Feelings

I'm the same. But I don't really want emotions and don't see why we have to give them names. Facts are much easier to deal with. I think I'm really a Vulcan, but without the pointy ears.

yes, I struggle with the same thing, it leads me to have this emptiness that just takes over me

I researched this term and it's definitely useful to know that it's common amongst people with autism. I think I heard this term before and it sounded so awful to me when I was undiagnosed and I didn't even know that I didn't understand my feelings. I guess it's just experience that helps, when I get to understand myself better.

I understand. I sometimes feel as though I'm helpless because I can't always understand the trigger of it, thus understanding a solution if that makes sense.

That's actually really useful- I didn't realise how many different emotions there are! I'll have a look at that next time I get unexplained emotions. Ah schema therapy sounds interesting. As a psychology student I understand that schemas are categories people use to understand the world, so what does schema therapy involve?

This is very helpful. I completely relate to your 'dead time' explanation. I feel as though boredom creates a lot of sadness to me as I feel like I'm not following a routine or being productive. I'll be finishing uni for the summer next week and I'm already getting stressed about/ but excited too. I've written a long list of things I can do if I feel as though I need a task. I'm also going to try and keep a somewhat regular morning routine, just so I feel  a little less 'lazy' too. Thank you for your response.

Alexithymia - wow, that's a really useful term, thank you JuniperFromGallifrey, that's a really useful term and very interesting to read about.

NAS94025 - welcome to the family .  What you describe and what Juniper succinctly describes is the central core of Autism. Hans Asperger first described ASD comparing it against the rest of the populations "instinctive" ability to act to social ques and situations based on an inbuilt automatic understanding of emotions and behaviours.

To be autistic is to be involved in a complex boardgame that we're all playing but 1-3% of the population haven't been shown the rules, and we've just got to watch the game and try and work it out on the fly.

The reason we struggle to understand others emotions could well be down to a difficulty understanding our own.  In the last 4 weeks I've experienced starting a brand new job after 7 years, everyone asking me "are you nervous" and me having to respond "I've no idea what you're talking about sorry".  Also a close relative being gravely ill, knowing I should be in someway upset by it, but in no way feeling upset by it.  My Autism prevents me from accessing any "sadness" but my understanding of the world so far tells me I should act in a sad way so as not to upset other people (because they are probably sad and to see someone appearing not interested would be hurtful) - and loads of other things like this!!

In short - not understanding emotions is Autistic NORMAL, you are so normal.

Secondly - I have to fill my life with activity to prevent dead time.  The reason is the moment I have mental dead time when I'm not thinking about something, my memory and sadness takes over and pulls out every poor decision, argument, playground teasing, relationship conflict, dream broken, times wasted moment I've ever had and run it over and over in my mind.

I've not found a way of beating it yet, but knowing I do it helps to prewarn me.  I know, tomorrow morning, Saturday, I'm going to be cleaning the kitchen, I know during times like that often the sadness takes over.  So I listen to music, sing, talk to myself - stupid things to keep my brain occupied.  It's impossible to hold any thoughts in your head when you're singing Pearl Jam at top volume

If you Google the “Emotional Wheel” that may help you identify how you’re feeling, though it may not necessarily give you an explanation.

I’m just coming to the end of 2 years in ‘Schema’ therapy which has provided a lot of answers to my emotional world and I’m grateful for that.

maybe.... sadness and anger are easy, whether the anger is a overlap and cover of sadness and thus fake is a question i suppose, although anger fuels productivity. sadness makes you more lazy and a quitter.

but yeah often people ask me how i feel, i dunno... i feel normal.... no feeling, void... not sure. default nothingness.

Feelings aren't facts.

I tend to wing it, with challenging scenarios.

Welcome! There's a term for this. It's called Alexithymia, and most of us are like this. It's apparently to do with a struggle with interception, accessing vocabulary, and might just be part of feeling being too much all at once and/or with growing up with a difference in communication and not relating with others to the degree that they often misrepresent you.

I've managed to sort most of my feeling into a few categories as I've gotten older (starting with confused), but often just replace a 'feeling' or 'emotion' with what is actually happening, which often seems to suffice.