Published on 12, July, 2020
I had what I consider my final session today, it's not her, it's me. It's on me to fix my problems and move on now.
I wish I could have addressed my rejecting of my autism in the past, my repressed sexuality, or my general disappointment in humankind, but alas those subjects were perhaps beyond her charity mandated training. (Mind Swansea)
I just reiterated the same junk and she and I just didn't connect at all. 50 minutes is a small window so I couldn't delve into the stuff that mattered and I said my goodbye over email.
Also I'm tired of talking about myself and the person on the other side of the room not giving a ***. A paying client more than a person. I might as well take a vow of silence and stay in the background.
Please don't try to convince me to try again, I have been pushing my luck with the local services for years and I've just about run out of chances.
It would be interesting to try an experiment where if you get a counselor again say to them if they convince you they actually care about you, you will give them a cash bonus at the end of a session.
It's such a disapointment when you've screwed up your courage to see a counsellor and you don't get on, or they don't respond in the way you want.
I have to say in her defence though, that counsellors are taught not to over run a session and if needed to cut someone off. It's about setting boundaries, sometimes it's really hard as the client is only just opening up, but other clients always want to push the boundaries.
Some styles of counselling are more on the listening side and less on the challenging side, it sounds as though the one you had was a listener and not a challenger. Some people will feel totally unheard and get upset by even the gentlest challenge, it's a hard line to walk with any client and you only really get the balance right as the relationship developes.
If you seek counselling at some point in the future, then it may be worth researching different counselling styles and types and asking what model the person you're seeking help from practices. Some will get in a huff about being asked questions like that, but I think they're the people to be avoided.
I can only speak from my side, but I think my therapist was a bit patronising, didn't really challenge my beliefs or get me to see things from the other side, and cut me off when I was speaking about being bullied in school when the 50 minutes were up. Her displays of empathy felt artificial and rehearsed, and I already knew I was done.
Yes because on here you're talking with people who don't quote from self help leaflets and have no experience of real life ..in here when you speak to people they know theyve been there and speak on a level you can resonate with..
I think you should do what you feel is right. The sessions are for your benefit so if you don't feel you get any then it's not worth doing.
I'm about 10 sessions in now and I feel like eventually I'll want to go sort things and move on myself. It's been good to get a perspective on things and be able to offload some of my thoughts, having that other point of view has been good so far. It's good to have help with the anxiety and mental health issues that autism causes us, especially for me after diagnosis. but other than that you can't cure us, there's nothing wrong with us, we're just different so need help fitting in with the rest of life.
As long as you feel you have the support you need, even if that's just talking on here, you should do what you feel works for you.
You need to do what you feel is right for you. I wish you the best. X
I'm undergoing treatment from mental health and I find them uncaring and unhelpful a lot of the time. One night I called the emergency number they gave me and the woman said that I should call a friend, and when I said I had no friends she suggested I watch a movie or read a book and then hung up on me. I've received more support here than I have from the professionals.I completely understand why you're feeling you want to move on from your counselling. It's up to you what you want to do from here. Whatever you decide I wish you well.
Good point I find a mix of medication and alternative therapy works for me. I use B6 vitamins for alternative therapy they work for me. I tried CBD before and it just made me paranoid and anxious dunno why it affected me like that when it’s not supposed to be psychoactive or anything like that. There’s some evidence that cannabis can have the opposite effect in autistic people than it has with neurotypical folks. B6 is great though for me.
I'm thinking aloud but I feel healthcare is undergoing a paradigm shift from being cared for to caring for ourselves as people find alternative treatments more effective.