Newly diagnosed, feeling like I have arrived on a new alien planet ...

Hi, I'm also new to this online community.

I was diagnosed as an adult.

I actually have a dual diagnosis now. Firstly I was diagnosed ADHD in 2021 and more recently in April this year I was also diagnosed Autistic. I am a Mum to 3 Daughters who are all certainly Neurodivergent too, ranging from diagnosed to still awaiting formal diagnosis.

Just wanted to let you know that all feelings are valid, give yourself grace and allow yourself to process your diagnosis in whatever way feels best for you. 

I have quite a few books that I'm happy to recommend, if you'd like? I wish I could do the same in regards to support/resources available. Unfortunately my experience so far is there isn't much out there for newly diagnosed Autistic Adults, to be honest there isn't much in terms of support at all for Autistic Individuals whether children or adults really. 

Just remember the diagnosis is only a piece of paper, you are still the same you that you've always been.

Take care

Hi Louise ... I am going through the same ....  It's been a rough couple of days.

I wish I could offer you some suggestions, but I'm really not in a position to, all I'll say is that you are not alone.

Six weeks ago and for the very first time in my life of struggles, mostly anxiety and low mood, Autism was raised.

I had been referred having been on seasonal medication for SAD for a long time and the GP believing I was misdiagnosed. I went into the reviews for ADHD, SAD, other.... and at the end they said they'd ruled out what they could diagnose and had I considered Autism.

For six weeks I have read testimonies, accounts and traits for typicals and am now in a similar situation to where you are.

It depends on my mindset at the time so this list may differ in other posts but the big things that have me experiencing your list of emotions are in relation to:

How I cant join a flowing conversation but somehow manage to stop all conversation with one comment I thought was relevant.

House parties and social gathers, even with friends, raise my anxiety and confusion and often have me sat on my own puzzled why I cant hold a conversation like others.

Why I observed/ heard things that nobody else seemed to so stopped raising but then later pulled up for not raising.

I am not great on keeping contact going, but I offer to join your path as it could be the same path as mine. Many people are helpful here and I am thankful for that but if they are like me, recalling a position I was in the past can be rose tinted glasses, apologies to all if I am catching everyone under one banner on limited experiences.

I would emphasise that I am not currently diagnosed at this time.

Hello Louise,

wellcome to the community. I would recommend Untypical by Pete Wharmby, an amazing book that really  captures the way we see and experience the world.. Thinking In Pictures by Temple Grandin is a famous book and she has a good website as well. There is a HBO film of her life and I recommend seeing that too.

This is so helpful - thank you. I have just ordered one of the books you suggested :) 

Thank you :) This is helpful. 

Thank you Chloe - this is good to know - I will do some research to see if I can find something similar to me locally :) 

Thank you Iain, I have recently started therapy with a therapist who has lots of experience with autistic adults, this has been really helpful. 

Learning about it is a great suggestion - I have been doing lots of this and it has really helped. 

Exploring the discussions has been super helpful too - it has definitely helped me feel less alone. 

It is nice to know I am not alone - thank you :) 

It is nice to know I am not alone - thank you :) 

Louise said:

I feel like I am feeling every possible emotion in response to my diagnosis: relief, understanding (but at the same time confusion), frustration (how did no one spot this before?), isolation.... You name it! It's a rollercoaster. 

I would try to get some therapy from a psychologist who has experience with autistic adults like yourself - they are trained for this sort of situation and can help you ground yourself quickly.

Nothing has actually changed after all - so why let it get to you. Learn about it (there are plenty of resources here), read up on it if you are a reader and look through discussion threads here that you can relate to. This will fill in a lot of the blanks for you.

As for connecting to others on the spectrum - you'll find loads here. Join in the discussions and in no time you will have some low maintenance friends here.

Feeling like u but u can put it better kn words

Hi. it was and very much is still the same for me (as it is with many).

give it time.

I would recommend seeing if your local NHS autism spectrum service offers support groups. Mine has monthly online calls where we talk about a different topic each time, such as family & relationships. My local service also have social clubs for autistic people where we do things like play board games.

Just remember that you are still the same person you were before the diagnosis.  The diagnosis just explains why you are who you are.

The struggling feeling is very normal. It can take a long time to adjust. I am over two years from diagnosis and I feel I am only now really fully adjusting. It definitely is a rollercoaster, but it does get better. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to process things. You'll probably find yourself viewing your personal history in a completely different light, which can be unnerving, but also healing.

You could try to find some other autistic people you can connect with, here or elsewhere. There are good books out there too e.g. The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood, Autism in Adults by Luke Beardon, Nerdy, Shy and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim and An Adult with Autism Diagnosis by Gillan Drew.