Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
Ihad my assessment for ASD yesterday and was confirmed a diagnosis. I got diagnosed with ADHD at the start of last year and I have just turned 24 years old, and I’m female. I’m just having a huge issue with processing it. I’m kind of in a bit of a mental health crisis at the moment, really struggling to work and generally keep my head above water. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after a diagnosis and it’s really hard to process all the feelings. I’m mostly struggling with it, there was a lot of relief at first but now I’m really scared. I think that because I know it’s part of my mental health struggles it’s worrying me because it’s never going to go away. I know there is a lot of good that comes from me being autistic but I’m struggling to accept I’m going to need help for the rest of my life. I’m already just so tired already, and it hurts to know I can’t change the fact I suffered alone and unrecognised for so long. Really finding it hard to see how it can help at the moment, I know it will and has made me understand myself better but now I do just know I’m different, and I’m so much more aware of it. not sure how to navigate this world that isn’t meant for me.
Your conditions are a PART of you,that is what makes you,you !You are unique.Normal simply means being Yourself.Do not compare Yourself to others, You only have to answer to Yourself !Accept this, and a huge weight will vanish from Your shoulders !All the best
Well, you are different. But that's okay! We all are. It's always best to be able to understand yourself.
I love the analogy - very much applies to my experience as well!
Thank you for your wonderful advice. It’s hard to accept the polarising feelings of knowing this will help me and knowing it has hurt me (if that makes sense) but it makes it a lot easier to know others feel similarly.
pinkapple said: it hurts to know I can’t change the fact I suffered alone and unrecognised for so long
I think there will be many of us here who went through (or are still going through) this same shared experience. You are not alone in the awareness though each of us are impacted different.
As an analogy: I stumbled into Autism through a back door. Literally tripped over it. And perhaps with decades behind me and a wealth of philosophy, I could already see this chasm between Typical and Divergent, just without those particular definitions.
If I can offer any advice, it would be this: You have a great deal of undiscovered potential yet to tap into. Allow yourself time and space to heal from the past, peel off layers of social expectations which are not aligned with your deeper and truer self. Find and follow your desires. There is a space to be which is beyond/outside of moral judgement and this is where real sight is found.
This is a great link, though it's classic 'Autism' how we're always using NT phrases like Imposter Syndrome wrong haha. It actually means fear of being discovered as a fraud (not fear that I don't fit in or that I don't measure up or someone still in progress). It describes a struggle to be authentic and is part and parcel a very NT experience.
Denial from a lack of relating with various traits and therefore an other isn't a syndrome just a part of a process toward awareness. :)
This was very helpful, thank you. Some of my family are telling me ‘you’re not different, you’re still you, this is a positive thing’ and I know it is but I just want to be heard when I say I’m struggling and grieving.
Hello,
getting a diagnosis is quite a life changing moment and it can take time to process it. Like many here, it has been a long journey for me and I am still learning and always will be as on going research presents more findings and ideas. I see my autism as a positive and I hope this is the case for you too. I wish you well with your journey.
Welcome. There are ups and downs, post diagnosis...periods of elation and relief, periods of doom and despondency.....but the vast majority of people I have seen write here (and myself included) seem to settle down with a new fulcrum point eventually from which you can leverage your extra skills and extra deficits to reach a point of contented self acceptance. It takes time, but it does all settle...for most....from what I have perceived from the many people who write here.
Don't panic, stay safe and stay sane.
Kind regards
Number
Welcome
There is no right or wrong way to process a diagnosis. Your own personal journey will be unique and it will take time. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should be feeling.
I've described my own journey as an emotional rollercoaster. Mine started with immense relief and went through several stages, both positive and negative. Even after nearly 4 years I don't think I'm completely off that rollercoaster yet.
This article describes some common reactions. You won't necessarily experience all of them but hopefully it might help you realise that you're not alone.
https://aucademy.co.uk/2022/01/20/six-common-reactions-during-autistic-discovery/
Hi Tris, thank you so much for replying. It helps to know that I’m not alone in this worry. Everyone is telling me it’s great I finally have answers but I’m scared.
Yeah, I found that really hard to deal with too. I felt safe by convincing myself that I wouldn't have another mental health disaster because it was caused by ____, so if I didn't _____ I'd be okay. But then the 3rd time (2022) I was told I was probably autistic and that was at the root of my anxiety issues. So I'm trying to understand my brain better so I can use that to cope better, but yeah, it's very difficult to know how to make progress in that and scary to think of having to deal with some degree of it for the next 50 years.
I wish I had constructive advice, but I'm not there either so... welcome to here and I hope you can heal soon.