Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
Ihad my assessment for ASD yesterday and was confirmed a diagnosis. I got diagnosed with ADHD at the start of last year and I have just turned 24 years old, and I’m female. I’m just having a huge issue with processing it. I’m kind of in a bit of a mental health crisis at the moment, really struggling to work and generally keep my head above water. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after a diagnosis and it’s really hard to process all the feelings. I’m mostly struggling with it, there was a lot of relief at first but now I’m really scared. I think that because I know it’s part of my mental health struggles it’s worrying me because it’s never going to go away. I know there is a lot of good that comes from me being autistic but I’m struggling to accept I’m going to need help for the rest of my life. I’m already just so tired already, and it hurts to know I can’t change the fact I suffered alone and unrecognised for so long. Really finding it hard to see how it can help at the moment, I know it will and has made me understand myself better but now I do just know I’m different, and I’m so much more aware of it. not sure how to navigate this world that isn’t meant for me.
Welcome
There is no right or wrong way to process a diagnosis. Your own personal journey will be unique and it will take time. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should be feeling.
I've described my own journey as an emotional rollercoaster. Mine started with immense relief and went through several stages, both positive and negative. Even after nearly 4 years I don't think I'm completely off that rollercoaster yet.
This article describes some common reactions. You won't necessarily experience all of them but hopefully it might help you realise that you're not alone.
https://aucademy.co.uk/2022/01/20/six-common-reactions-during-autistic-discovery/
This is a great link, though it's classic 'Autism' how we're always using NT phrases like Imposter Syndrome wrong haha. It actually means fear of being discovered as a fraud (not fear that I don't fit in or that I don't measure up or someone still in progress). It describes a struggle to be authentic and is part and parcel a very NT experience.
Denial from a lack of relating with various traits and therefore an other isn't a syndrome just a part of a process toward awareness. :)