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Middle aged ASD diagnosis.......and stuffed?

JamesB

Hello,

So after more than half a lifetime of feeling different and never really understanding other people, I have received an ASD diagnosis 3 months shy of my 48th birthday Dizzy face. I have suffered from 'depression and anxiety' throughout adulthood, and have been working my way through the NHS library of SSRIs and SNRIs as each successive medication appeared to lose its efficacy. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you see things, I have been able to mask, compensate and 'sort of manage' too effectively over the years for anyone to ask serious questions until the Covid Lockdowns finally pushed me over the edge.

I kind of understand now how I've ended up where I am, but that doesn't really detract from the frustration of it: getting on for fifty, no 'real' friends, no partner, no plan for the future. And it feels like no time left to do anything about it. As is my way (ha-ha, but not funny) I am desperately trying to work out a plan (my therapist is doing what she can to help), but it feels like I am stuffed.

I'm assuming that someone on here can relate to this?

Parents

  • Yes i can relate. I discovered that i am autistic at aged 59! Struggled all my life with feeling i cant cope, told i was anxious and depressed even a hypochondriac, and dealt one antidepressant after anothet, but still, i felt like i was pulling a double decker bus all my life. Saw othets doing things and wanted to do some the same, but it has been very hard. Now  i can embrace me and do what feels right for me.  Thank goodness i didnt end up a drug addict or alcoholic or ended up in prison! Im lonely but thats the price a pay to help me avoid being overwhelmed. I had no idea that i am autistic, maybe because i am autistic? I was very vulnerable but pretty capable. Learned behaviour perhaps? Copy peers? I dont care what happens now, i can handle it. Whats the wirse that can happen! We have been through it. We should now feel proud and live ourselves for who we are x

Reply

  • Yes i can relate. I discovered that i am autistic at aged 59! Struggled all my life with feeling i cant cope, told i was anxious and depressed even a hypochondriac, and dealt one antidepressant after anothet, but still, i felt like i was pulling a double decker bus all my life. Saw othets doing things and wanted to do some the same, but it has been very hard. Now  i can embrace me and do what feels right for me.  Thank goodness i didnt end up a drug addict or alcoholic or ended up in prison! Im lonely but thats the price a pay to help me avoid being overwhelmed. I had no idea that i am autistic, maybe because i am autistic? I was very vulnerable but pretty capable. Learned behaviour perhaps? Copy peers? I dont care what happens now, i can handle it. Whats the wirse that can happen! We have been through it. We should now feel proud and live ourselves for who we are x

Children
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