To Get A Formal Diagnosis or Not? ADVICE please!

Yes x 

Yes, I have a thirteen old son.....and I know that being ND rather than NT means that I can offer a different perspective....but not a NT one....I encourage friends, sleep overs etc....and try to step back a little x

Hi Danny, I've been referred and am waiting, who knows how long for.  I feel that I need the official stamp for protection in the future on an official level, not to confirm anything to myself, I know. Like others I am fearful of finally getting to the assessment and not getting a diagnosis but I think I would seek a second opinion. Dr Luke Beardon's book about autism in adults is well worth a read and he advocates that we should be allowed to identify ourselves in the same way as the lbgt community, a notion that had already occurred to me whilst watching the recent gay rights programming on tv.

He also refutes the term diagnosis, suggesting identification instead.

Thank you all for your input, some confirm what my thoughts and feelings were. 

The validation by a professional to say that it’s a real thing I have is important for me. I want to prove to my estranged parents and family that I exist and have something significant. It’s important for me to get some comfort from knowing I’m not crazy or a failure (in work and friendships). Also, how having Aspie’s would affect my eldest daughter, she’s having issues which are confusing her and causing anxiety, I’m worried that I may have passed on the genes to her, if I have then maybe she can get some support and understanding.

does anyone have concerns about their children and Aspie’s?

I would say yes as you've effectively been put at a huge disadvantage in being made to wait, because of your ASD and anxiety. Surely this is one of the times that your official diagnosis should work to help you get a foot in the door.

Hello Danny.  I'm 60 and got my diagnosis a few years ago, in my 50s.  I wanted a diagnosis for personal reasons.  I wanted proper confirmation, on paper, by a professional, that I had a condition.  I'd had enough of going through my life buffeted from pillar to post by mental health people, not understanding what was wrong with me, not knowing why I had difficulties in so many areas of my life.  The diagnosis, when it came, was a 'Eureka' moment for me.  I feel so much better for having it.  It's like I've now got all the answers, and I can hold this thing up to the world and say 'Look!  Here's proof that I'm not crazy!'

I told my manager about it at work, and she was unfazed.  She just wanted a letter confirming it, to go on my file.  But she also said 'If you need anything, just ask.'  I suppose that makes me lucky.  As for other help... there isn't much out there for someone my age.  But it doesn't bother me, really.  That piece of paper is, for me, therapy enough.

I'd always say, to anyone who asks me, go for it.  Why not?  What is there to lose?  But really, it's up to you and how you feel.  Many people choose to stay self-diagnosed, which is fair enough.  But for me, the diagnosis has been priceless.  Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

In fact I tried to appear 'normal' at my latest interview, last week.   And I failed miserably.  I froze when they asked me what I knew about the company and why I wanted to work for them.  I'm very poor at being enthusiastic and giving false praise.  The four hour  wait for the actual interview also drained me mentally.

The recruitment agency invited all of us for 10am.  I was number 11 out of 12 candidates to be interviewed.  And my turn came at 2:10pm.

The big question is should I admit to having autistic traits and ask for special treatment.

In my case, I was advised to get a formal diagnosis so when I encountered problems at work and job interviews (which I always do). I would be protected by disability discrimination legislation.

I’m going to talk to my GP on Thursday,  but for me it’s wanting validation. I’ve always been odd, always had quirks, and, until recently, accepted them as me.  Autism was a remote reason for them.  All that changed when several people independently suggested it.  I now want to know if autism is the reason why I’ve felt different all my life, why I don’t get stuff.  I’m not sure how I’ll feel if it turns out I’m not autistic!

Hi Danny.....I have a full time job, a part time job, and am a parent......I could seek diagnosis...but also am not sure what benefit it would bring apart from being able to request adjustments at work and a bit more protection....I seem high functioning and coping....and the waiting time varies a lot x