Published on 12, July, 2020
As an older person with Autism, I was brought up in very different times with different thinking, values, acceptance, behaviour, etc (1970's & 80's).
The World has changed so much since then - both for better and worse.There have been so many advancements - particularly in science and this has benefitted us ASD'ers immensely.
One thing that is troubling me is that I hold a lot of "principles" that in this day and age would be considered "Old Fashioned", "Traditional", maybe even "Bigotry" or worse.There are things that I struggle to understand or accept which are based on my traditional attitude. I was brought up in an era when....
I openly discuss or rant about these topics along with some others that may be considered taboo with closed friends and family who have all become somewhat numb to my outrageousness / inappropriateness.
I have however managed to "behave" in public (stayed on the right side of the law), but occasionally do mutter things with a level of cowardice.My concern is that now that I am officially autistic, the shackles of having to mask may have been broken and that has the potential of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
thanks Debbie, as usual you see and hear me. I like to think that to be overly exposed to something creates antibodies to it. tee hee.
Thank you for asking - I have resisted the temptation to mention that so far.
Simply answer is that I do not know.My wife has had suspicions for many years and jokingly says that I have "sleep tourettes". I am extremely offensive when I am sleeping. I literally scream my head off with F*** this and F*** that.
Maybe I do have tourettes, but have managed to mask it until now.
Have to dash - off for a big family meal where we are going to find out the sex of our 2nd grandchild!
Do you have tourettes?
What if I don't DECIDE or want / intend to say them, but they still come out?If you re-read my OP, maybe you will notice that part of it.
"My concern is that now that I am officially autistic, the shackles of having to mask may have been broken and that has the potential of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time."
Let's break that down into simpler pieces
That principle cuts both ways, Nathan...
There is a point.
Some of you need to learn to be more tolerant of those who hold differing points of view to your own.
The naked intolerance of the O/P's right to express his point of view, and mobbing behaviour of a certain subgroup of posters on this site is once again on display for all to see.
It's the intolerance and bullying behaviour and claims of victimhood that are vomited forth if you move an inch away from open worship of these minorities that gets up my nose, and the breathtaking levels of hypocrisy and double think that suddenly appears to make all parties look as bad as one another.
As a group, we should know better than to put words into each others mouths and use strawmen arguments against each other.
But the essence of autism seems to be poor social functioning, and inability to work sucessfully as a team member.
After three years here and a great deal of self reflection, I believe now understand why Autism is correctly labelled as a DISORDER of the mind. I believe that the large number of people who leave this site, find as I have on occasion that it's uncomfortably like being an ugly person spending too much time looking at their blemishes in a mirror.
It's better for your mental health to leave the mirror alone and just get on with your day.
This isn't an autistic thing. There have been situations where I've tried to make jokes by copying other people's humour and they've fallen flat, or said something and then been surprised by how it's interpreted, so I get that can happen, and it's always a huge shock when it does, because you thought you'd correctly interpreted the way the NTs were communicating and then it turns out you misread it completely (story of an autistic life). But it sounds like you know in advance that people won't like the specific things you are saying, and then you decide to say them anyway. That's not autism, it's just being obnoxious.
This is most definetly an argument. And GPK26 you are being so friking manipulative. I dont care if you are going to go off saying that im accusing you of stuff and you start acting all innocent and like a victim. Your OP wasnt really the problem, they problem is that people were just trying to give suggestions then you just flat out said you werent going to take them, then when people started getting mad, you act like you start saying you believe one thing but then you say the other thing or you say that you didnt even say the thing at all or that we misread it. And maybe we did misread parts but then you could just own up to the fact that this has gotten out of hand, and just end this thread. maybe people will keep writting but you dont have to keep repsonding and fueling the fire. You dont need the mods to do it for you, if someone was getting beat up in the street and the police were just standing there, are you really just going to watch and let it happen? I just want everybody to shut up. STOP FIGHTING AND MOVE ON TO DIFFERENT POSTS, NOBODY IS GOING TO END UP AGREEING ON THIS SO THERES NO POINT
Why not give it a go yourself?
Actually it is kind of. My mother had a very unusual take on the gay marriage thing. Her position as I understood it was that it probably wasn’t the government business to decide what was and wasn’t a legitimate marriage.
‘she would say why can’t two brothers enter a contract to raise their dead sisters child together as equal parents.’ So I suppose in her reckoning she would’ve said the government should have deregulated marriage and just had some sort of civil partnership system which could be completely divorced from sexual relationships conceptually.
in that system anyone can say that they’ve married anything, they can marry their horse if they want. because the word marriage has no legal status. and churches and philosophers and different groups could have completely different ideas about what a valid marriage is and isn’t.
Please clarify which of the two entirely contradictory positions you actually hold.
You can't not agree with same sex marriage but also think that men should be able to marry men. They are literally the opposite.
GPK26 said:I may not necessarily agree with such things as same sex marriage and I am entitled to take that stance.
And your family is entitled to dislike you and avoid you because of it.
Oh T please do stop with your blinkered interpretation of my OP.Sure, if I had said that I don't think / believe that men should be able to marry men, then absolutely pull me up on it. That would be homophobic and unacceptable in this day and age.
Again, please QUOTE any of my posts where I have categorically stated that men should not be allowed to marry men. I may not necessarily agree with such things as same sex marriage and I am entitled to take that stance.I am not have not criticised anyone on here because of their beliefs - unlike some of the nasty things that have been said to or about me here.
If you don't hate them, why do you rant about them to your close friends and family?
I'm struggling to understand how you can admit to ranting about the fact that these days boys and girls can freely date their own gender, same sex marriage is legal and trans people exist... but you have nothing against these groups. What are the outrageous/inappropriate things you have to say on these topics that aren't homophobic or transphobic?
Again, I don't consider this as arguing, more as discussion & debate.
I watched the One Day video on YouTube and yes, it's a nice song. Very much Lennon's Imagine from the early 80's.
Thing is though, as much as its a nice song with positive message hopes, on the flip side it's quite depressing because that One Day will never come, or at least not in my lifetime. Take a look at the big bad World and all that is going on at the moment.
There is a big bad world out there and as much as why try to hide it, ignore it, pretend that its not there, I'm afraid that it is there and it is real.
The definition of a bigot as I understand it is a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.
Keeping that in mind GPK26 has posted this sharing concerns over their inability to mask as they may say the wrong thing right? It's been suggested and mentioned that to prevent this they could learn and educate themselves on this topic and perhaps open their mind a little. They have then refused to do that and instead have clung to their beliefs. That makes them look like a bigot and that's why I personally have mentioned it.
‘I’m a policeman I told you to get out of the car not have any legs no excuse’ … etc. but people just can’t get it through their heads that autism can be as limiting as a physical disability when it comes to fitting in with society
All this arguing is not good. Here’s a nice song by Matisyahu: ‘One Day’. Look it up on YouTube.
Caelus said:but what has he done?
Its seems that I have done something terribly evil in sharing concerns about how my past may be affecting me. I am apparently (as per @Nate97) an unpleasant person and that my friends & family dislike me!
I am being openly criticised for struggling to align my thinking to others' agendas. Was Orwell onto something when he wrote 1984?
My OP has poked a hornets nest and caused a lot of "argument" (I prefer to deem this as discussion or debate) - I can assure you that that was NOT the intention of starting this conversation.
Several members have questioned why I cannot change or open my eyes....Change exactly what though? I don't hate people who live their lives in a way that was widely considered not normal "back in the day". I don't hate on people that have skin of a different colour than mine.