Published on 12, July, 2020
I have reached the lowest of the low and I feel like what is the point. I have tried telling Rikki how I feel and what I need in life. All I want in life is a friend I can eat junk food with to snuge up to if I’m feeling low a shoulder to cry on when I need it but Rikki doesn’t understand the bond between us is unreal we have both been there for each other after my mum died he was there after s heart attack and open heart surgery I was there for him and when I’ve had my low moments he been there. Two autistic adults there for one another but recently that hasn’t happened today I thought unblocked me we can speak only for me to *** things up again and he does block me again. He says my behaviour is toxic but I don’t mean it to be just need a friend I can snuggle up to a shoulder tcry on and a friend I can eat junk food with to make me feel better but Rikki can’t see that at the moment how can I help him see it? How can I help him understand?
This is going to sound harsh, but having read the ongoing saga of your friendship troubles and the things that you have done (and posted about), I think that your friend has maybe had enough.
What sounded like a good freindship has now potentially been ruined by your want for more / misreading the situation.And then we have the posts you made about drinking, vaping, weed....not good signs and could be an indication of your personality traits. Maybe that is why your friend doesn't want to have anything to do with you.
What you need to be really careful about is continuing to push the matter and not take "no" for an answer - that could lead to some serious consequences inlcuding claims of harrasment, intimidation or stalking.
To me (and I may have interpretted things completely wrong), the best thing you could do is move on.
After spending time away from the bottle and by ringing the Samaritans lost count how many times I realise that I have been overwhelming Rikki a lot and he needs time away from me. I have been putting pressure on him that he doesn’t need right now and this explains why I’ve been making things worse when I’ve tried to make things get better again.
Hello Rach91. I'm sorry to read of your situation, it sounds difficult and frustrating for you. But I think Sparkly is right, give Rikki some time as he's probably feeling so many different emotions right now as he tries to process what you've told him. If you pressure him it could push him further away from you so I would suggest the same as Sparkly, give him all the time he needs and wait until he's ready to talk to you about it.I can hear how much he means to you and that's really lovely to hear. It sounds like you have something special and I hope he feels the same way about you.
Based on what you have written here, and the content of your previous posts, I think the way forward is to back off and give your friend space.
You have explained to him how you feel, which is all that you can do. Right now, I think the more you attempt to make contact with him, the more likely you are to push him further away. Obviously, I don't know you and I don't know him, but I cannot help but wonder if he is feeling overwhelmed and in need of time and space to think about how he truly feels, and what it is he wants.If your friend has decided that he no longer wishes to continue a friendship with you, then as hard as it may be, I think you need to respect that. Otherwise, I think it is likely that he will just end up resenting you for trying to force something on him that he may no longer want.For now, why not focus on your other friendships? In time, maybe your friend Rikki will decide he wishes to resume the friendship and will reach out to you. What seems clear to me is that the way things have played out during recent weeks doesn't seem to have been doing either of you any good.
Let me propose you a question, maybe there is a man out there who is more awesome?