Should I be feeling this as well??

I never went to nursery, I only ever played with one other child before I went to school, so you can imagine my shock, it was so loud and they all knew how to do things I didn't, like sharing. I wasn't selfish, being an only child I'd never had to share before. I think I started speaking at about the "right" time.

I think women do mask more, because female society is more about interactions than about things. You can see this if you watch even small children play, boys play together with an object and everyything is about that object, girls its about how they relate to eachother around the object. I think with girls it's more about "we" and less about "I", older children and teenagers itbecomes more extreme, boys seem to know via a few grunts and osmosis whats happening, where and when, whereas girls spend ages talking about arrangements, who's meeting who, where, when and what every bodies going to wear etc. I think some of this is about physical safety, lone women are seen as vulnerable in a way that lone men arn't. But I have this theory that humans are like many other herd mamals where you get single sex groups that stay together often for generations and lone males who will either turn up when a female is ready to breed and then disapear again like elephants, or will stick around to protect his offspring, like lions.

Hehe yes!
Well at the end of the day, we all need each other in some shape or form. Maybe that's what drives us?! Even unknowingly at times.

Yeah it's funny when you really think about it!

Pretty much all the time I see things very objectively and probably too literally, I'm analysing life as it goes by thinking it's all very odd how people are much like sheep, mindlessly following herds.

But then I try to fit in. It's a big contradiction.

It's  fascinates me & confuses me at the same time! So many Autistic peeps make this massive effort to fit in with others. And others often expect it. It makes me wonder how many non-Autistic people try to fit in with the Autistic people around them.
Who knows, one day there may be more Autistic people that not. Maybe this is evolution

No, I don't think you come across as being arrogant at all. 

I just remember myself when I was younger and imagine that's how I would have been perceived as that's how I behaved, very headstrong thinking I was right and the world was wrong. Academically I was head and shoulders above the rest in primary, but then the social nightmare of high school meant I got so distracted I didn't do any better than average. I'll never know if I could have done better.

I've done well with my career, but often wonder if a lot of that was a catch-up after the first ten years were on a different track until I had some sort of realisation, then started a new career path, so could have been a lot better or at least sooner.

I started off on one extreme and then ended up on the other.

I'd like to move the dial I have from Being overly worried about my difference to aware of it. So I can be conscious of where I might need to be careful around others, but not convinced that I'm always doing the wrong thing and wasting the stress worrying if I have. I often go along with way too much out of fear that I'll upset people if I don't.

My therapist says it's a lack of self worth, which is useful for being analytical and improving where you need it, but not good in terms of self loathing and confidence.

Interesting you say that about the difference between men & women. I have read that women seem to be able to mask more easily in social situations.

I was sent to nursery at the age of 4 because I wasn't talking. I do remember some yrs before I hit my teens my mothers crying saying " why don't you talk to me". I felt confused about her emotional outburst & as to why I needed to speak. I did not see the problem. I would talk at that stage if I had something to say but I found it so tiring & arduous, even confusing. I couldn't see the point of replying to "how was your day" etc. I had obviously made it to the end of it! (Sorry if this comes across as arrogant or rude. But at that stage in my life I just didn't "get it"!)

In my teens being sociable wasn't of interest so I people watched. I found this very enjoyable. I philosophised as to why people reacted as they did. Why they asked certain questions. Why they chose that colour to wear. What influenced their choices. Etc. Etc. My head never stops thinking about these things all the time.
I then became more aware of the social aspect of peoples lives & the fact that I could also influence, make someone happy or even make them smile or laugh by something I had said or done. I caused a positive reaction/outcome. This then became a project of mine. To, as I call it "play the game"! And I love games!  I guess this can be interpreted as Masking to a certain degree when I play, but I think it encompasses much more than that.

As Autiscian said a lot of for me started at secondary school, although the upper years of primary school wern't good either. I think that often fitting in socially is more of a femle thing than a male one, although I'm not saying males don't have their own social fitting in problems, just that being female I don't know what they are or how they manifest. I think female society is much more tightly knit and important when you're a teenager, you're expected to conform to certain things, how to dress, what make up, music and stuff I dont' really understand. I think theres always a sort of push-pull thing in female friendships, that I've not experienced in friendships with men. If you can not worry about such things then I think its great, it's something I still battle with, years of beatings, bullyings and general nastiness have made me aware that I don't do things "properly " without knowing what "properly " is, most of the time now I just do without people as they're to much hard work.

I have been through stages of life where I've felt like my own ghost, watching my life happening as if to someone else, for me that was a sign of depression and the need to reengage and sort out what was stopping me.

Thank you TheCatWomen

Worry isn't really something I have to deal with much. I tend to see it as a waste of time when I could be putting my mind to better use.
But I feel that is a failing of mine & I don't mean that as an insult or disrespect to others either. I understand those feeling are genuine & that is how others deal with events in their lives. I guess my mind just doesn't work in that way. 
Much worry is cause by fear which I don't own a lot of.

I am more like a fly on the wall watching someone (myself) as they journey through life. Quite dethatched at times. I doubt this is a good thing!
But this is who I am.

 And like you say, it is okay to be different

Thank you for your reply Iain & for the compliment.

I understand. And I have never been good as a follower. I always find ways of heading in my own direction hehe! 
There are things I would like to do in life, but if they don't happen, they don't happen.

Maybe because of my life experiences I have learnt to take each day as it comes & to do whatever I can to make the best of that day.

I believe we have a choice in what we do. And that's not to say if something bad happens that I am not upset about it. I may even cry about it. But then you have to take the next step in your life's journey & it is up to you which path you take.

Do I come across as arrogant also? I don't feel it or intend to be that way.
I just see things as facts, many or which I cannot change. So I accept & move forward to get the best out of what has happened or is happening. 

My question above was not out of worry. Just realising the different between myself & many others peeked my interest/curiosity.

I hope you can find some peace in your mind Autisician. 

Feel free to PM me if you'd ever like to chat. 

When I was a kid I didn't have any of the worries about being different that i have had since then, about 12 or 13 years old it all kicked in with the social nightmare they call high school.

While I was ignorant before of how much I could be seen as  arrogant etc, a bit of that now would feel better than self hate.

So if I were you don't worry about these things, it's not good to worry and only makes us feel rubbish about ourselves.

... .... .- -.. --- said:

Should I be worried that I don't feel any of these things?

My opinion is no - you should not be worried.

It is better to be content in what you do and feel than to try to be a sheep and do what the others do.

Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) is a big problem for so many people and it makes them do stupid stuff to try to fit it, but to what end?

To me is sounds like you have a very healthy approach to this subject.

If some of the things that worry others don't worry you then don't worry about not worrying. I'm sure there are plenty of things that worry you, but wouldn't worry me or some others. It's OK to be different, even and especially when ones autistic.