Joining clubs, classes and groups

I've recently been doing this sort of thing. Going to groups and things. It's really challenging and uncomfortably anxiety provoking. Ive in the past couple of months started going to a board games group, volunteering, and going to a men's yoga class/wild swimming group. All of these I've attended alone. You will not be the weird guy on his own. These groups tend to attract other people that are in a similar situation, that they want to meet new people. In every single one of these groups I've went to I met others that were there alone and for the first time also. They too were there to meet people, just like you. I think people with a number of friends are less likely to join these things sometimes becuase, well, they've got their "people" and may be satisfied with the friendships they've got. 

If your lucky, you might find groups that are very friendly to new comers. The board games group i attended had one of the organisers greeting to hat the door and explaining how it works if you were new. This group was organised through the "meet up" app. The swimming group also offered to do a "buddy" system for newcomers so it doesn't feel as daunting your first time. Many of these types of  groups have new comers in mind.

I compeltley understand how daunting it feels. I came so close to turning and going home jsut as I was entering these things for the first time. I can't say how your experiences will be, but I know from my own experience it has done so much for my confidence and self esteem in being around other people. I would say it's worth a try, much like most things. I would however recommend if you do, then make sure to have a good self care plan/routine afterwards, as regardless of if it goes good or bad, it is pretty exhausting, especially the first couple of times you attend and the anxiety is at its worst.

I hope some of what I've said helps! Please keep us updated if you find yourself trying some of the groups your interested in. We're here to support! 

That sounds really good. I'd be interested if there was something like that in my area. I'm a long way from Cornwall!

I have in the past tried attending all kinds of things alone. I always found it quite overwhelming being around other people and struggled trying to talk to anyone. I never came remotely close to making friends at any of them and didn't really enjoy the experience in the main. I can't tolerate being in group situations where multiple conversations are happening at once.

Over the years I've tried walking groups, a local history group, a birdwatching group, exercise classes, cookery workshops, etc.

The most successful one for me was the local birdwatching group I attended for a few years. I found that easier to tolerate because the people were quieter! They were focussed on watching and listening to the birds, rather than inane conversations with each other.

Yes people do go alone to these things, so you needn't worry about that.

I haven't done anything on my own for a long time. In the past I've tended to join clubs or classes, gone for a week or two, and then left. I just find getting to these things challenging, even if I do sort of enjoy it when I get there. I'm not a member of anything at the moment.

It's funny this should come up because in Cornwall we have this group called "Quiet Connections" which is meetups and activities for quiet, introverted and shy people. I understand some of the members are autistic. There's no expectation that you will speak or contribute, you can turn up a crochet or read a book if you like. I like the sound of it. The nearest one to me is about 15 miles away which is a bit of a pain, but I'm thinking about giving it a go. I don't know if groups like this exist elsewhere.

Welcome to Quiet Connections • Quiet Connections

Well, as I said in another post, people won't get into relationships, be they platonic or not, unless they meet other people.

I've made friends and had relationships through work mainly but a lot of people (as I think you do) work from home.

It's a bit different for females, but I do a lot on my own, even though I'm in a relationship.

Not clubs though as for practical reasons that would be difficult eg. driving at night.

I used to go to an IVC club when I was younger which I joined with a friend mainly because she wanted to be in a relationship.

I was single at the time but quite content.

She did meet a single man there who she is now married to.

There were quite a few single men there but no single women (in the sense of alone, without coming with a friend).

I wish you all the best if you decide to do this.