Is it Autism and/or Mental Health?

it would be awesome if you changed from "NAS72511" to a nice name of some sort. Clearly your experience is useful to others here

thanks for helping others it is just awesome to experience it

aidie

feel free to ignore me 

I am awaiting an assessment, so I'm trying to remain open minded about which side of the line the assessors will put me in. However, I'm over it on every online test I've done almost every post on this forum or in my research seems to be a lightbulb 'me too' moment. So, I'd be surprised if they didn't minimum tell me there are a few strong traits.

It was a MH issue for me too which brought me to this point. But, for the seriously accute medical phobias, which are literally endangering me, involving episodes which look like tantrums including self-harm and an inability to speak or absorbed anything said to me, but which are anything but tantrums, and resulting in a general level of high anxiety, I could have gone my whole life just being a bit quirky.

What I have found so sad here is the sheer number of folks who likewise have, or have been thought to have, MH problems, and who don't seem to have been getting the right care and support. Either the possibility of ASD has been missed and have had a misdiagnosis, or it's acknowledged but nothing seems to be adapted for them.

By way of support, all I can say is, you are so not alone and if only the right help can be identified and provided, I'm sure our respective situations can't be hopeless. It's finding it and getting it that seems to be the challenge. 

I am 56 now, but I have raised a wonderful lad alone. Parenting had its challenges. Given my medical phobias pregnancy and my c-section were a nightmare. The thought of *** feeding was repulsive, so I didn't do it. I was very good at structured outings and educational inputs for my son, but absolute rubbish at the 'mummy, can you play with me?' moments. All I could do was sort and organise his toys. I wasn't a fun mum, but I was a gentle one. I guess I just acknowledged my short comings and ensured he had other people (relatives, child minders and other kids) in his life to provide play of the sorts I couldn't do. 

Just an idea, but perhaps they key to parenting for anyone, with ASD or not, is to identify the bits your good and what your not. And then see whether you can get good enough or whether there's some other way to ensure your child gets what they need. After all, unless we happen to have a maths degree, we probably aren't the person who will teach them algebra. I don't think any parent can provide everything a kid needs, but we can see to it that what they need is provided somehow.  Ultimately, all we ever have to bring to the relationship is ourselves and we all of us have something positive to offer our children that they will remember with affection in their own old age, I'm sure.

Wow! I’m blown away by the kindness and openness from everyone on here. More importantly, I share the same difficulties as you all and want you all to know I’m very grateful for the support. And likewise, if you want to message me please do so. I’m so used to being “shot down” by professionals and other people who just don’t get me....so thank you. 
The most recent advice I received from mental health was that I needed to be careful with doses of insulin as I could easily overdose! Well, thanks you just offered me another option the next time I’m in crisis! Helpful? NOT! 

I've had anxiety and depression for two decades of my life, and realized that at least for me, gluten triggered those things, plus physical health ailments, that cleared up when I stopped eating gluten. But everyone's bodies are different.

I wish to have children some day though, and I hope that my mood would be good enough to give those children the care they need when the time is right. I hope your children grow up happy and healthy. 

Oh - I really feel for you in that case.  I try to take part in research when I'm feeling low - not sure if I'm allowed to mention who with because of community rules - just gives me some hope that things might change in the future- sorry to keep offering advice that is probably useless.

I am the same minus the parenting - I'm a student at uni. I live alone (couldn't find a flatmate that would agree to accommodating my sensory difficulties), don't interact with my neighbours and it takes a toll on my mental health. I've been told to leave places because I make people uncomfortable (my favourite is being banned by a church because my suicidal feelings 'gave the priest anxiety').

I think autism and mental illness often go together and are therefore often excluded together, especially if one is a woman because NTs hold on to the stereotype that only males can be autistic so if you're a grown woman then they feel you're using autism as an excuse for being 'annoying', 'childish' and 'needy'. I feel that autistic men, especially boys, tend to be more believed and accommodated when they say their behaviour results from autism (or ADHD etc).

