Hello all.

Your welcome lovely x

I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply on my thread & really making me feel at home. Much appreciated

Thanks for the welcome & input, I'm 54, too.

I've enjoyed reading your reply, much of which makes a lot sense to me.

I think I've always been myself within my little family bubble & at work, as I'm a lone worker, well saying lone, I do work with adults with learning difficulties, but mainly without other staff, present. It's other staff I can have difficulties working with, have done so within the past, especially when working within close groups. 

How I am is my norm, so I know no different, only until recently that I've really considered autism. Yet I've worked with autistic adults for over 15 years. 

Ditto on the job front, it's the only job where I've really felt that I fit in, reason I've been doing the job for over 15 years now & really enjoy it most of the time, even as you'll know the pay & working conditions are very poor within the care industry. I'm also a lone worker, which really helps. 

Hey and welcome to the community! I hope you find this a great place to be :) 

I'm not diagnosed but it got picked up via the mental health team.  Good in one way as i got referrered eventually (still waiting).  Not so much in others.  There is no support.  Not had any since.  

The good thing is.....my wife read up on it.  Rather than just thinking I was a bit of a divvy sometimes when things got too much (I can be in other ways, my behavior isnt all autism but alot is triggered by sensory stuff.....Im very laid back otherwise)

Just helped me to relax and not be on edge if i was feeling nervous.  Beforehand, i didnt know what was happening, why i didnt understand what things meant and pretending to.  I can sort of explain things now, or at least try.  Also, my family know there is a reason why I sometimes want to be alone and know i need that space to gather myself.

Welcome to the forum phoenixboy, It was funny that you mentioned the Christine McGuiness documentary, that's what first got me thinking about autism too. I'm also on the waiting list for the NHS... Though I have done a private pre assessment which suggested I am Autistic. You'll find this forum an excellent source of support and information. Good luck 

Hi, I think that anger seemed to be my default setting. I do wish that I had an assessment 20 years ago, I think I would possibly have been a much better parent. I use coping skills now and I explained to my sons what had actually been going on. I really don’t know why my wife stayed with me. I tend now to realise when a situation is going wrong  and get out, from experience it’s only going to get worse so don’t fight it, take some time out. I don’t yet have an official diagnosis but know that I am autistic. You gradually find out what works for you. I think the expression is ‘ fight or flight’ I try now to control a meltdown more into a shutdown, which I can control better.

Hi and welcome, I’m 54 and gone through life mostly alone and puzzled by all of it. It was only last year that autism came onto my radar. To be honest it was a big shock and a massive relief, my life finally makes  sense. I approached my gp and was referred. I received a screening pack about 6 months later.  I don’t have a parent to fill in the questionnaire about my childhood. I’ve lived with my wife longer than I lived at home so she added a letter explaining what she has noticed. To be honest it was a bit of a hard read, a lot of what to me is normal apparently isn’t. The wait in my area is about two years. At first I wanted a diagnosis instantly, now I’ve grown into my skin a bit more and use some of my time researching autism. I know that I’m autistic, the formal diagnosis will just bring me the validation i need. Unfortunately there isn’t much help afterwards. I was quite angry with myself for not realising I’m autistic for over 50 years but know that being different in schools of the 70’s and 80’s would have been even worse. School is unfortunately where we learn to mask and I’m only just learning that it’s okay not to mask and actually be quirky me, only at home at the moment. The hard part is working out which parts of you are the real you and not the false persona that we created to fit in and look normal in the strange world. Good luck with your journey.

I'm booked in to see my GP in 3 weeks and will start the diagnosis journey from there. I am lucky that I may be able to afford a private diagnosis if I want to, but I'm not really sure what happens thereafter.

After being in denial for a few months, I've now acknowledged that I probably am on the spectrum. I'm struggling to come to terms with it, and who I am, but at least I'm now more aware of why I behave in a certain way (e.g. suddenly having an excessive angry outburst with my wife / kids). This means that I now know the problem is me, not them, and I can apologise rather than thinking I'm right.

Anyway, I digress. My question is: what has everyone done with their diagnosis? Has this led to counselling / coaching via the NHS? Are other services available after a diagnosis? Or, is it just that having an "official" awareness makes it easier to make adjustments yourself?

I work with adults with learning difficulties and autism.  Get on with them more on a personal level than other staff.  Did i think i was autistic? Hell no!

Wasn't until i read into and looked back on my life i was like.....ohhhhh, thats the problem

it took me 2 weeks reading on this forum until I self-identified as autistic 9 months before official diagnosis. Before I had no real idea what it means,

Thanks for the welcome, maybe I'll have a diagnosis before I'm 60 with a bit of luck. To be honest it was only until Paddy McGuinness' wife came out recently, that actually made me think about myself. It's weird really, as I actually support adults with learning difficulties at work, some of which also have autism. So I know about autism to some degree, but for some strange reason I didn't see it within myself, until I really thought about it. The more I thought & looked back over my life, the more It all made sense. As my life is my norm to me. 

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post, yes I'm going to be in for a long wait, too. I've seen a G.P, mental health nurse then referred me for an NHS assessment, that's the long wait, but at least I'm not within the system. I don't think it'll be life changing, even if I'm diagnosed with autism, but at least I'll then know for sure. As no doubt most autistic people have their own coping strategies, no doubt. I'm grateful to have been place on the waiting list, even though it's a long one. As we are probably low priority now, no doubt. 

Thanks for your kind welcome, I shall hang around a bit & see if I could contribute positively. 

Welcome. I was 56 when I was diagnosed. Many of us were the lost generation. 

Yes you'll be in for a long NHS wait, but meanwhile we are here and you can dig the rabbit hole. You'll know more than your assessors by the time your turn comes.

Welcome

Welcome

I waited over 4 years for diagnosis since GP referral. I moved house just before Covid started, and my surgery deregistered me because I was no longer in their area without telling me about it. I couldn't get to the doctor for over a year to check a progress of my referral. Not until they reoponed walk-in surgeries. To my suprise I was no longer on a list, they've told me they thought I was no longer interested. LOL So I had to go from the beginning and get a new referral from my GP. Bloody bureaucracts working for NHS. They shouldn't be hiring anybody without making them take Hippocrates Oath, otherwise they don't care about patients

Hi Phoenixboy - Lovely to meet you and a big welcome to this forum! I'm happy to hear you have already looked over some of the posts and found them helpful - Feel free at any time to join in the discussions, ask questions as there is a wealth of knowledge here

Best,

SarahMod