Joining clubs, classes and groups

My therapist has repeatedly encouraged me to join some kind of club or a meetup group or do a class to get me out of the house and meet people, maybe even make some friends.

I see the point and there are classes I would find interesting, but the thought of going to one of these by myself is just too daunting. I find it difficult not to assume people tend to join these things with a friend and I don’t want to be the weird guy on his own.

Have any of you gone to these things by yourself? Do people really do that?

  • Try not to overthink it. Focus on the good things of going, i.e getting out, meeting someone, making a friend.

    There's so many positives! Blush 

    But I have to do it because you’re Right, I have everything to gain.

    This is what I thought when I started doing groups. I was so anxious at first, I still get that anxiety but I'm so glad I went that first time.

  • There’s a class starting on January 10th that I really should join. I have a bit of an anxiety attack when I think about it though.

    But I have to do it because you’re Right, I have everything to gain.

  • Spain is so close to you. a winter in Valencia. ah.. I would love to return to Spain.

  • Thanks Nathan, you’ve given me hope! I just need a boost of courage now.

  • Yeah I go to loads of stuff like that. It's how I met every person in my life, without any exceptions. I typically attend three dance classes a week. On Saturdays I go to parkrun and go swimming with a group. Once a month I go to mathsjam and attend an online writing group. In January I'm doing a course in aerial circus skills. I sometimes go hiking with a group on Sundays.

    I work from home and live alone which is how I have enough social energy to do this stuff 

    The majority of people I meet through these activities started attending them alone.

    I genuinely don't know how it would be possible to connect with another adult without doing this kind of thing. I guess some people have colleagues?

  • I'm interested in learning Spanish. I always try to pick some language when i visit a place and Spanish seems like a very straightforward language.

  • How did you find an autistic board game group?

  • cafes, that is.

  • My go-to spot too.

  • this sounds wonderful. the eye contact thing isn't too much of a problem, a little goes a long way. What language are you thinking of? Is it an in person class that's the best? excited for you.

    I still have my language exchange partners each week for an hour on skype and we are getting pretty good! the shyness at first, I overcame with a simple children's books and trying to read aloud and listen to my partner read the same lines and then we could have small conversations about what we read. it didn't matter what the subject was, just the ability to communicate and practice that. Spanish is one of the easiest languages.

  • great try: getting to the meetup. they do tend to narrow down. Is there a possibility of starting another meeting with the same group? Perhaps there's other opportunities like that. What are your special interests?

    detecting, fossils, biographies.. maybe a group interest. Do you feel you could start a group, your self?

  • Yes! Can relate to this. I do get those anxious feelings but now I force myself to go because I want to test my own personal comfort levels and get something enjoyable out of my life. Normally it involves masking but for me it's worth it at the end of the day because it got me out and interacting around others, even if it wasn't personal interaction.

    When I went to such clubs and groups I found that nobody judges you in a negative way, in fact no one really notices I'm on my own, I don't think they really care. But I was never just the girl on her own, there were lots of people there on their own and that settled my worries straight away. 
    I've started doing autism groups in my area to raise awareness and offer support and fun, and so far quite a few people have attended this, and quite a lot of people are alone when they come. I try my best to welcome everyone and remind them that it's ok to be on your own. All are welcome to bring someone but if you can't or don't want to then that's fine too.
    I spend most of my time by myself. It used to really bother me, especially when I would go out to places but now it's the norm for me and I don't think about it much. The most important thing is that you go out where and when you want and that you have fun. That's what life is really about, having a good time, whether you're with others or on your own.
    So if you really want to do this then I say go for it! You have everything to gain and nothing to lose :-) 
  • Being around people but separate from them makes me feel worse. I spent my entire uni career going to lectures, labs and tutorials alone, eating lunch alone, all while surrounded by people who were in groups of friends and it made me feel like a ghost, invisible to the living. Not a feeling I’d willingly seek out.

  • I am also a cafe addict. It can be nice to sit at a table on my own but with people around. However I have got to know one or two

    This has always been important to me....but when i found myself totally "down"....it was the main way that i eased myself "back out there."  It is an excellent way for me to feel connected to other humans, simply by being around them.

  • Yes I have been to not classes but social groups. Every first Friday of the month I go to an autism board game afternoon. I also go to an autistic social group that funded by the nhs and it’s great in February we going to our local dog rescue to walk the dogs. I would say yes they are daunting but it’s worth it as you meet others on the spectrum and it’s a great way to socialise. 

  • Hi I am going to a craft class which I love and I started asking some of the attendees if they wanted to go to a cafe afterwards which we now do. Turned into a bit of a social.  I also attend Autism meet ups locally. 

    I also went to a language class for about a year. I met others and got to know them. It was a good experience. 

  • Yes it is best to go for whatever suits you. Some of my local friends don’t like online meetings. 

    www.meetup.com also do in person meetings but I don’t know what is available in Glasgow.

  • In addition, doing an adult learning course gives you topics of conversation and usually you are doing stuff alongside people rather than with them. (Like doing a craft or fitness class) so there's an element of inclusion. Languages I think are a good way to interact because the interaction is purposeful rather than social. I think there's a lot to be said in learning for learning's sake. It doesnt always have to lead to anything concrete but it might ignite something in you.

  • That was beautifully put.. Well said.

  • Hey I think I might be a member of that meet up group! I'm just outside Stirling, so it's very rare that I actually get to any of their events though.

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