Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
Ihad my assessment for ASD yesterday and was confirmed a diagnosis. I got diagnosed with ADHD at the start of last year and I have just turned 24 years old, and I’m female. I’m just having a huge issue with processing it. I’m kind of in a bit of a mental health crisis at the moment, really struggling to work and generally keep my head above water. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after a diagnosis and it’s really hard to process all the feelings. I’m mostly struggling with it, there was a lot of relief at first but now I’m really scared. I think that because I know it’s part of my mental health struggles it’s worrying me because it’s never going to go away. I know there is a lot of good that comes from me being autistic but I’m struggling to accept I’m going to need help for the rest of my life. I’m already just so tired already, and it hurts to know I can’t change the fact I suffered alone and unrecognised for so long. Really finding it hard to see how it can help at the moment, I know it will and has made me understand myself better but now I do just know I’m different, and I’m so much more aware of it. not sure how to navigate this world that isn’t meant for me.
pinkapple said: it hurts to know I can’t change the fact I suffered alone and unrecognised for so long
I think there will be many of us here who went through (or are still going through) this same shared experience. You are not alone in the awareness though each of us are impacted different.
As an analogy: I stumbled into Autism through a back door. Literally tripped over it. And perhaps with decades behind me and a wealth of philosophy, I could already see this chasm between Typical and Divergent, just without those particular definitions.
If I can offer any advice, it would be this: You have a great deal of undiscovered potential yet to tap into. Allow yourself time and space to heal from the past, peel off layers of social expectations which are not aligned with your deeper and truer self. Find and follow your desires. There is a space to be which is beyond/outside of moral judgement and this is where real sight is found.
I love the analogy - very much applies to my experience as well!
Thank you for your wonderful advice. It’s hard to accept the polarising feelings of knowing this will help me and knowing it has hurt me (if that makes sense) but it makes it a lot easier to know others feel similarly.