Middle aged ASD diagnosis.......and stuffed?

Well....at the moment I cannot see my way to being in a more comfortable place, but.....I can acknowledge at least that such a thing may be possible . Appreciating all the replies!

Yes, I can relate too. Discovered I was on the spectrum in my early fifties. Total shock. Had to quickly learn what autism actually was. 

I've had some years to come to terms with it, but still struggle some days. But now I know why, and I make my own adjustments as much as possible. You have to try to learn to be kind to yourself. it can feel like a big change, but nothing has really changed. You are still the same person you always were.

We are all different but all have our strengths. Some of us are artistic, some musical, some good at puzzles and games, some have a gift in understanding animals - yours could be one of these, or something completely different. Identify your strengths and try to plan how to use them, whether it's to find a new job, do some voluntary work, join a club, or just start a new hobby or interest at home if you don't feel up to going out much at the moment. But if/when you do feel up to going out, joining a club to do something you are interested in might help you make friends.

Good luck on your journey.

Yes i can relate. I discovered that i am autistic at aged 59! Struggled all my life with feeling i cant cope, told i was anxious and depressed even a hypochondriac, and dealt one antidepressant after anothet, but still, i felt like i was pulling a double decker bus all my life. Saw othets doing things and wanted to do some the same, but it has been very hard. Now  i can embrace me and do what feels right for me.  Thank goodness i didnt end up a drug addict or alcoholic or ended up in prison! Im lonely but thats the price a pay to help me avoid being overwhelmed. I had no idea that i am autistic, maybe because i am autistic? I was very vulnerable but pretty capable. Learned behaviour perhaps? Copy peers? I dont care what happens now, i can handle it. Whats the wirse that can happen! We have been through it. We should now feel proud and live ourselves for who we are x

JamesB said:

I'm assuming that someone on here can relate to this?

Yes, I can absolutely relate.

Diagnosed in 2020 at 67 years old.

I have had all the tranquilizers; dealt with addictions; failed at relationships; endured decades of utter stress, and most difficult of all....... dealt with other people.... the normies can be bl**dy bewildering, can they not?   But I'm still here, much much wiser after reading up on ASD and meeting like-minded folk here at NAS on-line who have similar tales to tell.

You are not alone.

Welcome to the forum James, I hope you gain something from being here.

Ben

Yeah, I'm a few years younger and COVID also seemed to excaerbate things by closing off the handful of friendships I had

I'd resisted getting diagnosed because to my mind it meant I was permanently broken beyond reapair.

I can relate to this. I was diagnosed as autistic last year, aged 41. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 16. If I'd known I was autistic back then, I wouldn't have spent a quarter of a century believing I was a bad person.

But better late than never. I hope you feel welcome here and are comforted by the fact that you are most certainly not alone.

If it's any consolation I was 56.  Some of us were older than that and you are far from alone in the experience.  

It will take some time to work through the implications of your diagnosis and not everyone finds that easy.  But welcome and congratulations on finding your truth.

There is life after late diagnosis and it can be whatever you want it to be, but give yourself time to process.  The discovery is a lot to take in.

yeah im 34 and even i think at my age im too old for relationship building or having kids or anything. everyone is already taken, or they are single mothers with 5 kids looking for their 1000th partner lol

Hi, I started a thread recently on my late diagnosis (50) your experience sounds incredibly similar to mine. My burnout was around 8 years ago and I don't think I ever fully recovered but on the plus side it forced the issue that ended up with a diagnosis.

Welcome and good luck. Since so many of us are having the same journey you are definitely not alone.

Hello and welcome to this wonderful community.

It's understandable to feel frustrated when you're not where you want to be in life, especially when it comes to relationships and your future. It's important to remember that you're not alone and that many people feel the same way at some point in their lives. It's great that you're working with a therapist to develop a plan, and that's definitely a step in the right direction. It's important to be patient with yourself and to take things one day at a time. It may also be helpful to focus on the things that you can control, such as your own actions and thoughts. Try to avoid dwelling on the things that you can't control, such as the past or the future. Instead, focus on the present moment and what you can do to make the most of it.

I'm nearly 30 and I'm not where I hoped I would be in my life by this time. I don't work, I have no friends, I'm still living at home and I don't really feel like I'm living, more existing. I try not to think like that though and linger on what I haven't achieved. Otherwise it's too depressing and heaps on the pressure to try and do more.

I focus on the good things, the things I have achieved like having worked in the past and also getting my driving license. Both were extremely difficult and I'm proud I was able to do them.

I hope you're OK and things improve for you.