gets more isolated. He communicates with our dog. I'm at a loss to know what to do. Any advice great fully received.  Note he doesn't talk to us hides in his room, no job etc etc.  I meant to say he hates light, loud noise , super intelligent, gets angry if you try to talk to him. Has rigorous routines too. Some days very stressed with headaches

Hello there,

I'm also an adult who was diagnosed later in life.  I was diagnosed through a screening test when I was an adult learner at university.  Id always had a problem with groups of people, sound sensitivity, conversations, anxiety and social contact.  I was fortunate that I was able to pay for CBT and other therapies which enabled me to manage conversations and 'fit in' with neurotypical people.  I still struggle with social contact, I would by choice, seclude myself almost totally from people.  As a mum of three and a wife that's not possible ( incidentally my 'family' don't make me anxious but 'people' do!!)

I've found that talking to people with ASD or people who know about Autism is helpful.  Other parents of Autistic children can often give good advice and point out things that I've missed.  My husband is really helpful as he also has some social anxiety and so understands the difficulties.  I find online resources helpful, the more I read the less I feel that I'm alone.  I make myself go out and face 'people' everyday as this is my biggest source of anxiety.  I know that if I don't then it's all the more difficult the next time I have to.  West Midlands Autism can give you advice, they can offer a lot of support whether you have an official diagnosis or not.  You're not alone.  I think that there are many undiagnosed ASD adults around, especially women.

Take care.

Hi BookReader,

I'm really sorry to read the end of your post, that's incredibly sad and unfortunate. It's such a shame that this man couldn't accept you just for being you...despite having done so for many years prior to you having a 'label' for your quirks! His loss I am sure will be someone elses gain as us ASD'ers have a lot to give!!

It's good that you find some solice here, I know I certainly do. I mirror your sentiments...it's fantastic to have found somewhere I can be me; no masks, no hiding, no false smiles or strange words that society makes me say, just me being honest and blunt.

It's also great that having the diagnosis has helped explain some of your behaviours, I know my diagnosis has helped me to start to make sense of why I am the way I am. We sound very similar as I have the same issues as you; hatred of crowds and people, an aversion to loud/high pitched noises, crushingly honest, regular meltdowns, days of mutism, taking things literally, outbursts of anger brought on by sheer frustration or annoyance etc etc. And we have the same diagnosis which I find fascinating as many people I speak to have been diagnosed with Aspergers and not HFA (I was told that they no longer diagnose Aspergers and now just call it ASD with a person falling somewhere on the spectrum).

Anyway, it's good that you're here amongst like-minded people

Hi,

My partner of 18yrs listened to a radio programme about autism and told me that so much of it sounded like me. Frightening honesty, amazing memory, dislike of crowds and high pitched noises, enjoying being alone, taking things literally and meltdowns. I then started to try and find information as i knew since i was a child that i was the odd one out. Odd in my family, odd in society. I was often cross and would have outbursts because i was so frustrated, or anxious or depressed.

I bought books and realised with a shock, at the age of 46 that i was not alone, indeed i kept reading more and more about people just like me. Not men, not boys, actual women. I went to my GP who then got me bounced around the mental health team who diagnosed me with all sorts of stupid things. All the time i kept telling them I thought i was on the Spectrum and all the time they patronised me and told me i was not a man and made eye contact, had a sense of humour, a full time job and my own flat... Luckily i am a real Goat, and if i know i am right i will not be put off. I know my own body and mind so someone who has only talked to me for 30 minutes is not going to change my mind. I contacted the National Autistic Society and they gave me the name of a private clinic. I took out a loan for £2000 and sat through a 3hr session. My diagnosis was High Functioning Autism. I then took a copy of my diagnosis and passed it the the "specialists" in the NHS to try and educate them - to get them to open their eyes.

My frustration now is finding people to meet in the same situation as me. The groups are for carers, parents, children, or lunchtime meetings so obviously for those more affected by me who do not have jobs. This forum is a life saver. I can be me, no masks, no stress. Just me talking to others who share the stress and frustration but also the child like joy too of being on the spectrum.

As for sharing with my partner.... he could not cope with the social stigma of being with a woman with Autism. All the things he would have a go at me for were explained by my diagnosis but he would not accept it. He would not read the books. He would tell me to stop talking about it. So the man who highlighted my autistic traits left me.

I am really pleased you have such open minded men in your life.

I wish you both well

Hi CatLady,

I couldn't agree with you more, there is virtually nothing out there for adults diagnosed later in life, in fact there is little on adult autism that is useful at all! I am 31 have been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, everything I have learned about my condition has either come from the very expensive pyschiatrist that I pay weekly to see or from spending hours on Google researching my condition (slim picking I'm afraid as there is virtually no information on females with HFA!!)

Anyway, I wanted to make this new news as easy to understand as I could for my husband so he could come to terms with what this diagnosis meant for me, him and us. I carefully selected a few articles/blogs from online and combined them into almost like a little pack for him to read, highlighting bits that I found particulary relevant for me. Once he had read it, we sat down together and he asked me all sorts of questions about how HFA affects me, what gets to me, what sets off a meltdown, what can he do to support me. It was really helpful as I was able to take my time and try explain to him the sorts of things that affect me and what things would help me. It was hard being so honest with him but it was really helpful for us both as now he has a much better understanding of my condition, he can help me more and in turn I can try see things from his point of view slightly better.