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How do you deal with ignorant comments?

iris

Hi all, my first post so bear with me! :) 

I was diagnosed in April this year at 38. It didn’t really come as a shock to me or my family. I was pleased in a way because I know the reason I am the way I am, and now I try to embrace my true self because I feel I’ve masked enough during my life. 

I’ve struggled today though. I told a “trusted” colleague at work and was met with an attitude that has made me wish I hadn’t. They questioned whether I was actually medically diagnosed (I am but it shouldn’t matter?) they then said that the differences I have and struggle with are “things everyone deals with lumped under the name of autism”. I was gobsmacked by this comment. 


I feel completely foolish that I trusted this person when usually I’m extremely private. Although I am aware that it’s their problem and not mine. I just wished I’d kept quiet. I thought this person would be supportive - how wrong I was. 

No one else is aware of my autism at work and I’ve been reluctant to tell others because it doesn’t affect my work and I believe peoples attitudes will change around me. I’ve occasionally heard people use the terms “spectrum” and “autistic” as a means to insult others. This offends me and scares me into not saying anything. 

I realise I’m lucky that I have my immediate family’s support, not everyone has that and I appreciate it. I just wonder if anyone else has struggled with telling friends, colleagues etc? How did you deal with ignorant comments?

  • I have worries at work like you. I've not told anyone at work. But they laugh at the guy in the office who they think is autistic and laugh at the lady there who they think is 'weird' who I think is autistic. This goes for my line manager as well.

    They also have made comments about how "everyone is wanting to get diagnosed with autism" for financial reasons.

    I meanwhile am mortified and failing at my own masking.

    It makes me despair of people in general.

  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    Thank you, I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking such a comment was as bad as I thought it was. 

    I shall absolutely be overthinking it for days See no evilJoy 

    I feel better for getting it out though. It’s nice to find people that understand Relaxed

  • Hi Iris. Welcome!

    Their reaction was awful. It's such a shame that this happens a lot, and sometimes even from family.

    Truthfully, how do I deal with comments... by it whirring around my mind for days on end. I think a lot of other people here do to. We are prone to rumination.

    At least you have us to listen and maybe give good (and bad) advice.

  • in reply to I Sperg

    I enjoy a bit of sarcasm too Joy 

    I mostly just felt an idiot today because I opened up (which I don’t often do) then got met with a not particularly nice comment. 

  • Like I deal with any hard competition. I do my best to keep my face straight, my demeanor non-comittal, and if there's any slightest chance that I'm not quite sure how to take it, I keep being nice. It's not their fault that I dont; understand their bullsh7t it's my own limitations.

    Occasionally I get all my ducks in a row, and start hacking away with the sword of truth, the one with the withering sarcasm engraved upon it.... 

    As a contractor, you can really come to enjoy sarcasm iin the workplace.