Why is this so hard?

It took six years from the initial referral from the general practitioner to both Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services and my local adult autism services to have an initial assessment it took over year later for the second assessment after months of contacting them. I Also Have to wait another six years because it was discussed in my autism assessment that i have Attention deficit disorder before i get a diagnosis for that too. It helps if you general practitioners contacts them regularly to ensure you haven't been lost in the system. 

It wasn’t easy by far but certain things have shown themselves at work, like having meltdowns when things change last minute, not being able to cope when I can’t plan ahead so it kind of came from those discussions. Admitted I had people who didn’t understand and accuse me of lying, but on the opposite side I had support from a lot of people, and I kept pushing for my rights. I would perhaps bullet point your difficulties to help, it depends on whether you can talk to someone well who you can trust? The person I didn’t think I could trust has been the most supportive surprisingly and that has helped me massively and I am now a valued member of staff. It just goes to show that some people can take it seriously and make the adjustments I need to help me succeed in my job. And I guess at the end of the day, that’s what you want, to be able to manage better and that’s a win win for all. 

I, like DreamGirl above me, was told by my work that they wouldn't do a great deal until I had my formal diagnosis. However, as they also mention, the fact that you're even waiting for a diagnosis shows that you don't operate in a "normal" way like other people (nor me - nor most people on this forum).

I think if you just asked for a meeting with your line manager, even just a chat, but asked for it to be added to the record. You could just tell them the truth, almost as you have done in here. The only essential points would be that you're waiting for an assessment which you believe will result in a diagnosis and you'd like to discuss "reasonable adjustments" that could be made that will result in you fulfilling your role better.

You could add as much extra detail as you would like but the above mentions the "essentials". If you keep a record of this conversation - date and time, bullet points etc. this could be useful for you down the line.

What sort of thing did you say to them? I dont know how sort of.. detailed I'm expected to be as such.  If that makes sense.    And like I said to the comment above, I'm so scared I will tell them how I am (which is a major task for me, trying to explain how I feel. My anxiety doesnt cope well at all. Not sure if it's the same for you guys) and then I wont get a diagnosis in the end.  

I've never been so lost and so confused in my life

Thank you 

Thanks for replying!   My employers are very... odd. It was a small business which has grown a lot in the last year so they only care about their employees who do more work than anyone else and that sort of thing so the idea of speaking with them about it is so scary :(    I did try and speak to them about my general anxiety and how much change knocks me and they quite literally ignored me.   It's just so hard!   I do feel better knowing other people have spoken to their employers before a diagnosis. I'm also scared I will tell them about it and then I won't get a diagnosis and that would be so awkward and embarrassing.  

It's really hard when they dont want to hear it 

I'm not expecting anything sooner than the 3 months at all, I just meant is there anything I can do during the wait :)

Hi, I have recently been diagnosed too. My work were aware of it for 2 years prior to me getting a diagnosis. I was struggling a lot with certain things and needed that extra support so I mentioned it. It isn’t silly at all to say something, the fact that you are going through an assessment currently means a lot so it shows your difficulties. My work turned around and said to me that even without the piece of paper saying I had a diagnosis, that it didn’t matter. Entirely up to you but hope this gives you something to think about :) 

Hi there! I hear your pain, I really do.

I had my diagnosis in June but I actually started the process in January 2019.

When I had my ASD diagnosis I was also told I most likely had ADHD and was referred for an assessment. I know I'm going to have to wait a long time for that, too.

With regards to your job. I told my manager when I had my referral. Told them I was going to be getting the diagnosis and asked them to help work with me to see what changes they could make to make life a bit easier for me. Is that something you would feel comfortable doing?

It's frustrating having to wait but seems reasonable to give them the 3 months they said.

Take heart that you're in the process now, even though it'll take some time.