Hi there.

Life. Don't talk to me about life. 

(I quote Marvin, the paranoid android from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, by Douglas Adams) sorry. It's probably not really appropriate. But if it brings a little levity, then yay. 

I'm 46, been struggling with anxiety and depression for 20 years. Been told "acute reactive depression", low self esteem, negative belief systems, and thinking patterns that can be resolved with a bit of cbt or person centred counselling.

Then I tried suicide a couple of times. The home treatment team visited a few times and referred me back to the same services I'd seen before.

I found a local women's centre and went for some gestalt therapy thinking if it penetrated further, I'd see better results. But let's remember how well we wear our masks. As soon as I had regained my energy levels and felt a bit more in control, I could convince everyone (even myself) that I was OK. So then I'm off again.

And then it goes wrong. Or I burn out. 

Nb. I've a really supportive partner who just wants me to be happy and do what I want to do and share my journey with him. That wasn't working out so well. I need guidelines. Some direction. An indication of what's expected of me. He doesn't want to impose anything on me.

If I were neurotypical it might've been perfect

Anyway, I go through a couple more suicide attempts (different method each time). Some more home treatment team crisis visits. Then I get onto this Schema therapy thing, which I do on video call (Covid y'know). It's like the next level up from cbt. And time passes. I like the therapist. She makes me feel safe and confident. I think "blimey, this might've done the job" and then it ends and I'm lost. Again.

Then I see a video of Dr. Tony Attwood delivering a talk on Aspergers in Women/Girls https://youtu.be/wfOHnt4PMFo and I share the link with my partner and he comes to me 1 minute later saying he'd seen it weeks ago but didn't know how to broach it with me! 

I've been thinking about asking to be assessed for ASD for the last 10 years, but never had anyone show support when I threw out a tentative e enquiry. So I didn't. I wish I had trusted myself. 

For me, I'm convinced my mental health issues have been a symptom of being aspie. 

My partner and I are trying different communication techniques based on aspie research, and they seem to be helping (it's early days). 

We don't have kids, so I'm afraid I can't say anything about parenting but, for everything else, based on what I've learned over the last 20 years, is that you really do know yourself. Even when you're telling yourself a little fib - or a massive lie. You know your truth. (whether you admit to it is another thing entirely) 

So have faith in yourself, trust yourself, ask for what you want, be grateful when you get what you need. 

Sorry this was so long. I'm happy to chat if you want. Promise I'll try to be less blathery now I've told you all this background stuff

Txx

I’ve run out of options due to complicated medical history, allergic reactions etc. 

Keep trying with different ones - don't give up.  SSRIs have never suited me but I take mirtazapine now (not saying it will suit you - just saying don't give up).  I also have aripiprazole depot injections which I tolerate fairly well along with the mirtazapine - I tried some stuff that made me feel awful prior to aripiprazole.

Former Member I’m finding medication is no longer working. I really wish the support was sufficient, but it’s just not adequate. 

I used to do a lot of catastrophising about the future - I'm not so bad with that now - now I'm more fixed on past mistakes - I'm getting there slowly with some good meds though.  You can message me if you like, I won't be offended if you don't though.

@NAS72511 really relate to you. Thanks for reaching out to me. 

Hi - I'm 40 and have had lots of mental health problems too (I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder- bipolar type)- I'm now waiting for the result of an autism assessment.  I'm also a parent-  to a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl - they live with my ex since we separated last June.   

Hi I’m in my early 40’s, have been struggling with my mental health for over 3 decades. Not really selling myself, sorry  

Hi, and welcome! I’m an Autistic female, only recently diagnosed in my 40’s. I have been in the mental health system for 20ish years and struggle with many aspects of my life, I think it’s a combination of Autism and mental health issues. I’m not a parent though. Do you fancy telling a bit more about yourself?