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Newbie

Rob76

Hi, 

Im new to this community and also only one year since diagnosed late as ASD. In that year, knowing that things take two people to make things work, my wife has also left as its all 'too much'.

 With my daily routines totally gone and the emotions of it, I'm totally struggling.

Anyone else been through similar? 

  • in reply to Rob76

    Surely you still have a right to live there until the house is sold 

  • in reply to Rob76

    OMG!

    How about contacting Shelter?

  • in reply to Arbor

    I was only diagnosed in February at 45. With the post diagnostic support, she didn't want to do couples counselling etc and then just sprung it on me a few weeks ago. Because we worked together, I'm nor allowed back there and has said I don't need to return to the house so sofa surfing at moment. I get really bogged down with complications and confrontations, I hate it so thinking of no job, nowhere to live is freaking me out.

  • Hi Rob,

    I have not been through what you have because how could I it is your unique journey. 

    However I was diagnosed at 46 and am now 50 and it was also post break up so I would say we will have much that resonates in experiences. 

    Stay on this forum and remain engaged as I know this for sure their are many excellent, intelligent and experienced individuals on this forum and you won't be ever left without sound advice should you reach out for it.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Hi, a Chris packham moment would be just great!! I think what's thrown me the most is how I do my routines in my own bubble and thought everything was OK so to get this sprung on me, and apparently I never even saw it happening right in front of me, didn't 'read' the body language, the silences etc.

  • Hello Rob

    I hope 2022  brings you more happiness.  I am lucky that my wife wants to go on this journey with my ASD and is willing to make accommodations but I don’t a high level of social anxiety and I am not obsessive about routines etc so she doesn’t have to make big changes.  

    It seems a shame your ex wife couldn’t cope or wasn’t willing to help you with the diagnosis.  It is a big revelation to find out as an adult that you have ASD and emotional support makes finding out so much easier.

  • No/yes, but sort of. Lol, sorry doesn't quite make sence.

    Firstly, welcome.

    I had to initiate a divorce. My husband is someone I love deeply and dearly, but who is too far sunk into a can of Stella to understand my ASD, to the point he is a walking sensory bombardment. So, sort of reverse getting your position, if you see what I mean.

    Yes, it takes two to make any relationship work. When it's ND/NT both have to be committed to understanding the other's perspective. If my husband were sober, I'm sure we'd be sitting on a river bank doing a quiet Chris Packam moment now. But he isn't so...

    You need new routines, now I guess. You can find them, I'm sure. Chuck a few ideas out here, someone will have a clue to help x

  • sorry to hear your wife left you.   Welcome to this forum Slight smile.