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How do you deal with ignorant comments?

iris
2 months ago

Hi all, my first post so bear with me! :) 

I was diagnosed in April this year at 38. It didn’t really come as a shock to me or my family. I was pleased in a way because I know the reason I am the way I am, and now I try to embrace my true self because I feel I’ve masked enough during my life. 

I’ve struggled today though. I told a “trusted” colleague at work and was met with an attitude that has made me wish I hadn’t. They questioned whether I was actually medically diagnosed (I am but it shouldn’t matter?) they then said that the differences I have and struggle with are “things everyone deals with lumped under the name of autism”. I was gobsmacked by this comment. 


I feel completely foolish that I trusted this person when usually I’m extremely private. Although I am aware that it’s their problem and not mine. I just wished I’d kept quiet. I thought this person would be supportive - how wrong I was. 

No one else is aware of my autism at work and I’ve been reluctant to tell others because it doesn’t affect my work and I believe peoples attitudes will change around me. I’ve occasionally heard people use the terms “spectrum” and “autistic” as a means to insult others. This offends me and scares me into not saying anything. 

I realise I’m lucky that I have my immediate family’s support, not everyone has that and I appreciate it. I just wonder if anyone else has struggled with telling friends, colleagues etc? How did you deal with ignorant comments?

Parents
  • 2 months ago

    Do You think it might have been a good idea to inform Your Management at work ?
    That way they can acknowledge and monitor Your well-being in the workplace.
    Equal opportunities and duty of care etc..

  • 2 months ago in reply to Deleted user

    It’s something I often think about, though as it’s only been a few months I’m still coming to terms with it all myself. I will probably end up telling them though it will be when it feels right to me.

    It’s just the first time I’ve dealt with a comment that was rude. Because the only other people that know about my diagnosis have been supportive I naïvely thought this person would be similar but they weren’t. I felt like an idiot Disappointed 

  • 2 months ago in reply to iris

    Try to go easy on Yourself.
    Maybe You confided in Someone too soon.
    ASD ( especially with Myself ) tends to make me talk before i think, then i analyze after and think
    to Myself  " Why did i say that ! )
    Don't feel like an idiot, You are not.
    I think ASD is a bit of a learning curve.
    It is not You, but simply how we are.
    Keep smiling  Relaxed

Reply
  • 2 months ago in reply to iris

    Try to go easy on Yourself.
    Maybe You confided in Someone too soon.
    ASD ( especially with Myself ) tends to make me talk before i think, then i analyze after and think
    to Myself  " Why did i say that ! )
    Don't feel like an idiot, You are not.
    I think ASD is a bit of a learning curve.
    It is not You, but simply how we are.
    Keep smiling  Relaxed

Children
  • 2 months ago in reply to iris

    Hang on in there and keep smiling Iris.  Thumbsup

  • 2 months ago in reply to Deleted user

    It absolutely is a long path and I’m cool with it, it would just be great if others were too. 

    just so nice to be heard and understood about our shared experiences! Blush 

  • 2 months ago in reply to iris

    You'll be o.k.
    Keep plodding on.
    The ASD journey is a long path i suppose.
    You are right, don;t give too much away too soon.
    Hey, if YOU are weird then so am i !   What You posted resonates exactly with My experiences.
    Remember...It is not YOU..it is all the rest of them  Thumbsup

  • 2 months ago in reply to Deleted user

    Thank you Slight smile

    As I’ve gotten older I do share a lot less with people but every so often I do the same thing (talk then analyse!) it’ll be on my mind for days now Joy  You’re probably right that I confided too soon. I’m often too trusting and assume people will treat me how I would them. Unfortunately that isn’t the case and I need to learn that. 

    Thank you for making me feel less weird about it Blush