Antisocial neighbours

Dear Rose,

I feel your pain I am in a nightmare neighbour issue myself . I will tell you about mine and offer you some advice where I can.

Basically my CO Residents have hated my Sister and I we live together and this sorted from day one.They have done things like overuse outside trip lights which disturb sleep and the enjoyment of our house.Piling rubbish and materials against our gable wall. Weoponizing their cars making very nasty comments.We have had our entrance blocked by their drivers and then had a volley of abuse when we ask them to move.On two occasions the Police did at least seek two the drivers.

Here is the irony Police and council know I have Autism and my Sister has OCD I also have anxiety and OCD.Earlier  this year after nearly 2 years of us compiling to the council and Police the council issued me with A CPW which is a Community Protection Warning think of the ASBO.I was also arrested in a very frightening way that I won't go into on this forum.I ma vigorously defending these false accusations but my life is hell.basically the Council will not provide any evidence and the Police evidence is just mob witness priming and no real hard facts.

So for you I would say-

1- You should tell Police and council you have Autism despite my experience they should make reasonable adjustments.

2- The Police should agree to come out to you they could do this in non uniform and plain clothes.

Please I really hope you will not give up non euro divergent people in  y experience do not get us but the Police and Council are meant to understand.I would also say in your case it sounds like there should be arrests and custodians for what is going on and then the Council and Police should try and bring parties together to create a safe environment 

Would be possible to have a private meeting with the fellow residents? The ones who are experiencing the same issue? Then after a while, give the evidence to the landlord. Do you have any support? E.g a social worker?

This works as at training college a tutor was bullying everyone (her dad was unwell); three of us who were students decided to have a private meeting in a fellow student accommodation room. Was very useful. Now the college is a retirement village with antisocial behaviour (there's a footpath to the retirement village without any security); 

Current neighbours don't understand security as back gate is always open and windows during the day. 

In 2015 had a nervous breakdown and ended up mediation which helps.

Hang on in there.

I sympathise with how exhausting this ongoing situation must be for you.

Although I can understand why you feel like you've had enough of complaining to the police and local authority about your nuisance neighbours, I would urge you not to give up. Try to hang in there, at least until the court stuff is out of the way and you know what the outcome is.

I wish you well.

Thank you all for your kind advice. I have cancelled the appointment. you see because of the neighbours behaviour the police are up in the building a lot, often they will force the neighbours door down, and arrest him then after a few days he is back out again, he has a court appearances a lot, one of which i am to be a witness too. But often he is released and has a tag round his foot instead of going to jail. It has been a nightmare. The police had been nice and try their best, but the current laws etc mean that their best efforts are squashed by the guy being free to do the acts again. He has a drug gang in and out of the building lots, and I am left often unable to go out of my own flat for a simple walk. I am so tired, as I have been to the police in the village, and the police have visited me often for footage as I have a door bell camera, sometimes the police want to see footage in the middle of the night, and wake me up, I try my best to help the police by letting them in to see the footage as they need to know if they are in their flat before forcing entry for example. Its got to the stage where I feel like giving up and letting the other neighbours complain instead. I cant take all this on my shoulders any more. One police person joked to me once saying that it is as if I work for the police. i need my sleep and I get so frightened at the door being knocked at night . I trust the police and have did my best to help. But nothing is happening the man has not been moved on by the housing. I think that maybe he must be related to someone in the housing. One week the police must have been up almost every day and sometimes at night, that is how bad it is here. The guy and his friends shout, they have harassed me i have a disabled sign on my door and the woman has shouted "freak" at my camera doorbell, calling me a freak. I have always managed to avoid them and our paths have never crossed despite them always being in the close, as I avoid going out when they are loitering in the close. I am tyring desprately to get a home elswhere, I cant do private rent too expensive and private do not let me make the changes I need for my disability. So I am pretty much stuck. The man on the ground floor was so terrified he inhertied money so he was able to move after years of bullying from the couple. and the lady who used to live below me was also terriified she passed away, I think she would have lived longer had she not been bullied by the couple. This is all happening in a nice pocket of the city, this is supposed to be a good area. The private flats in the area are sought after, and it is in a beautiful area, since the couple moved in though it has impacted the whole street. 

Tell them that you have transit issues straight out. Don't delay. They may arrange transit for you if they have a vested interest in the issue.

Often if some one asks you to do a thing that they think is easy, they need to simply know that it is not. This strategy saves me from stress. Knowing

As the situation you find yourself in (with your antisocial neighbours) is exacerbating your anxiety, my advice would be to get in touch with your neighbourhood policing team, explain you are autistic and ask if it is possible for them to visit you, or for a meeting to take place at the village police station.

I think this is one of those situations where it is best to be completely honest with the police about your autism, and why visiting their office at the industrial site would be distressing for you.

If you visit the website of the police force for the area you live, you should be able to find the contact details of your local neighbourhood policing team listed somewhere on the website. The contact details are likely to include an e-mail address.

Dear Rose, I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your antisocial neighbours-it sounds so awful and like a really difficult situation to be in-and I can understand why you're feeling anxious about the upcoming meeting with the community police. 

It's so important to prioritize your own well-being and comfort and if going to their office in the industrial estate is causing you distress, it's completely ok to cancel the appointment. You can reach out to the community police by phone or email (probably easier) to explain your concerns and discomfort with the location of their office. You can also ask if there are alternative ways to communicate or if they can arrange a meeting in a more accessible and comfortable location for you-like the village police station that you mentioned. Remember, it's important to advocate for yourself and your needs, and there's no shame in expressing how much this is understandably distressing for you.

If you can't get anywhere with them then try Citizens Advice-they should be able to advise you on what best to do and who to contact. 

I really hope you're ok and you'll be able to find a solution to all of this. Please take care and reach out for support when you need to. Xx

Rose said:

I did not want to say that I am autistic as I mask well and come across neurotypical.

I think you will find that by telling the police this, they will make alternative plans (eg meet at your home or the village post office). Explain the issue with the environment being stressful for you and that you have transport issues and they should be ok with it.

I have always found them fairly reasonable to talk to when you are essentially helping them.

Rose said:

How do I cancel the appointment?

Did they leave a contact card with you? There should be an email address that you can write to.

If not, do you have someone you can use to call them and explain? This may be faster and less stressful.