Late diagnosed - are we over analysing what we do?

George Carlin was a funny genius AND a very astute social observer.

It can't. I've been subject to every method known to man except (ECT) to make me "act normal" as a kid.

Slapping, shouting, interrogation, horsecroppings, apologies, guilt tripping, kicking, weird psychological stuff, and threats of abandonment, with gaslighting and blame casting, even making me write thousands of "lines" from the age of six onwards they tried it all to make me "fly right".

The longest I ever managed was two weeks..

After my childhood, I found Army Basic Training held no fear for me. 

IrishInManchesterUK said:

It’s the same as saying “over-analyse” and it feeds into bullying attitudes and behaviour from bullying Karens and Kevins with bullying, prejudiced attitudes and mindsets who believe and maintain that just like all other mental health issues, autism is nonsense that can be “cured” by ultra strict discipline and especially by corporal punishment 

Yes I completely agree.

It’s the same as saying “over-analyse” and it feeds into bullying attitudes and behaviour from bullying Karens and Kevins with bullying, prejudiced attitudes and mindsets who believe and maintain that just like all other mental health issues, autism is nonsense that can be “cured” by ultra strict discipline and especially by corporal punishment 

Im sorry if this has offended anyone. I will take more care in future. Sometimes i say what i think without considering it fully. Would think have been better rather than over think? From the response to the iriginal post, many can relate. But i do get what your saying x

out_of_step said:

I'd say there's a difference between thinking over different eventualities and problem solving, to unnecessary unhelpful worry.

Yes I completely agree!

I know non autistic people who I would consider to be over thinkers. I'd say there's a difference between thinking over different eventualities and problem solving, to unnecessary unhelpful worry.

Absolutely! Regularly I don’t understand the way non autistic people think, sometimes it’s so surface level.

I just read your other post. Very relatable. Thanks.

Thank you for this.

I love the bandwidth part. And it being your turn. That's totally how I feel! 

In my view, some people have a tendency to underthink.

IrishInManchesterUK said:

The concept of “overthinking” is the same as telling an autistic person that they “don’t understand that they are wrong” by default regardless of the situation and may be considered by some as offensive and insulting - we must be very careful about using such terms like “overthinking” as it is feeding into discrimatory and prejudice-based

I absolutely agree! We don’t over think, we just have naturally analytical and monotropic thought processes!

The concept of “overthinking” is the same as telling an autistic person that they “don’t understand that they are wrong” by default regardless of the situation and may be considered by some as offensive and insulting - we must be very careful about using such terms like “overthinking” as it is feeding into discrimatory and prejudice-based attitudes by those who seem to think and believe that bullying or ultra strict discipline is the only way to “manage” and “cure” autism, which is still considered by many to “come under” “mental health issues” as a way to justify and excuse discriminatory and prejudice-based attitudes behaviour and actions, for which in reality and actuality is a disability - the proper use of language was realised very early on by the LGBT community and for very good reason, given the harm that it can cause in peoples lives 

Around a minute /  minute and a half sounds like my limit too 

The first few minutes of this (Adult humour, George Carlin) reminded me of this conversation!

www.youtube.com/watch

Yes I do think this is something that happens when we are diagnosed later in life. I certainly became a lot more self aware when I realised I was autistic. I believe it's part of the process of unmasking, trying to work out when we might be masking and how. Much of masking is done subconsciously and will have started very early in life.

Justbe said:

What I'm finding though, is that I'm feeling less tolerant and more impatient towards people now. And I want to be around people less. It's really hard not to say, "sorry I'm not interested" or "sorry I don't do small talk". Or "I'm sorry I don't want to listen to all your problems". I feel bad that I feel like this, because it's not the real me. Or is it ?

I can definitely identify with this. The real me doesn't want to be around people much and certainly doesn't want to do any more pointless small talk. I've just posted about it on another thread.

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/mental-health-and-wellbeing/35299/why-is-school-so-hard/343538#343538

If society outnumbers you, it soon becomes YOUR problem, not theirs.

I am also married to an NT...for 23 years. He says he's fine with my situation because I'm the same person I've always been. And of course I am not. Because he knows the masking me...even IF my autistic nature has peeked out occasionally. But he tries very hard to not force me into doing anything I'm uncomfortable with socially. I could go on and on. But I feel like he thinks my needs are, for lack of a better word, "superficial". Like if you're cold you put on a sweater. There is no real sweater for being autistic. It's my core. It can't BE fixed and I am not even going to allow one thought like that in my brain. Being autistic isn't my problem. It's society's to accommodate.

Oh my gosh. You're not just you, I think you may be me too! I feel the same way. I've spent all the bandwidth I intend to making everyone else feel good. It's my turn. I just can't even make myself answer questions I think are dumb or obvious because I refuse to "enlighten" people by way of explaining myself. The answer to why is now simply, "because".
I actually get really angry with myself if I happen to slip back into masking conversationally automatically. It's sometimes better to respond nonverbally with a point or thumbs-up for me. 

I'm a lot more aware of my behaviour since my autism revelation. But I'm also more aware of my needs too. I've always overthought and analysed. 

What I'm finding though, is that I'm feeling less tolerant and more impatient towards people now. And I want to be around people less. It's really hard not to say, "sorry I'm not interested" or "sorry I don't do small talk". Or "I'm sorry I don't want to listen to all your problems". I feel bad that I feel like this, because it's not the real me. Or is it ?

Masking is exhausting.